I have lived all over the world. I agree that if the kids are miserable then as a mum in particular you usually are also. Funny I found that when I lived in Britain the kids didn't play outside, and I had to actually go door knocking to find some kids for my lot to play with, also in the states. Once the local lot found out that it was okay at our place they all started to come around and I remember being told once we left the neighborhood in America that when we left the neighborhood just died. I have never however let the fact that I have children interfere with where and what I have done with my life. My lot have now grown, have a great sprinkling of mates from all over the world tend to have mixed with kids whose parents were expats mostly, none of which I can say have had drug or any other major problems, many have gone on to be extremely successful and now live also all over the world having left their place of birth. My kids and I am not bragging have bone been extremely successful, sociable and are able to mix with people at all levels. When your kids hit high school age the school system changes so much in every country, plus they hit puberty it appears so much younger than we did, two horrible situations at one time. School life is not as it was when you were in the same class with the same kids each day. Kids as teenagers love to blame someone for the ills of life, and you are great fodder for the blame if you allow yourself to be. Try to get your kids involved in some type of sport (a little hard for one of mine because he detested it) Adam loved theatre and became involved in that instead. Bottom line is you are boss, they are not going to be at home that much longer (hopefully that is if you have bought them up to be independent and secure). My first adventure with my lot was when we left for India for four years and I remember travelling for a few days on camels through the Rajastan desert during what was the rumblings of an indo/pak war with mig jets flying over us and thinking my mother would kill me if she knew I had my three and five year old kids doing this. However, both they and I remember what a majical experience it was, and whilst I would not do it again now (couldn't walk for a week after) I would do it all again. If you don't put your foot in the water you will never reach that island to see if you want to be there. Don't burn your bridges if you are not sure of the future here, treat it as a working holiday, you are not moving to the moon. When my parents immigrated here and lived on a revolting hostel which was more like a consentration camp, they had no choice and no way could they have saved up to go back, they had their own home within four years of being here, and I for one am so glad that they immigrated here. I look at my life in comparison to my counsins lives I had traveled the world on my own at 19 owned a brand new mgb and had money in the bank so that my then to be husband I had built our own home by the time I was 21, we had it payed off by the time I was 27. You build your own (and to some extent your children's destiny so go on if you are game jump in that water but if you think any of you are going to drown stay where you are). Life is just a big old apple waiting for you to take a bite. Now after that little lecture, is anyone up for a night out at the Boho bar, and what about that camping trip we have all been talking about, when I get back from the states in early september I am planning a street party for the traders on Unley road hopefully the council agree to same, will let you all know when it is on and I hope to catch up real soon. Time goes on and the kids will always make you feel guilty but time goes on things change.
Hope you dont mind me asking, but I was just reading one of your old posts about your 11 year old not settling here in Adelaide. Just wandered how he is going now. We have been here 5 months now and my Daughter still hasnt settled. Thought you might have some advice you could pass on. Am hoping you are going to say he has settled and loving Adelaide now.