mOZzy
19-06-2007, 08:45 PM
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and
decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family. On the day
the proxy father was
to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and
said, "Well, I'm off
now. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door
baby photographer
happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a
sale.
Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."
Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in,
embarrassed, "I've been
expecting you."
Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well,
that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please
come in and have a
seat"
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do
we start?"
Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
bath, one on the
couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And
sometimes the living room
floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
Bath, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work
out for Harry and
me!"
Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one
time. But if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six
or seven angles,
I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his
time. I'd love to be in
and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be
disappointed with that."
Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out
a portfolio of his
baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus,"
he said.
Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her
throat.
And these twins turned out exceptionally well -
when you consider her
mother was so difficult to work with."
She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to
the park to get the
job done right. People were crowding around four and
five deep to get a
good look."
Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide
with amazement.
Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than
three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I
could hardly
concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to
rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my
equipment, I just had
to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they
actually chewed on your,
um...equipment?"
It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll
set-up my tripod and
we can get to work right away."
Tripod?"
Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my
Canon on. It's much
too heavy to be held in the hand very long."
With that, Mrs. Smith fainted.
decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family. On the day
the proxy father was
to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and
said, "Well, I'm off
now. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door
baby photographer
happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a
sale.
Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."
Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in,
embarrassed, "I've been
expecting you."
Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well,
that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please
come in and have a
seat"
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do
we start?"
Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
bath, one on the
couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And
sometimes the living room
floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
Bath, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work
out for Harry and
me!"
Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one
time. But if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six
or seven angles,
I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his
time. I'd love to be in
and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be
disappointed with that."
Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out
a portfolio of his
baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus,"
he said.
Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her
throat.
And these twins turned out exceptionally well -
when you consider her
mother was so difficult to work with."
She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to
the park to get the
job done right. People were crowding around four and
five deep to get a
good look."
Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide
with amazement.
Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than
three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I
could hardly
concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to
rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my
equipment, I just had
to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they
actually chewed on your,
um...equipment?"
It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll
set-up my tripod and
we can get to work right away."
Tripod?"
Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my
Canon on. It's much
too heavy to be held in the hand very long."
With that, Mrs. Smith fainted.