old??????

[ali@51]

three elderly women are walking down a road when a naked man comes running towards them.
"Oh no" the first woman says and has a heart attack.
"Oh, gosh!" the second woman shrieks and faints
"Oh, wow" the third woman squeals and has a stroke..............................:p

[dglamoore]

oh soooooooo good :p

Lisa:cool:

[Django]

oh soooooooo good

Oh soooooooooo rude. :eek: You girls are soooooooo naughty. You wouldn't get us boys telling such jokes. ;):D

Pete

[dglamoore]

Oh soooooooooo rude. You girls are soooooooo naughty. You wouldn't get us boys telling such jokes.

Pete

ahhhh but is it your mind just making us seem sooooo naughty ;):p

Lisa:cool:

[Roo1]

Oh soooooooooo rude. :eek: You girls are soooooooo naughty. You wouldn't get us boys telling such jokes. ;):D

Pete

Go on then Pete, share a "boy" joke then. Lets have a giggle...;)

[Django]

Go on then Pete, share a "boy" joke then. Lets have a giggle...;)

That sounds like a challenge. Ok here goes. Nice and clean with no female putting in smut:p...


A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway. Nothing is moving.

Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists down the road have kidnapped Tony Blair, John Prescott, Gordon Brown and Jack Straw.

They're asking for a £10 million ransom. Otherwise they're going to douse them with petrol and set them on fire.

We're going from car to car, taking up a collection."

The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?"

"Most people are giving about a gallon."

[Leanne & Mark]

Not sure whether to laugh or gasp in Horror.

Very good attempt though, but not really side splitting.;)

[Django]

Ok Leanne here is one for you ladies


The room was full of pregnant women, with their partners. The pre-natal class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurances to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

She said: "Ladies: remember that exercise is GOOD for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier!"

She looked at the men in the room. "And gentlemen, remember: you're in this together. So it wouldn't hurt you to go walking with your partner."

The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information. Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.

"Yes?" asked the teacher.

"I was just wondering," the man said, "is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?" ;)

[Leanne & Mark]

CHEEKY

Thats better, not quite a lol, but it made me chuckle.

[dglamoore]

Love the second one Pete - personal experience by any chance :p:o

Lisa:cool:

[Leanne & Mark]

tHIS ONE MADE ME LAUGH

Ideal Traits In Men For Women
What It Means In Reality
Artistic
Is able to find matching socks.
Athletic
Can get up to get his own seconds.
Classy
Puts back his Playboy in the hidden drawer.
Communicates well
Answers phone.
Considerate
Has learned to splatter less and put seat down sometimes.
Faithful
Would let you know of his flings.
Hopelessly romantic
Will remember to buy roses for you.
Intellectual
Reads ‘Playboy’.
Interested in women who have brains
Has learned to look to the face of the women sometimes while talking to her instead of her chest.
Loves kids and pets
Will not throw away a crying kid and had a snake once.
Sensitive
Acknowledges the fact that you are crying.