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    Thread: Dealing with negativity

    1. #21
      Quote Originally Posted by k8bug79 View Post
      Hi all. We have been talking about moving abroad since August and we have met mixed views from our families. Which I guess is to be expected but one party in particular seems to be very negative about it all and its starting to get to me. My Dad lives about a 4 hour drive away from me and we see him regularly but not necessarily frequently. Its about once every month or two at best and that is really only becasue he has been coming down here for other family commitments now they are nearing an end I wouldn't be surprised if this became less frequent. So its not as though he is around the corner and in the kids life all the time. I know that his comments probably stem from being removed even further from his grandchildrens life. But he has travelled a lot and we never really saw my grandparents when we were little because he moved us where we had to be for his work so I can't see why he can't give us the same freedom.
      I saw him at New Year and they asked 101 questions which I don't mind but it did feel like an interrogation. Now me and my husband have done a lot of research, I will admit that we are probably slightly blinkered and naiive as to what it all involves, but equally we are not silly and we feel we have grasped a good idea of how life would work for us out there. We have no misconception of Utopia just another country to live in and it will still have the same ups and downs as the UK, but hopefully with a better lifestyle.
      Todays offerings were telling me he had been in contact with some friends down under and that they were surprised I had chosen Adelaide as it was so close to the desert and the summers got very hot (yes we know that) and that the cost of living whilst low (um actually I thought the general consensus was that it was more expensive) the wages were also low and the taxes high (My husband is a chef and the average wage out there is twice what he earns over here and we have worked out the tax and child benefits we oculd recieve and it appears very favourable, if we are right) but then he mentioned that Chefs jobs aren't often permanant out there (yes but there are plenty of caasual cheffing jobs and hubby is happy to flit til a permanant job comes up) grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr he then topped it off with not trying o be negative?????? Then there was a text last week saying hope you are not watching "deadly down under" guessing it was about beasties etc.
      My husband is starting to get really narked and I can see him saying something soon. So for the sake of family harmony how do you deal with someone who does not necessarily think you are doing the right thing ??????
      Hi guys,
      i just read your post and really feel for you. I want to say that although i am not in the same position as you having a partner and children making the move, i am doing it alone and leaving all my family back in the UK.
      I'm lucky in the fact that my lot are really supportive and my parents even more so as they really wished they did it themselves 20 years ago when they had their opportunity so wholehearteldy back me the whole way. That said i have come across negativity from people at work who i really thought were my friends, i realised pretty quickly that it was jealousy and have since started distancing myself from those people and sticking with the ones who are supportive.
      Don't listen to the negativity, youknow why you are making the move and i gusee it's to give youselves and your children a much better life, and no doubt your kids will really thank you for it.
      Have a good serious talk with your dad and tell him how much he is upsettimg you and let him know he will be welcome to visit you and i bet you anything he'll be making the trip over as regulary as he can as soon as he can!

      Best of luck....your doing the right thing

    2. #22

      Join Date
      Jan 2007
      4457 times
      Quote Originally Posted by redwing View Post
      Hi I'm the opposite to your situation, I'm in my mid fifties, arrived here New Years eve leaving behind two children albeit 30 & 32 and three grand kids the youngest only six weeks old and believe you me it hurts when I think about not playing with them.
      I to lived about five hours drive away from them, me in East Anglia they in the North West and only saw them may be two or three times a year. When I told them well over twelve months ago that we were moving to Adelaide it was shock and disbelief but they realised they had to accept it and in the end understood our reasons for emigrating. As others have said you have to lead your own life and do what is best for you, hubby and your children. I'm sure your dad will come to accept it wish you all the luck in the world.
      Good luck with your venture I sincerely hope it all works well for you.
      Similar to your situation, Mrs Tyke left kids and now grandkids.
      They were not too bad about it but it get's to Mrs Tyke every time she returns to see them,I think a few things are said.
      Mrs Tyke then returns back here /feels guilty


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