Starting to have doubts about coming ..

[Guest Lisado]

Hi all

 

I am really starting to have doubts about coming over. My poor hubby, one day its all off the next day I am coming over again. I know people said it will be a rollercoaster but dont think I realised how bad it can be.

 

I am worried about finding a place to live near kids school (which we have got them into and they start 12 October), having no jobs at all and leaving 2 very good ones here, having not that much in savings to bring over, have rented house for 2 years, so thats something but I would like to have sold it. Parents giving me major flack - talk about the guilt trip. I wanted my leaving do in Scotland but was told it would be like having the "Law Supper" up there and my mother would end up hating Scotland. SO I cancelled it - but now we stil have to fly from Glasgow. My mother said she is going through a grieving process and my dad said he'll never see us again!

 

The furniture has to be packed by 1 July, leaving us in a house with no furniture, the tenants move in in August and we are going in with my parents - so thats going to be a heap of fun!!!!

 

I really really want to come to Australia and its all we think about and dreamed about.

 

I just keep telling me I am doing this for my wee family but I am worried I bring them over and we end up on the streets

Lisa

[Guest countdown1975]

Hi Lisa,

I know how you feel - I am starting to panic now the time is drawing near - we don't have jobs as yet (hubby a butcher and I'm in Accounts Payable) - we couldn't seel our house either and so have to rely on savings. We are struggling to find anyone to rent our house and we might have to drop it in order to get someone in which means we'll have to transfer more back to cover the mortgage. I wonder on bad days whether we are doign the right thing. But I think we are - we are determined to make a new life for ourselves over in Australia and most of the time are very positive about it. It is scary moving round the world and leaving our comfort zones but you have to try things in life - don't want to regret not doing things anymore - life is way too short.

I feel for you having grief from family - I ma getting the guilt trip from hubbys family and I know it is going to be mega hard saying goodbye to mine - especially with my first niece/nephew due ina couple of weeks time but go and see what happens. Take care Vicki :-)

[johnnynic6]

Ok we are in a similar situation as we have been told by the agent that the visa should be ok as we have to add our new arrival when he or she is born in Oct. We have sold our house already and moving out in 3 weeks then rent for 6 months till we leave in Feb 2010. (fingers crossed!!). We have had mixed feelings about going and some days we look at what we are doing and wonder if this is the right thing. After visiting Adelaide in Jan that put our minds at ease as we loved it especially my little boy Sam who loved the beach and the whole area. I will be leaving a good job behind with maybe a very bright future with the company but pretty sure I will be able to find a similar job in the Adelaide area. I see it as a new adventure for myself and my family and if we don't do it I think I would regret it for the rest of my life!! Its going to be so hard to say bye to my family and friends but they are only a day away! Stay strong!! All the best

[Guest bennrachpalmer]

Hi Lisa,

We too are in a very similar situation. We are due to fly to Adelaide on 12th October, we will both be leaving very good careers, our house has just gone up for sale so may not be sold before we go! We both have gone through the roller coster of emotions, but what keeps us going is following that dream that we had two years ago when we started the visa process seeking a better life.

 

I truly believe that its natural to have second thoughts and a range of emotions as your leaving what is familiar and going into the unknown, BUT if you dont push yourself in life and follow your dreams you will never know and you may always have regrets! Stay positive & good luck with the move!

 

I look at moving to Adelaide as a life experience no matter what the out come is, life is short and we have to make the most of it.

[Guest mayjess]

Never ceases to amaze me the way us humans have this imaginary crystal ball and only see the worst of what can happen in our lives, I know its very normal to be scared (so am I- even going 2nd time around) but If we let these worries rule our lives we wouldnt do anything in life or go anywhere, all comes down to attachments, we are so attached to our jobs, houses,lifestyle, money,even ppl, this is what creates our problems, I know im being very philosophical but I have worked on myself tons since coming back to the UK, Ive had to, otherwise Id stay forever in same job/same house etc and be bloody miserable that i didnt give it a 2nd go, I feel your main concern is the guilt trip your parents are putting on you, try talking to them more about it, involving them more and explaining that when they do come over & see you, it`l be quality time they get with you, they may eventually become happy for your move to OZ, as for jobs etc, think the more pro-active you are the better chance at getting something, even if its not what you want long term its a start, even getting voluntary work on your CV, employers favour this aswell.

 

GOOD LUCK

 

Mayjess

[Guest Lisado]

Thanks all - I need a Pep Talk!!

 

I have been so positive all along - maybe I know its because the end is in sight. I cant wait to come to Oz - just the worry of jobs ,etc that makes me panic and yes the major guilt trip from the parents. - Oh I meant Last Supper is what my mam said our last night will be like - dramatic eh!

 

What we found worked on my MIL was to show her street scenes on Street View and the kids' school so I think I will try this on mine.

 

I have volunteered my services at the school my kids will go to and they said they would be happy for me to go there and share my skills (librarian) so I am happy about that.

 

Hey, I feel a bit happier - few jobs out there for the vineyards - saw one for grape picker!!!!

 

I know I will have regrets if I dont go - just at the moment I am very much a - Not going mood!! We fly on 4 Sept:wacko:

 

Lisa

[Guest emmaandlee]

I think its a pian barrier that everyone must go through. We are just waiting for our police checks to arrive in oz, and then its sit and hope. I have second thoughts all the time.

 

The worst case senario is that we have a fantasic 2 year holiday!

[Guest redfoxy]

Hi all

 

I am really starting to have doubts about coming over. My poor hubby, one day its all off the next day I am coming over again. I know people said it will be a rollercoaster but dont think I realised how bad it can be.

 

I am worried about finding a place to live near kids school (which we have got them into and they start 12 October), having no jobs at all and leaving 2 very good ones here, having not that much in savings to bring over, have rented house for 2 years, so thats something but I would like to have sold it. Parents giving me major flack - talk about the guilt trip. I wanted my leaving do in Scotland but was told it would be like having the "Law Supper" up there and my mother would end up hating Scotland. SO I cancelled it - but now we stil have to fly from Glasgow. My mother said she is going through a grieving process and my dad said he'll never see us again!

 

The furniture has to be packed by 1 July, leaving us in a house with no furniture, the tenants move in in August and we are going in with my parents - so thats going to be a heap of fun!!!!

 

I really really want to come to Australia and its all we think about and dreamed about.

 

I just keep telling me I am doing this for my wee family but I am worried I bring them over and we end up on the streets

Lisa

 

You poor things, you sound in agony !!

 

It is not fair what parents do !! they had you to be free happy and persue your life !!

 

This day and age it is not that far, flights at 400 pounds latley ! skype, internet, phone..

 

Look I will refer you to "its best to have tried than to have spent your life wishing you had tried"

 

No it is not easy, uprooting and getting new jobs schools and homes etc !! if anyone say it is they must be millionaires !! It is hard and it costs money, there is work, most of us manage to find it.

 

My parents always brought us up stating "if they can do it you can !!"

 

You have to give it your all and take australia for what it is and from where I am sitting it is better than the UK from all angles !!

 

Good Luck whatever you decide to do

 

[Guest Obedoh]

Hi

 

I know how everyone feels as time gets closer, you start questionning is this the right thing to do? We are due out at the end of September and have had some great news this week as we have sold our house!!!!! What a relief. Fingers crossed and all. Friends and family keep asking why are we going and why don't you stay. My mum has been really poorly with two blood clots and feels that she will never make the journey and that she will never see her grandchildren again. My three are the youngest of 12 grandchildren and my parents adore them. I have some lovely friends who I know I can always rely on if i need to. Most of all we will be leaving our eldest who is 23 in the Uk as he has decided to stay. I can't dwell on that at the minute as i know it is going to break my heart, but then I think of the reasons why we wanted to go in the first place and I know this is what we still want to do. I'm sure most people question if they are doing the right thing and have doubts the closer it gets to moving.

 

Jackie

[Guest smoki]

Hi I think what you are going through is normal. We are in catch 22 having lost job and with the property market the way it is in the Uk no chance of selling house for what we need. We have a permanent visa so it should be all guns blazing however it is more a case of sitting and doing nothing until the property market rises and hopefully i will get another job. Thats two redundancies in two years just our luck.

 

Good luck and go for it you will never regret it even if you just try.

[Guest nickyblue]

Hello,

 

I read your post and although I cant imagine how hard it is when you have a whole family to move (There was only me when I moved as FH is an Aussie!) but I do understand the whole job and parents bit! I'm not going to fib to you...there are still some tough bits to get through! Leaving your parents, esp when they are very opposed to you is hard! BUT...you have a chance, however scarry, to live your dream and what an amazing dream it is! Job hunting is scarry esp when you are leaving a job in UK (in the current GFC). You said you work in AP - I do to and although I am not in permanent work I work non stop as a temp - they are crying out for good temps here! Which means that you can still earn while your looking for a permanent job. When are you arriving? If you would like the contact details of the agency I'm with PM me - they also have lots of offices in the UK and you can interview with them before you leave (That's what I did - it made me feel like I was being proactive!)

 

Try and stay positive because although there are still hurdles to jump the rewards can be amazing! Keep looking forward!

 

That prob hasn't helped much but hopefully knowing there are others who have made it through can be some support!

Good Luck

Nic:cute:

[Guest graandjac]

It's not untill this stage that you realise that the whole visa process has been just .....almost a game , not really happening....just heaps of waiting for the next stage.

 

Then it all of a sudden it hits home:shocked:, just think why you started the whole process, even then you had good jobs and the same family.........your feelings are normal and EVERYONE has or had them, on our reccie jacqui was in tears after 2 hours of landing saying she hated it, then she cryed her heart out because she didn't want to fly home......women...... The whole family thing sounds like emotional blackmail and its the hardest part to get over i guess, we were very luck in having both our familys blessing. Stay strong and pull together the sunshine awaits ;)well it will when you arrive , its been pi**ing down for almost 3 weeks now.........eh.......but we need it.

 

Good luck

[Guest mayjess]

No-one can be 100% sure on anything really in life, however I really belive its best to get everything as much as possible sorted in your own head, and fully focus on what your about to do, before you head over, because when you get over to OZ, you have so much going on mentally, its very exhausting and I believe this is why many land in OZ and say to themselves `what the hell have I done`, then its a uphill struggle to justify why you have moved to OZ, some can get back to the passion for being in OZ, some cant, and then some start thinking about life bk in the UK, which then begins to become an obsession, until you actually only focus on getting bk to the UK, so OZ doesnt stand a chance to win you over, it doesnt even enter the equation. Alls I am saying is you really have to want to fully go to OZ 110%, and not be worrying about things that may never ever happen. Hope all goes well for anyone moving over, its a big big thing, biggest thing I ever did in my life! but couldnt have been that daunting, as Im definatley going to be doing it again.

 

Mayjess

[Guest graandjac]

No-one can be 100% sure on anything really in life, however I really belive its best to get everything as much as possible sorted in your own head, and fully focus on what your about to do, before you head over, because when you get over to OZ, you have so much going on mentally, its very exhausting and I believe this is why many land in OZ and say to themselves `what the hell have I done`, then its a uphill struggle to justify why you have moved to OZ, some can get back to the passion for being in OZ, some cant, and then some start thinking about life bk in the UK, which then begins to become an obsession, until you actually only focus on getting bk to the UK, so OZ doesnt stand a chance to win you over, it doesnt even enter the equation. Alls I am saying is you really have to want to fully go to OZ 110%, and not be worrying about things that may never ever happen. Hope all goes well for anyone moving over, its a big big thing, biggest thing I ever did in my life! but couldnt have been that daunting, as Im definatley going to be doing it again.

 

Mayjess

 

Mayjess......thats bloody spot on:notworthy: