Not sure whether to return

[Guest James]

Hi I have lived in Adelaide for 2.6 years and have a wife and son with me. I just received permanent residency after being on the state sponsored visa. For myself I have never taken to it here and have really made few friends, all those I have are French, Italian, Israeli, not Australian but my son loves it and has flourished at school here (which as he had some issues before arriving is great). I have a job here, not well paid but stable and think at my age 46 it will be a challenge to get another job in UK in my field public sector at the moment. My wife had work for a year but has been unemployed for 6 months now and believes in bad times English qualifications are less readily accepted than Australian ones. She works in admin and has only had interviews from either other English people or foreigners (like ourselves) here. We lived in a nice part of England just South of London in the countryside in a medieval village with family. When I came out here I hated England feeling it had little future, due to poor education, social breakdown, poor economic control, decline of religious values and uncontrolled immigration. I still loved the English countryside, people and history. I think when I came I had a view Australia would be all the good bits of England without the bad bits. Of course that was stupid Australia is another country as foreign as any other. I have found the Australian directness quite a challenge professionally and I think it creates unnecessary conflict. At a personal level I have found it necessary to be far more assertive than I care to be, or I have ended up at the wrong end of any transaction. I do miss the English and European culture, art, architecture, gentility so much it is like a pain in my heart. After more than two years it is no better but worse. I also miss my parents and due to familly sickness have returned three times in the 2.5 years. My parent's health has deterioated so much since I came out and I have great fear if I can get back if they need me. It takes so long to get there and is expensive and needs time off work. Every time I go back I fall in love with England again and all the cultural offers it and Europe have. On a practical level the cost of living here is astronomical here and having just been back I know it is cheaper in Southern England even for food and utilities atleast. Housing is similar I would say. In my experience health care is mixed in both places and luck, Australia is much easier to see a GP but you wait along while for specialists even with insurance which privately you would not in UK. Anyway my heart is in England/Europe but am unsure if this is the moment to go back to that economy. My son loves it here too and will be bitterly dispappointed to leave. If we stay though we find we are getting in debt as my wife can not get a job. Any ideas ? Can your heart change after two years? Should I stay out of fear of unemployment if I go back and for my son? It jsut can make me very miserable here I feel dispaced. I also now believe you can not run from the world's problems, tehy are all here just lesser or different but still here. Australia is a very secular country and a very capitalist country and you have to like that to thrive here I think. It also has remarkably low environmental standards I have found as that is my work. Incidentally I have been in the same work place and gone to the same Chuch for all the time i have been here but made no real Australian friends. I know England is in trouble but trouble but I think it will take a lot to wash away the culture that is in teh English people. sorry for the long post I did not want to write until I felt I had given it a fair shot here

[Chris & Helen]

I feel that only you and your wife can make this decision! We had friends that moved back to the UK after being out here and wished they had stayed in Australia. I hope that you come to decision quickly so that you can settle as a family wherever that may be.

[Riponian]

If nothing else writing it down and asking for advice is a good thing. I generally find that you know what you want to do but are asking for people to either agree with you or offer you help make the other easier to live with.

As you have been back to the UK then you are not really looking through rose tinted glasses and just wishing, you have the facts and with that you can make an informed decision.

 

We have been here 2years and I lost my Dad last year and I know first hand you can't live your life for your parents. My Dad whole hearted supported our decision even though he had lung cancer.

Aussies are difficult to break into the circle, just takes time and effort. I have just joined the Surf Life Saving Club and most of the club are second or 3rd generation even but we have been going down nearly every fri night with the kids and weekends and showing your face and it helps.

 

As for the work thing maybe you need a different approach but as with most things it's WHO you know and not WHAT you know...

 

Good luck with your decision and maybe look into a different church or try a new hobby before you give it up completely.. that feeling of belonging could just be around the corner.

Either way what ever you decide you can't ever regret it you tried and succeeded where many others have failed

 

HTH

[soo_the_panda]

I miss many of the same things as you - in particular the European history and cultural aspects of Europe (I realise Australia has culture... I mean that culture in particular), the countryside, medieval villages etc. I feel very settled in Adelaide (been here 4 years) and love it here but also miss England and often wonder where I will 'end up' if anywhere. Right now I feel my foreseeable future is in Adelaide, but could easily move back. My partner is Australian - one of us will always miss out on being near our family - we talk about that a lot, but are grateful we talk often with our families on phone and skype and when we do see them, we spend quality time with them, albeit a year apart each time.

 

Making friends is a looooong process - I only see one person now that I met in my first year in Adelaide but it's the friends I've made in the last 2 years who I am closest too and see as lifelong friends.

 

I think about this topic a lot, but always conclude wherever I am, my life is what I make of it. Most of the time my lifestyle would be similar, I'd work in the same profession, exercise, go out for dinner, entertain for friends, etc... some friends in the UK will ask me 'so do you just go to the beach everyday?' and I realise how my day to day life is really not too different to in the UK... only that I can enjoy being outdoors more here, enjoy the beach every day and visit wineries! Likewise if I returned to the UK I'd have the bonuses of weekends in Europe and the London lifestyle... only you can know.

[Guest Messua]

Only the three of you can decide what to do. It's no fun being in debt, but it won't disappear when you go back to Blighty, so you won't be avoiding it by returning. You don't say how old you are or the age of your son, but one thing to be sure of before you get on the plane is that he can follow his educational/career choices and, perhaps even more importantly, your employment opportunities. Family is, of course, an important consideration, and if you are genuinely concerned then get some facts from people who know. Living over here these past 12 years, I have found that my family have been less than honest and we have spent money on a trip back, when we should really have improved and repaired our home.

Friendships are valuable no matter where people come from, so value the friends you have made along the way.

[Guest m.jephcott]

My advice would be to think about why you left the UK in the first place and what you would hope to achieve by returning. Think about whether your hopes are realalistic as well as whether their is anything you can do here to improve your life. Have a good talk with your family and do some real reasearch into how much things really cost in the UK compared to here and what you employment oppurtunities are. We have had to change a lot since we came to OZ a year ago, but being ping-pong poms we new we had to. Don't make the mistake of going back only to wish you had tried harder, but don't be hard on yourself if you do go back. If you have given it your best shot and it didn't work out, at least you tried.

[snifter]

There are plus points for you to return. Your family, your missing the countryside, culture and other things. If they can help you out, perhaps you could live with your parents till you are financially stable and able to both find work and have some savings behind you, that would help. Moving back here with debt is a risky as if it is hard to find work and so on, you will be paying off the debt as well as trying to afford to live and it could take you a long long time to get yourself in a decent financial position.

 

Work wise, the public sector is going through huge cutbacks and more. There really isn't the stability and I know people who have had to take a relocation when their job was no longer an option to keep open. And with that relocation, having had to apply for the new post, they also are on rolling contracts with no idea if they will still have that job at the end of the year. So they are living year by year but it doesn't look good for one of them as her post may well be lost also. They worry as they are in their early 50's and its hard to find a job at that age, as many people can attest.

 

Education wise, you could probably get your son into a good school but remember if he is really happy and settled, he may well be unhappy about having to go back and start over and depending on his age, especially if senior school age or close to it, it can make waves in terms of a step back in how well they may do, regardless of how good the school is. On the other hand, if he is happy to go then hopefully he'll thrive in a new school.

 

Its a tough one. Personally I can see more reasons for staying in Aus for the next few years than I can for returning. The UK is struggling atm in many areas and things like fuel bills are so incredibly high these days, heating a house for the winter costs almost double what it did a few years ago. Gas prices are through the roof. Fuel is also insanely high and it costs more and more to keep a car on the road these days. We pay (and this is in a reasonable area in the south west) £45 an hour for labour when our car goes into the garage. That is a huge jump to five years ago when it was closer to £20-25.

 

The next couple of years are going to be the deal breaker for the UK economy. Recession is predicted, and with half of Europe crumbling in debt it is set to get worse before it gets better IMHO.

 

Of course, some people return and find work, have a house to come back to (of are in a position to buy/rent with relative ease) and so on. It can be done, but nothing is certain and no one can predict how it will go for you if you return. The SE is extortionately expensive these days, make no mistake. And jobs are hard fought, even casual ones.

 

You say about the nature of the people in England, yes many are as I think you are meaning, however, many younger people don't have quite that same sense as older generations. Progress globabally has made us a much more instant pop culture disposable nation. Its a different world to me even from when I was 20. Do I like it as much? Some aspects, yes, many no. I don't like the culture of waste we now have, the disposable living and instant fix. I miss that things had a value and lasted years, not just lasted one season or till the next new model came out.

 

Be aware that for younger people, they have the highest unemployment rate out of anyone here. If you are leaving school/college/uni its a pretty bleak outlook to a decade ago. And that doesn't seem set to change in the near future. The problems with the economy won't be solved in a few years, it'll take a decade to really recover, if not longer. Hundreds of graduates are applying for one job. And there are far less jobs than there were. So its fierce out there.

 

Throw in the NHS reforms and that isn't once the rock solid instiution it once was. Changes are being made and they will change the face of the NHS for ever more. For the better? Remains to be seen.

 

I wish I could be more upbeat for you about the UK. Believe me, I think its a wonderful country in many respects and it is beautiful, no denying that. But as for it being an easy place to live these days, I don't think so. Its far from rosy for most people, even if they don't admit it in public, pretty much everyone has had to tighten their belt and its being felt on the High St. Of course, many people are doing ok, able to afford to live and so on, but the reality for many on the middle or lower end of the income scale is definately one of harder times financially and adapting to that. And job security, or even getting a job is not a sure fire thing.

 

If you really really want to come back, then do so. No point staying if you are all unhappy and don't want to be there. But if you can stick it out a couple more years perhaps consider that and have a plan to return to the UK in 2 years or so. So time to save, plan research. Or just do the other thing, look for jobs in the UK from Aus and apply and if you were to get one, head on back on your own to take it up for a few months (stay with your parents perhaps to keep costs down?) and see how it goes before bringing the rest of the family back. Give yourself some options I always reckon.

[Guest James]

Heh thanks for all the lovely replies. I really apreciate it. I know what my heart wants to do but my head follows a lot of what you have all saidabout the economy. That s what is holding me here really, apart from the prospect of renching my son from his school ( he is 9). he was heart broken when we left England I do not know if I can put him through that once more as he loves it here now. The trouble is i can not reconcile myself to life here an am frightened of being trapped here.becoming as I already am the whingeing pom. In the end if something happens with my parents hat will send me home but I would rather go back without a crises. Since Ihave been here they have already had strokes and heart surgery and my father in law lung cancer. I feel sometimes we are being called home! I think probably I am just too Engaish and yes I know Engalnd has changed but in the villages there is still something abit Miss Marple about it. There you are I wonder how many others feel trapped by the economic situation in thewrong place and worry that if they leave it too long ( I am 46) they will not be able to go back as will be too old to get a job and their children too integrated in the school here. I suppose the moral is to be sure you wan it whne you migrate as going back is not so easy!

[Guest James]

One other quick point yes cost of living is going up everywhere I still think it is higher here, return London by air $700 more than the reverse journey, not least because most things in Australia are duopolies Woolworths and Coles etc, so no true competition and it is too far to go anywhere else to buy things so we are a captive audience. \

 

The truth is with a huge growing population to 7 billion and more and not enough resources whiich ever country you are in prices will shoot up and we will all have to accept a lower standard of living, moving around may be less easy and changing jobs as the economic crises continues so I guess we had better all try and settle where we are happy as we may not be able to move so easily in the future. I am just frightened of being stuck here not just for two years but much longer. Anyway sorry had my rant

[snifter]

Ah James, please rant away. On the scale of things, it was more a getting your thoughts out there than a rant in my book Its good to talk. So please, make use of this forum and hopefully you'll find some support and more here. Its never easy moving overseas and doubly harder with kids. And I can understand you feeling so torn. Give yourself time to plan, research and so on just like you did to move out to Aus. And even if it takes a couple of years, if its what is best for you all, then hopefully it will work out.

[Guest DanandJanna]

It seems like even after over two years here your heart is still in the UK James, something you have in common with a lot of migrants to Oz. I imagine if the economic situation was better in the uk and your son was keen youd be back home in a flash. I wouldn't beat yourself up about it though, settling here is a hard thing to do. You are obviously someone who speaks from the heart and you feel comfortable expressing feelings and emotions, you probably havent found these personality traits in many aussie blokes.

 

It can be pretty hard when you first meet aussies particularly blokes, to crack the stereotypical robust exterior but it can be done you just need to adapt, that doesn't mean pandering to archaic opinion if its there, it just means basically 'toughening up' a bit. I have worked with a couple of true blue, fair dinkum, aussies in the trades every day for over a year now and they are now very good friends, despite the fact that I think some of thier opinions belong in the 18th century and i know they think at times i talk rubbish (theyd use a different description) particularly about the uk. Along with my wife we have got to know thier families and circle of friends who we can now call our friends. Its not the same as when we catch up with people in the uk who we have known for 20 years or more but considering two years ago none of us knew eachother its great.

 

Funnily enough as great as it is its made us really appreciate our friends and family back home and those long standing ties that can only develop over years of shared experiences, and among other things that has brought us to the conclusion that at some point, we will be heading back to the uk, but not for a while.

 

I think if you can foster a few Aussie friendships here James things will be easier, its always better to feel you are part of a place which is hard if you don't really get it.

You mention you find the Aussie directness hard to deal with, have you tried just being the same? I find it only really leads to conflict if you take yourself too seriously, a trait which most aussies will pounce on straight away. Its helps to have a thick skin here but also be prepared to have a joke at your own expense, you will be surprised how quickly defences come down.

 

And don't be worried about being a whinging pom from time to time, the aussies whinge constantly! If you are passionate about something from your homeland talk about it, the aussies aren't shy to talk about how great oz is. Basically don't feel you have to be someone else to fit in, you aren't going to get on with everyone but the friends i have made here know where my loyalty lies and wouldn't expect any different, in the same way that i wouldn't expect an aussie living in the uk to suddenly start wearing an English Rose.

 

As far as the church goes I'd try another, I don't know much about religous groups but I would imagine its like any club, if the people aren't right move on. We have also made a lot of friends, both Aussie and non Aussie through a sports group, they have social events and we catch up idependently as well, some people also take kids along. We had never joined a sports group before we got here but its been great.

 

Like I said at the start it seems like your heart is set on a return to the UK but now is about the worst time to do it. Try easing into to some friendships and while you bide your time things will become easier. As far as the family health issues at home, this is something all expats have to deal with at some point and only you can decide whats best but talking it over with friends here will be a big help.

[Jessica Berry]

It can be pretty hard when you first meet aussies particularly blokes, to crack the stereotypical robust exterior but it can be done you just need to adapt, that doesn't mean pandering to archaic opinion if its there, it just means basically 'toughening up' a bit.

 

I had to laugh when I read your response. I had lived in Australia before when I came over on a working holiday visa, but my partner had never visited when we emigrated. Before we came over I gave him 2 pieces of advice...

 

1) Show the aussies what you can do at work and the sky will be the limit.

2) Toughen up or the aussies will eat you alive!!!

 

Both words of wisdom were true. His career has sky rocketed over here and he has definitely 'toughened up' ha ha. The aussies will tell you how it is and it can seem harsh to us (I personally love their tell it straight approach). My old boss said to me one day 'you need to HTFU with the students' and I said "what does that mean?"......Harden The F**k Up, she said I was too soft with the students, clearly I need to listen to my own advice ha ha.

[Guest James]

Heh thanks for all these very helpful replies. The last two have hit the nail on the head especially. I have to say on the scale of macho I probaly score as low as you can go but this never affected me in England where my best mates were a fireman and ex builder. I also used to head a section on waste at ome time where it is not exactly gentile and somehow I held my own, though I do remember getting over wraught one day and overhearing one guy saying the boss was visbly shaken but his colleague replied "that is ok you have to remember he is one of those middle class sensitive types" and we all had a good laugh about it. There was a comradery because they knew they could depend on me to fight their corner.

 

Here however I just feel I can not get over the image and accent and yes I was brought up to be very Home Counties polite and somehow that makes people think you are a push over. I am not very assertive unless pushed and the bluntness here does push my buttons when unfortunatley when I finally do respond it comes out very strong and full on as I have to really force myself to be firm, Somehow then I find people resent you for it because you are not quite the gentle Englishman they thought. And yes there was the famous meeting where after two years I had enough of the hectoring at business meetings and told them " Australia was a horrible country full of aggressive rude people " causing a hushed silence though strangely I did, after much apologising get my way on that occasion,Anyway if I do go back to UK at least I will have had an assertiveness training course so not all is lost. I still think there is lot of wasted time in offices and needless conflict due to this blunt attitude but I am glad some of you like it, I guess it depends what you are used to

 

Thanks for all the replies it really helps to know you do need to be assertive, or in my mind a bit blunt to keep these guys on the level. I also do appreciate there are like everywhere some really nice people am just not sure if I will penetrate the exterior, I appreciate all the tips you really do not know how helpful it has been and how relieved I am now i can see where I go wrong.

 

Still when the economy changes and I can persuade my son I will be back to blighty or atleast Europe asap but you have given me some mechanisms to cope thanks

[Guest DanandJanna]

I'd agree with that Jessica but with the disclaimer that:

 

1) A lot of aussies can't handle the fact that you know your trade better, work harder and don't complain about conditions as much as they do, and;

2) Toughen up by all means but remember most aussies would s**t themselves if they had to find work anywhere in the uk

 

As I said in the previous post, adapt to deal with the aussie way but remember you have had the balls to move to the other side of the world, most of the local gobshi***s haven't left adelaide.

[Guest James]

I am graetful as well for the tip about tough exteriors, because that is excatly how i find it and atleast I know that is not a silly perception, yes I would like to change Churches and maybe I will I stay for my son who likes the Sunday School, although I was upset for myself when, as a trained teacher offered to help in Sunday School and they said no! Adelaide can be cliquey sometimes.

[Guest James]

I agree about the work, at my public sector job, it is just so easy it makes the UK public sector look hard and you know what they say in Engalnd when you work for the public sector you can not work anwhere else later, as you may have to work and that would be a shock!

[Guest Peachie]

My friends back in England are so fed up with the NHS working conditions no jobs and well below inflation if any pay increases, general price increases everywhere. they say england is going to the dogs Its not ideal here but I don't come home from work feeling like a dish rag and kids love the life style offered here they have more freedom than they had in the UK things like missing culture, I do question how much of your daily life is engaged in cultural persuits?? or do you only miss things when they are not availible to you? To stay here you may have to except that you may not be able to assist your parents if you are needed Adelaide can feel a back water at times thats the way some people like it melbourne may be more to your taste as more cultural stuff may have more work options also It defo has more shopping options!!!! Aldi may still get here one day then others will follow

 

How does you wife feel? what area do you live in is that reducing your wife's work options? Good luck and I hope it works out for you x

[Guest James]

Thanks Peachie, you are right we probably do not do that much cultural stuff normally although I did go to National trust gardens a lot in UK and miss that (the Botanics is my refuge here) but I think I miss the historical buildings moire and beauty of them on a day to day basis as we previously lived in a Medieval village in Surrey/Kent and before that in London but were lucky enough to be on the edge of Highgate which is also historic, I am sure if I came form Peckham I would view it differently here! I expect our tradie friends would tell us if the buildings are as well built here

 

Here we are in Frewville, my wife can not drive which limits her a bit for jobs but we are near the centre. First of all she loved it and for 18 months I was moaning on my own, she had a library maternity cover job for a year but has not had anything since in March and so now she has come over to the whinge side like me and that is partly why I am dithering about going now, in case she gets keen again and I loose my chance! Also it is so laid back work wise I think if I stay too long I will not be capable of UK work again

 

I have thought about other cities but if I uproot my son from school and then it still does not work out that seems worse for children than either sticking it for him or going home!

 

Anyway thanks for thei input and of course if she gets a job well atleast the finaces will be better.

 

Has anyone else taken more than a couple of years to get in to it here?

 

Final quick comment we have had a lot of things happen here I am known as Mr what haopened now at work and if I listed them all you would either think it was a wind up or I was more daft than the guy from Peckham!

 

Thanks again for your answer

[Jessica Berry]

I'd agree with that Jessica but with the disclaimer that:

 

1) A lot of aussies can't handle the fact that you know your trade better, work harder and don't complain about conditions as much as they do, and;

2) Toughen up by all means but remember most aussies would s**t themselves if they had to find work anywhere in the uk

 

As I said in the previous post, adapt to deal with the aussie way but remember you have had the balls to move to the other side of the world, most of the local gobshi***s haven't left adelaide.

 

 

Totally agree with the disclaimer. I put my foot in it at work the other week because I was telling them about a lady I was talking to in the library who had never been to Sydney and 2 of my Aussie colleagues said "we have never been to Sydney"!!!!!

[Jessica Berry]

I agree about the work, at my public sector job, it is just so easy it makes the UK public sector look hard and you know what they say in Engalnd when you work for the public sector you can not work anwhere else later, as you may have to work and that would be a shock!

 

I have recently started working in Local Government in Adelaide and I have to say my experience has been very different. I have to say the place I work at is the strictist place I have worked at in my 22 years of working and believe me I have worked in plenty of different places and industries.

[Jessica Berry]

 

Here we are in Frewville, my wife can not drive which limits her a bit for jobs but we are near the centre. First of all she loved it and for 18 months I was moaning on my own, she had a library maternity cover job for a year but has not had anything since in March and so now she has come over to the whinge side like me

 

Is your wifes background working in libraries?

 

You mentioned admin work and admin/office work is one of the most competitive areas in Adelaide to get work. I know at one point companies were getting 200+ applications for receptionist jobs. You need to make sure that your resume stands out from the crowd. Has your wife contacted the recruitment agencies and registerered for work with them, has she done the skills testing with the agencies, if so, if her results are good she should be ensuring this information is on her resume. I used to work as a Business Trainer and Assessor and work with students studying IT and administration and I also used to run resume writing and cover letter writing workshops.

[kildorragh]

Good luck with it all James - so many families go through what you are now experiencing.

 

A mate who arrived at the same time with me five years ago is making plans to return as I type. His wife and 15 year old love it and dont want to go. As he has never really settled, HE has decided that the family are returning. I believe that he has forgotten he's a dad first. He acknowledges he is being selfish but says it is the best decision for the family.

 

Whatever you decide, do it as a family. Your 9-year-old will cope as he is still of the age that believes mum and dad can do no wrong. You don't want to leave it until he is settled in high school. I would say decide now or in ten years time after he has finished school.

 

I struggle at work but realise that it is all worth it when I see the three kids thriving over here without a hoodie in sight.

 

Good luck.

[phil&Sue]

hi james, feel EXACTLY SAME AS U DO, i sooo want to be in UK, near family, familiar places, it may seem a bit boring after a month, i would like to see my nephew grow up, its ten times harder than what i thought here, and i am feeling "empty:" most of the time, i don't know if i can make 2 yrs, been here 18 months, our marriage is strained because i just feel like i am wasting time, i like oz, the climate mainly, but i struggle the way ozzies do relate to each other in a professional sense too. I am from Sussex, spent last 5 yrs in Somerset, family q spread, so that would be another issue!!! miss culture, proximity to europe, although i am not that close to family, wld be nice to see them, will however miss sandy beaches, possibly better sports wise for our son in future, when its 30 degrees, although the ozzies like it, i prefer 25...

[Guest James]

Hi Phil I think the trouble is you and I came from such a nice part of England that it is harder to see the advantages if we had come from Harlesden ( no offence to anyone who is) it would be easier as it would be all gains. Some of us are just quite rooted where we are from and we may need this journey to learn what we had go back and appreciaite it, or, take time to let that go and love it here

 

However if like me you are after PR, I now have it, stick it until you have it is my advise. Then you have will a choice and who knows in ten years where you may rather be. I also find you just have to find the things you do enjoy here and maximise them. I miss English gardens etc so I spend a lot of time at Botanics for instance and walking along coast. I have also used the time to brush up my languages which I enjoy and I meet people that way. I also think if you can afford it have a trip back sometime, although it is damn hard coming back again if you are wavering, it does make you feel you have not cut your ties. I agree about the climate, really it is often too hot and high UV to be outside a lot of the time in summer so I am not sure how much better it is really.

 

Thanks to Kildoraragh too for your comments, we do it for our kids, well a lot of us, and it is so hard to then disrupt them again, except perhaps we can know we are giving them a great experience by living in another place for a few years. I love seeing my son play at school under the gum trees he is so happy and that will be the hardest thing if I do go back to take him from that. I think you are right too it is either soon or right through to 18.

You know there are some really great English dads out there ( and mums I know) doing all this for their families to make a better life for them. Does not that make you feel proud of the English ?

 

I know what you are saying about hoodies, I guess when you come from country Engalnd that seems less bad but who knows in ten years.

 

Thanks Jessica for your tips I will pass on to my wife.

 

Fellow local gov officer well yes they are strict about reports etc and bureaucratic and top heavy and clock watching but I find the workloads when you are used to it are not heavy at all, just get ready for some management styles you will not have seen in Engalnd for 20 years and as for equal opps, 50 years.

[Guest James]

Hi Phil I should have also said I reckon most people have some family strain when they come out here as you are suddenly all reliant on each other totally, no one else to dilute it, especailly if one of you does not like it, the time I hated it and my wife liked it for 18 months was lonely. I was just plodding on for the sake of the family. We always said to my son if you do not like it we will not stay but never thought about one of us not liking it, we were that sure.

 

However I think the positive for me has been I have spent a lot more time with him as there was no one else to look after him and that is great.

 

On the temperature I definitely agree over 35 is a struggle for me, and really I wonder if you can spend a lot more time outdoors when you factor that in.

 

England has a lot of good points and in the South Eastern corner the climate is not bad really.