booked the flights!!!!!!!!!!!! warning long post!

[Guest ali@51]

Hi All

 

just thought I'd give you prior warning of the flights to avoid . me and the kids are booked to fly on the 17/May/2008 @ 10am from Manchester. so as a word to the wise if you want a peacefull flight avoid that one:biglaugh:. Morgan is flying on the 11/april and when he meets us in singapore, will not admit to knowing us untill he asseses how well the flight has gone and how much the other passingers hate us .I will be the harassed /stressed/ green(and depending on how the flight goes drunk!) looking mother with the 8,6 and 2 year old.

 

Now thats over with hear goes with the seriouse stuff!!!!!!!! Switch threads now if you want to avoid it.

 

We have been working towards this move for over a year now and all of a sudden I have got cold feet.

 

 

I hate the thought of what we are doing to our familys and have got a severe case of the colly wobbles. I know I am one of those people who is not the easyest to get on with at times and in common with my daughter have what I would call angles. Whilst I am also someone that would do anything for any one and hates the thought of upseting people I can also be opinionated and stuborn. I also do not make freind easily.

I have some very good freinds here who acept me for who I am warts and all and I'm leaving them behind.

I am very aware that the one thing I am taking with us is ME and that cant be left behind:wacko:.

Granted I have just had the day from hell. Talking to my 86year old gran who has just been told and was needles to say very upset and the hard facts are that as she is not in good health when we get on the plane I probably wont see her again. My other gran is 93 and the same probably gose for her even though she is in good health. Will we be able to afford to come back for the funerals ? probably not.

 

Everybody I have met today has kept saying how excited we must be about booking the flights , and I dont think actualy no Im petrifide is the answer they are looking for!

 

 

Also I think I met the worst possible pearson I could at toddle grop today. This woman had as she put it chikened out of the move 12 months ago. She proceded to tell me in great detail however why we were making the wrong decision and that it would have cost them £50 grand to make the move even though her husbands company were going to pay for the shipping and visa costs. She must have said every other line are u sure you have done your recerch properly or I think you have got that wrong:arghh:. Thankfuly I was rescuded by Pippa marching up and anouncing she wanted a wee! yeah way to go Pippsta

 

I know the reasons we want to go havnt changed and will not change unless we take action in one form or another but that isnt helping at the moment.

 

Any advice any one

 

Other than having a few beers and a takeaway! am doing that one anyway.

 

Sorry to have a rant will have to pull myself together and get on with it in the morning

but for now I needed to vent and couldnt think of a broader set of shoulders

 

Ali (AKA the wet lettice)

[Guest Trakki]

I really feel for you Ali, I am sure what you are feeling is entirely normal. You are bound to have wobbles, I am sure I will but as you said you still know why you started this journey so stay focussed on that.

 

Big hugs to you

[Guest Blackcat]

Hi Ali

 

Have only been here since early November and I know exactly what you are going through! I can't deny that the goodbyes are very very hard, and it gets very stressfull especially the last few weeks before you leave, but you must stay focused on why you wanted to make the move in the first place and just go for it, life is too short to have regrets. I still have days when I feel very guilty for coming, especially as I have left my mum who is in a nursing home, but I do not regret coming and love it here and know it will be a better future for my children, and thats what you have got to think about, as much as it is hard to leave people especially elderly family you can got to put things in perspective that they have lived their lives and you have yours ahead of you, life is too short for regrets. By the way we love it here it is such a different way of life and I am sure you will too, Good luck, Gina

[Guest stephb]

oh i feel for you too! i think every time a new step in the process is reached it seems to bring new excitement, fairly quickly followed by "what the hell am i doing?!!!" its so natural to question and worry about the things you are doing that might (or might not be) wrong.

pay no attention to the woman you spoke to. not to say she had no valid points, of course doing the research is important, and of course there is always a risk of something going wrong. but it seems to me that there can be a lot of truth in the 'protesting too much' argument, and she might just as easily have been overcompensating for an underlying worry that she made the wrong choice. we could all spend our whole lives worrying about that!

but if you remain honest with yourself, im sure you'll be fine, whichever way things go. people always cope one way or another . let us know how you go

[newlife]

Hi

Just wanted to say although its hard when you first arrive, if you give it a fair go you'll end up loving it here. Saying goodbye is the worst thing I've experienced but when setting up a new life with the kids you find it does get easier. If you want to meet up when you get here, let us know. We are in the North East

 

Wendy

[Guest Devon]

Ali, you opinionated? Never

 

Hope it's ok. Have pm'd you

[Guest Nick11]

What you're feeling is completely normal - you wouldn't be human if you weren't feeling this way. Don't worry about making friends - some people you bond with instantly - some you don't ! You will find friends - this place does make you get off your backside and seek company and make more of an effort to socialise.

Would love to meet up with you when you arrive.

Nick

x

[Guest salisbury massive]

Everybody feels this way, lets face it you are leaving all you hold near and dear to set off to the unknown and to cap it all alone with no backup. Its a serious thing we all are doing and done and you'd be strange if you didn't feel this way.

 

Once you've done the goodbyes, which by the way are terrible and I could have easily not got on the plane, the excitement will kick in and you'll have a few mad weeks of looking for jobs, rentals, schools, etc etc etc. It will seem crazy and you'll definately have "what have we done moments" but things do settle down and become normal.

 

after 2 1/2 years here i drive around and barely notice the magnificant scenery we have. The wide roads and easy commuting, the shops that have no-one in them, the fact I never have to queue up in a supermarket, that everyone is so friendly and when they ask about your day, sound as if they mean it.

 

Its difficult to leave family, and mine were all in good health when we left, so I can't imagine what its like to leave with sick ones. I left my 88 year old nan, knowing I propably wouldn't see her again, I kept in regular phone contact and she died last year age 90. it was difficult, I didn't go back for the funeral, just did a little thing here by myself on the day of the funeral.

 

as for the woman, well she's probably just wishing she had the guts to go in the first place

cos it takes balls of steel to do this emigrating lark. Everyones an expert eh!!!!

 

Keep focused and you'll be fine.

 

Jo

[Guest ali@51]

Thank you! Having another wet lettice moment sat here reading your replys!

tring to see straight through the tears and the hangover is a little difficult!

 

Will have to read through them again lator.

[Guest Django]

Hi Ali,

 

Sorry if I seem a bit brutal here but.............

 

It is time to be selfish. Not for you but your immeadiate family. As said before look at the reasons you have started this journey. Yes you are going to leave people behind but you knew that from day one.

You are at the stage you have been longing for for ages. You are there not with just the visa stuck in all of your passports but with the plane tickets too.

My advice to you is say all your goodbyes before the day of the trip. Don't bring anyone to the airport with you (except the kids of course:biglaugh:). We plan not to have anyone at the airport we know.

Its time to think of you for a change. Put yourselves first. Think of what you think is best for your children.

 

You have made your decission all you have to do is carry it out. You got the easy bit to do. Sitting down for a day on a plane with the kids. Think of poor Morgan going out all on his own. All the organising he will have to do sorting things out for all of you, all on his own. Then coming half way back, on his own, to meet you. :v_SPIN:

 

Seriously Ali you will be fine. Come the day you will step on the plane knowing that you are doing what you think is right for your family.

 

 

Pete

[Guest Richard & Amanda]

Hiya Ali,

 

Thanks for the warning about the flights! Having met you all I will defo be avoiding booking flights for 17th May . Only joking.

 

We received our visa on Tuesday and since then I have been having "are we making the right decision" moments. We haven't had the joy of selling our house yet and are looking to take it to auction maybe. Richard's employer is looking for him to start in April and now I'm under pressure to sell ourwhite elephant quickly. We all want to go out there together but how realistic this is I don't know. I'm starting to worry how Hannah will settle and make new friends which is silly I know kids adapt and she is easy going.

 

I think its fear of the unknown and the support structure you are leaving behind. I agree with Pete and know what he is saying makes sense.

 

I'm sure Ali you will come out of this a better person with a huge improvement in lifestyle. It's a pity you won't be there on Sunday, hope the ballet exam goes ok.

 

Best wishes and catch ya on the other side!!!

 

Amanda

[Guest katsmajic]

Hi Ali,

Not met you - yet...but what your feeling is completely normal...

I get the same panic moments - its one hell of a decision were making here! But i know its the right decision overall for my family.

My nan is 83, my ex nan in law is 85, both are as healthy as they can be at their age etc. I doubt i'll ever see them again too, i also doubt i'll ever see my dad again - hes a single 55yr old living in the pub for company...we lost my fil a couple of years ago and it was horrific - but he told us 'chase your dreams and do your best for your children'...

so we are doing what we want to do - we're giving our children the chance to see more of the world, to have the chance of a healthier upbringing, chance of a brighter future...and we want to enjoy our lives and have adventure too.

 

Hope you feel more sure about things - good luck on that flight!!!

[Guest massive]

Oh my goodness!!!!!

I've not been on the sight much lately Ali because I to am havng the colie wobles as my nan would say after the meet in November I felt ok and thought it will be great meeting new people and trying new things. Then all of a sudden I thought I like the people I know here also my mum is ill an thats the real heart wrencher for me but then i think of the kids future and the way this place is going and think lets give it ago . Then i come on here an see you and Amanda having a bit of a panic and i realise we're all in the same boat so all we can do is drink ourselves stupid when we get there an have all the kids with us they can play and we can sway sorry you carn't make sunday and Amanda we'll panic together !!!:arghh:

[Guest monty B]

Hi Ali,

I've only been here 10 weeks but want to reassure you that everything you are experiencing is entirely normal and once you get on that plane things will feel very different and very real. The Good yes are awful, and there is no easy pain free way to say good bye, just hold on to all of the reasons that made you decide to emigrate i the first place.

 

And as for that woman, ignore her perhaps she regrets the fact she bottled out. At least you are giving it a go, better to do that and live a life of if onlys and what might have been!!!

 

Hang on in there, I always find wine and chocolate helps.

 

Big Hugs

 

Montyx

[Guest cornish Busdriver]

Hiya Ali.

As Django said "It is time to be selfish" Time to put you and your faimly first.

Christ if you didnt have second thoughts i would think theres some wrong.

Ours friends and familys have organised a leaving party for Me and the missus so we can say C-U-Later not goodbye.

As the missus says were not dead just moving away and theres always a telephone, e-mail and web cams.

So my advice is have a party, invite everyone who meens something to you and say your farewells and remind everyone you just a phone call or e-mail away.

I know its easy for me to say as me and missus have moved around a lot so moving again does not realy bother us.

Anyways think happy happy thoughts.

[Guest stufi1997]

Well Ali... you sound just like my wife Fiona. stubborn,logical and opinionated. All my mates are pretty laid back aged hippies who love nonsense humour and avoid all conflict like the plauge, however Fiona loves nothing better than two bottles of red wine and an educated rivel to set down and have a good debate with.....she's obviously bored with .."yes dear". But seriously the most caring helpful i've met, and even after the most heated of debates is still a very loyal friend, But the other night she really was doubting the whole thing ,worring about all sorts of minor things one of which was will she be accepted for who she is........well i think we all attract like minded people so just with this site alone we are all halfway there. We hope to book flights for april ,may...so get your boxing gloves on... oh yes and we'll supply the beers...Don't frett i'm sure we'll it might take a wee while but it'll come alright in the end... Stu.

[Guest ali@51]

Hi All

 

Thanks for all the replys they have helped make me feel a lot better:D. A lot of good old fasioned common sense goes a long way. To all those of you who have offered to meet up on the other side thank you will hope full see you in a few months. it is good to know that I am not alone with these feelings and that their are people out their who are up for a get together.

Stu sounds like just the sort of night out I enjoy putting the world to rights and then agreeing to disagree!

and Pete Morgan says to say at last someone who understands what he is going through:err: I wont repeat what I said however:realmad:.

Thanks again every one couldnt have asked for more.

ali

[Guest dave&jacky]

Ali the only things you regret in life are the things you never do so go for it and forget the rest,just think of the better life your kids will have.

Dave & Jacky.

[andy and lindsey]

Hi there, just reading your thread about getting cold feet and if it didn't have your name on it it could have been our story. We certainly got the jitters (big time) and on the day we left our house we both cried we quite easily could have unpacked everything and stayed. We've been here since October and while still early days we've seen the positive benefits for the kids who are adament that they don't want to go back to the UK. We also have good days and bad but on the whole the good far out way the bad. Nobody could begin to describe how bad the last few days and weeks were going to be and I would still maintain that it was probably the worst day of my life, however having said that once we got to the airport and started to focus on what the future had in store for us, things soon improved. Stay strong stay focused, remeber what made you get on the emigration roller coaster ride and you'll get through everything, good luck!

 

We are down South if you're heading this way, we should definately meet up (Lindsey can give you the low down on playgroups etc)

 

Andy

[Guest Guest75]

Chin up Wet Lettuce!!!

 

There will always be "Mrs Whats her face " being a harbinger of doom and gloom:chatterbox:

 

Probably just jealous at how brave you and your family are.

 

Take the chance with both hands and wring as much as you can out of it:)

[Guest caoimhe]

Hi Ali, I really feel for you too.

Sometimes I stop and wonder that when it comes to the crunch can i go thru with it.

I only have 1 sister who is a lot younger than me and as our mother died when she was very young we are very close so every time I mention the OZ word she clams up but i have to think of what is best for Stephen, the boys and I.

It IS a big step but there is no law that says we can never come back.

My granny died 2 weeks ago and although she lived in England and me in Northern Ireland I didn't make it over in time to see her, we all went over for the funeral but it is my memories of her as I was growing up that I want to remember and not that day.

You are putting your children's future ahead of everything else and as a mother thats what you are meant to do, think of the wonderful life they will have and as I have been telling myself I would rather go out there and find out if it is right for us that hit the age of 45 and spend the rest of my life regreting that I didn't give it a go.

Good luck to you all and good luck for the flight that is the bit I am dreading with my 4 kids.

p.s the woman at the toddler group is a witch don't listen to her:)

Jacqui

[Guest ali@51]

Just as a quick follow up and thanks for all the replys I am feeling a lot more positive this week and have picked myself up and got on with it! However I had a near miss at toddler group again and I'm sure this is the sort of thing that could only hapen to me:arghh:.

 

At the start of the sessionI asked a freind to keep me away from the wicked witch of last week and Pippa had a run in with a little boy who had reversed over her hand and made her cry.

 

anyway that passed over and it came to snack time as it happened we were quite late in and I was aware that their was only one chair left. we were walking round the table towards it and the little boy who had run PIppa over at the start of the session came in and I heard his Mum saying to him you will have to run to get to the seat befor that little girl:elvis:. Being the non competitive Mother that I am I thought bugger that for a game of soldies you are not flattening my daughter and then adding insult to injury by nicking her seat at snack time:skeptical:.So Pippa sudenly found herself flying through the air with the greatest of ease into said seat. As I settled Pippa in and looked around trying to keep the smug look of my face who were we sat next to The wicked which of the west from last week:wacko:

 

I'm sure theirs a lesson in that somewhere!!!!!!!!

[Guest Django]

As I settled Pippa in and looked around trying to keep the smug look of my face who were we sat next to The wicked which of the west from last week

 

[Guest caoimhe]

OK no more childish name calling, it's obvious what goes round comes around

[Guest louiesmum]

Hi Ali & family,

 

Read your post a few times thought I'd already left message but I don't think I have! Doh! Just wanted to wish you guys good luck hope the flights go well. Also don't listen to that lady at the playgroup she's probably annoyed with herself that she didn't have the courage to give it a go herself!! Keep smiling. Good luck