I hate these days....

[Guest thebaddeleys]

I am missing my family today, I hate these days when all I can think about is if we made the right decision coming here. I just end up going over and over the same old things in my head and I never come to a conclusion...

 

Just wanted to tell someone!

 

Kerry x

[Guest DianeJ]

I know how you feel Kerry, but with us it's not so much missing family as 'can we afford to live here'. At the moment we are in limbo and wish we had a crystal ball!

 

Would it help to write something down on paper, pros and cons that type of thing, maybe things might be a bit clearer.

 

Hope you feel a bit brighter soon

 

Diane

[Guest kangomik]

how long have you been here?

[Guest thebaddeleys]

nearly 10 months x

[Guest turners]

we have been here 11 months and I have developed terrible people sickness miss my friend more than ever. Am glad we are here love it even thoug it is harder financially but Deep down know I have done the right thing normal to have doughts but it hard when you have those days

[Guest nickyblue]

Hello

 

:sad:I am feeling it today as well! Also just found out that my brother and his wife are not going to be able to come over for my wedding next year. I guess it's inevitable that I question my choice to move here at times like this because it people you miss and people make those life moments memorable!

 

Many folk on here say it gets easier - I really hope it does!

[Guest turners]

I found my birthday hard even though I have family here was missing the thing I used to do for my birthday but then like I keep telling the children we should be grate ful for what we have not what we don't have:err:

[Guest the4hopes]

When we feel like that sometimes out of the blue something nice happens and it makes you realise why you are here, and feel happy.

[Guest thebaddeleys]

Well I just did a quick pro's and con's list as suggested and it appears it has changed considerably since I last did one, 1 pro and 9 cons, hmmmmm..... everything on paper tells me to go back to the UK yet 10 months on I am still here, there must be a reason I have just yet to discover it!

[Guest GG1975]

I've been here a long time now.........I still miss my family all day, every day however I now since had children and the thought hasn't even crossed my mind to head back to the UK to live.

I won't lie, it can get very lonely at Christmas time, birthdays, any special day however I have managed to make some really close friends which makes it a tad easier.

Seriously try sticking it out over here for a little while longer, you never know what's around the corner.....plus I also think having Poms in Adelaide to discuss your thoughts/feelings is fantastic......I'm realising that there are a lot of people on here that not only want to discuss the sweets and choccies but also the serious emotional side of the emigration here.

Please feel free to hop on here whenever you feel alone, we're here for you!

Take care Kerry

Lisa

[Guest thebaddeleys]

The 1 pro is the weather, I do love the sunshine and the winters isn't even half as rainy as the UK.... not sure the weather is the right thing to stay for though! x x

[Guest Libby1971]

It isn't easy when you start really feeling the disctance between you and your loved ones and that can come at any point, not only when you are during your first year. It isn't easy eithr when you can't really see the better life that you moved to the other side of the world for, or when money troubles make you wonder what the point of it all is.

 

We've been here over 2 years now. During that time I felt seriously homesick more than once and if I am honest, I could have bought a plane ticket about 3 months ago but not now, and at no other point other than that. I often feel that it is not so much that I want to go back, only that I wish it were easier to stay. It was my husband's dream to come.

 

We've just had had a bad few months and a particularly terrible last 3 weeks. I have been on the phone pretty much every few days to my sister. It was odd, she found it harder than I did.

 

My brother has accepted the fact I won't be at his wedding next month. And to be honest, I think I knew that occasions like this would come up when I moved. I ahd hoped to be able to go back for them but knew that I wouldn't be able to go back for all of them.

 

It does get easier. I think. We said 2 years to be here to get citizenship and then after that if any of us were unhappy we'd go. Not sure where, but we would move. Oz is a good place to be. Is it my dream country for ever and ever? No, and I don't think it ever will be. But my children are doing very well here and we have a better lifestyle here than we could have had in the UK, so for those reasons, we're staying.

 

I hope you feel better soon, or at the very least a bit happier xx take care

[Guest Kevin Quinn]

Wow! I do hope you all have better days and dont feel so ("alone"?) down. You went through a lot to get there and you told yourself many times it wouldnt be easy and it would take two years to settle - and of course you did not move soley for the weather. So, c'mon, chin up - start remembering all the reasons you wanted to move in the first place, put the cons to oneside, (after all there were plenty of cons back home also), and start looking for more pro's.

 

Post's like this - whilst they are real life, they scare the crap out of me. We're going through a court battle, (that isnt going our way), to get there and when I read about people returning home I do wonder are WE doing the right thing???

 

Anyway, ditch the negative, it serves no purpose whatsoever other than attarcting more negative. Read "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne that'll get you back on the positive wave lengths.

 

Kev

[Guest thebaddeleys]

The trouble is we had a good life in the UK, we were hoping to make it even better mainly for the sake of our two children, but I can honestly say there has been no improvement in their lives/lifestyle, if anything it has gone backwards. At least in the UK they had all thier extended family (grandparents etc), a good nursery (childcare/education), by moving here we took that away from them and they gained nothing in return.

 

If you go up in the world by moving to Oz I expect that helps you settle, if you go down in the world then whats the point.... does that make sense?

 

(This is only my experience please don't start thinking I hate Oz or people who do love it)

 

x x x

[Guest DianeJ]

The trouble is we had a good life in the UK, we were hoping to make it even better mainly for the sake of our two children, but I can honestly say there has been no improvement in their lives/lifestyle, if anything it has gone backwards. At least in the UK they had all thier extended family (grandparents etc), a good nursery (childcare/education), by moving here we took that away from them and they gained nothing in return.

 

If you go up in the world by moving to Oz I expect that helps you settle, if you go down in the world then whats the point.... does that make sense?

 

(This is only my experience please don't start thinking I hate Oz or people who do love it)

 

x x x

 

 

Hi Kerry,

I know what you mean as I am thinking the same. As far as I am concerned my girls have lost 6 months education. Think you are just being realistic about things, at the moment we are thinking where are we better off?

It's when do you actually do something about it, do you stay and hope things get better, or cut your losses and go back?

It's a hard one isn't it

 

Take care

 

Diane

[ianb]

I think everyone has those days. Im sure we will miss family every day we are here. Alot will have to do with getting the right job which is not easy. While there is work out there getting it is another matter! Lots of obstacles are put in your way even for the most determined but unfortunately i doubt that will ever change no matter if there is a boom or bust economy.

The pros for me are the kids coming home from school and saying about this or that sports day or function, being told that the school sing the ozzie national anthem at school without the fear of upsetting someone from another country, the fact they are encouraged to speak up in class and enjoy school and it has certainly helped ours with confidence (although sometimes to much )

Perhaps we have been lucky but the good days far out number the bad.

[Guest Curry Lover]

Hey Kerry,

 

Poor you, you sound really down. It isn't easy at this time of year when the weather is miserable and you aren't able to get out and about as much. But what about all the lovely new friends you've made here - shouldn't that be on your pro's list??

 

I know that you've not had it easy here and that family and friends are a big pull back to the UK but I also know that you've had some good times here as well. Compare Easter Sunday here with Easter Sunday back in the UK, and I happen to know that you've got a Christmas in July feast to look forward to this weekend! Chin up hun, we all have our good days and bad days and we're always here if you need a good moan.

 

xx

[Guest happy feet]

Hi, i 2 am having a bad day...must be the day for it!!!! I wish i could book a flight back home, and see all my freinds and family again. I have only been here 6 months and it has been astruggle from day one. Although i am working, my husband hasn't had any luck getting work and living off one wage is a struggle, esp on temp visa. My 11 son still cries nearly ever day wanting to go home, i came for him and his sister, yet all i see if this sad little boy who begs to take him back home, it breaks my heart. Like many, i can't afford to go back, so am stuck here for know.

I don't hate the place, but it has made me realise what i already had in the uk, good job, no debt, great freinds, and happy children......it doesn't work out for everyone here, and i think i will go back when i can afford it, maybe 6 months, and at least i can say i tried it, and it wasn't for me or my family.

Here's hoping to-morrow feels a better day, and good luck to all those still struggling

 

cara x

[Guest sjs]

The trouble is we had a good life in the UK, we were hoping to make it even better mainly for the sake of our two children, but I can honestly say there has been no improvement in their lives/lifestyle, if anything it has gone backwards. At least in the UK they had all thier extended family (grandparents etc), a good nursery (childcare/education), by moving here we took that away from them and they gained nothing in return.

 

If you go up in the world by moving to Oz I expect that helps you settle, if you go down in the world then whats the point.... does that make sense?

 

(This is only my experience please don't start thinking I hate Oz or people who do love it)

 

x x

 

I think that everyone can have bad days, I know I have them. Days where I really miss my family and the relationships that the kids had with them.............BUT.............I think personally that what you are saying is a different thing - its not just a bad day it is the fact you feel your family has gained nothing from the move at all and if I were you in that position I dont think I would stay here.

 

We as a family have a far better lifestyle, the kids have settled fantastically well and the education system here has brought out a more confidant person in my son. We have a better work/life balance than back home, we are better off financially (we are not in fact earning more but our cost of living here is less) and we have made some fantastic friends. If these things did not happen for us I would move back to my family, friends and support network back home.

 

I hope that you can make some sense of your situation and that you are able to do whats best for you and your family.

[Guest Glindy]

Hi Kerry,

Ahhhh its awful when these feelings just come up, I totally understand, have been feeling homesick a bit lately myself too, and as Curry Lover said whatever decision you do make, we will always be your friends, even if we are ten thousand miles away we will still be in contact.

You are entitled to be happy and if the UK is the place you think you would be most happiest maybe then you need to try living there again. You have done an amazing thing by coming here in the first place with your husband and two children, so that in itself is a brave move that will always stay with you, and will boost your confidence ten-fold.

Enjoy this weekend anyway, and if ever you feel down post on here as you get great honest replies off people, and we have all been or are in the same boat with mixed feelings from time to time.