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agree with what everyone has said, for some of us, it doesn't seem to get as easy as we would like it
I know you work full time, but if you ever have a Tuesday afternoon off, we are running a playgroup at the old cottage nursery, reynella, which shouldnt be too far from you. all poms, and often someone struggling with homesickness to chat to!
Just thought I'd share my experiences (although not living in Aus atm). I did spend almost 8 years living overseas in my 20's however.
During that time I had pangs of homesickness on and off. It was never constantly niggling away at me as most of the time life was just too busy to let me get distracted by it. However when it did hit it would hit hard and often during winter months (winter blues are a common minor depression that can affect even the happiest person).
Even if they lingered for a few weeks or so, they did pass and I would always come out the other side of it just fine. However I did used to have a sit down and make a few notes and pros and cons etc. But I would then put them away in the drawer and not look at them again during the homesick phase. Once it was past and I was again feeling more normal and rational about things, I'd pull the list out of the drawer and look at it again with a more objective mind and revise it if I felt I needed to. Often what had been negatives I could once again make positives and my list of positives to remain was very long.
Never make a decision to return during a homesick phase. Try to ride it out and look at it afterwards and see how you really feel then. Often a couple of months can make a huge difference to your mindset and your mood about things.
Also as others have said, taking a holiday back to the UK will often cure you of your homesickness. I used to book 3 weeks to spend in the UK and after a week I was itching to leave again! I used to love to see my parents and a few friends but otherwise I realised it wasn't where I wanted to be and it wasn't my home any longer. And I was homesick for where I was living overseas.
It is easy and understandable to get emotional about missing family and good friends. But you could live , 4 or more hours away in the UK and only see them once a year (as I do from many of my friends). Distance is often in your mind because its a physical thing but over time you can adjust to it and learn to handle the homesickness when it hits.
I found that my first 2-3 years away were so busy I didn't have time to really pine for anything. Nor did I want to tbh. I really made the move and moved both feet over to the country I was living in and didn't dwell on what I might be missing in the UK. I didn't compare prices, foods I was missing, none of it. Just dived in to life in my new country. I think I was the better for it. It was only after being away about 4 years I really started to miss certain things but never enough to make me want to move back at that time. Again, a week back in Blighty usually cured me ;)
The thing I would do when homesick or wanting to feel closer to a person back in the UK would be sitting down and writing a letter. The old fashioned way and posting it. Knowing that 10 days or so later my mother or friend would be sitting down to read it and hopefully write a reply of some kind was always something to look forward to.
Ummm yes, I can waffle
thanks everyone, reading everyone's posts about missing the UK but about how a holiday back to the UK would help and really spirred me on - to moving to Adelaide. Whilst the UK is great here with friends and family etc as has been said, the stress is really high, i dont want to bring my 5.5 month old baby up here with the knifings etc and the school system blah blah. So whilst you miss the UK its probably through rose tinted glasses? Ps Does it really get that cold?
chins up for the summer guys! nic
Hi to everyone, I have just registered today after reading about home sickness etc. and thought i'de share my experiences.
I had been feeling terribly homesick for nearly the whole 3 1/2 years we lived in South Australia.
I was always telling my wife that the UK was far more sophisticated and the level of customer service was also better as well as all our friends and relatives lived quite happily in the UK. This was even after taking two holidays in the UK.
We finaly moved back in March and for the first 2 weeks of staying with family it was great.
Unfortunately in the time we have been away the UK has either gone down hill or the life in SA was not as bad as once thought.
The level of incompetence is amazing, hardly anybody smiles, there is little or no work, the violence is everywhere and I could go on.
So after 4 months we have decided to go back to SA and we are extremely excited about it, although a little poorer as my wife and I could not find work and our furniture needs to make the long trip again.
I'm sure that if I had someone to talk to who had been through these feelings then maybe it would have helped me make the right decision.
hia Yes i have to agree about the UK, although i love it here in Yorkshire with the beautiful countyside its the rest of it that makes me want to move. After living abroad including aussie for a year i know that life doesnt have to the rat race that it is in England but you really dont know that until you have lived elsewhere. Im trying to convince my OH whose never left England that living in Adelaide whilst might not be much cheaper its more laid back and less stressful overall than the UK. Fingers crossed for moving late next year if possible.
Good luck with your move back to SA anyway!
Hi Carla, (and everyone else out there who is feeling abit low)
I would just like to say that I am jealous!!! I was in Adelaide in 2007-2008 and I made a pros and cons list about whether or not to come back to the UK. My pros list was WAY bigger than the cons but I decided to follow my heart instead of my head and came back anyway!! BIG MISTAKE!!! I would say I regret my decision, but in actual fact it has only made me more aware of how much I love australia, and how it is definitely the right place for me!! So I have my visa granted, and my flight booked for boxing day, so I'll arrive back right ontime for some fantastic new years eve celebrations with my old friends! I absolutely cant wait!!!
Trust me there is no summer taking place over here - The temperature is probably still higher over there and its 'allegedly' your winter!! The weather prevents so much over here - Im sure there would be a lot less options for you to keep your family entertained if you were back in the UK. I'd say you're very lucky Carla, and that you definitely have the better end of the deal!!
Hope it all works out for you!
I haven't been on PIA for so long - mainly because things are STILL tough, and in the interests of putting it plainly...we have been here 4 long years...sigh. I know now how the convicts must have felt (and yes, before some wag dives in here, I am aware SA wasn't settled by convicts.) But I am in exile here, still. The long hard road to settling in Australia is still not smooth - but having put up with misery, heartache, and knowing I will never see my family again (they won't fly here and we'll never have the money to fly home!) there is nothing else to do but bite the bullet and put up with it. I still remain so sceptical that our decision to move abroad was anything like a good idea - we'd have been far happier and better off in the UK - even my kids have never settled here - apart from fresher air they never took to the lifestyle either. Added to that, the financial stresses and strains, and the resentment of staying out here when I wanted to go home and hubby wouldn't has been the death of my former 'happy' marriage.
This is probably all very depressing - but I'm really past caring anymore if people want to have a go and tell me I should stop being a whingeing Pom. This is the reality of life out here for some. Some people will never settle; I guess I'm one of them. Whatever your head says, I would say go with your heart...
Hello Deb ... was really surprised to see you pop up on here (been a LONG time as you say) .... really upset me reading your post as I know how hard it has been for you AND still is ... we must meet up for coffee .. Gill x
Last edited by cunnah10; 18-09-2010 at 04:12 AM. Reason: forgot name
Thank you Gill, we really must have a catch up soon. :)
Anyone reading this would think I am all doom and gloom, but I actually started a new job five weeks ago - full-time as well, but still not in teaching, which is part of what really saddens me about being here. I have done what other people said I should; - I adapted and changed career, because that was what was necessary to stick it out here. But I won't earn the kind of money, or have the kind of professional status in the job I'm doing now, that I had in teaching. Giving up a vocation is a hard thing to swallow.
So, yeah, give me a call, and when I get a day off from work, we'll meet up. Hope you and the family are all well Gill. Wishing you and anyone else who reads this, the very best of British luck...and I say British, 'cos in Australia, I don't seem to have had much! x