family sceptics..............help

[Guest hopefulnurse]

hi guys,

 

could somebody please shed some light on one issue for me, i have heard from friends on this site that as things get closer and you start to tell family that you intend to make the move, family start to throw spanners in the works. My father-in-law has set the cat amongst the pidgeons saying that if we do go that our three boys will have to do 2 years national service once they are 18. Not sure if he is right or trying to put us off with proceeding.

 

Anybody out there know the truth?

 

Jim N Angela

[Guest Jane.Mason]

Hi

 

Yes the inlaws and parents like to make you feel your're making the right move and abandoning them in their years of need, mine definately like to lay it on thick and what with the 50 repetitive questions and quick comments I can't wait to go. :roll:

Has the Visa Arrived? When are u going? we'll never see you again? Why are you selling the house? The grass isn't always greener? What if you don't like it? You won't make freinds at your time of life? What about the sharks? It's such a long way? The schooling's not as good? We'll never see you again

 

Can you tell they've been up this weekend? First time since XMAS.

 

Back to the subject after my rant. As far as i'm aware National service is voluntary at the moment although the aussie government have discussed the option of National Service becoming compulsory. Much the same as the UK have discussed it.

 

Jane

[Guest Guest75]

hi guys,

 

could somebody please shed some light on one issue for me, i have heard from friends on this site that as things get closer and you start to tell family that you intend to make the move, family start to throw spanners in the works. My father-in-law has set the cat amongst the pidgeons saying that if we do go that our three boys will have to do 2 years national service once they are 18. Not sure if he is right or trying to put us off with proceeding.

 

Anybody out there know the truth?

 

Jim N Angela

 

No such thing as compulsory national Service here in Oz.

 

Tell your Father In Law he is talking Cr@p from me.

I'll give him my email address if you pm me.

I detest this sort of emotional blackmail!!

 

Lived here 7 years now.

 

He is only scare mongering.

 

Hope this helps.

[Guest dglamoore]

No such thing as compulsory national Service here in Oz.

 

Tell your Father In Law he is talking Cr@p from me.

I'll give him my email address if you pm me.

I detest this sort of emotional blackmail!!

 

Lived here 7 years now.

 

He is only scare mongering.

 

Hope this helps.

 

I take it thats a no then Tyke :lol: :lol:

 

It must be a parent thing - every time Oz was mentioned to my mum before getting the visa the subject was changed and anything I said was ignored meanwhile my father was telling anyone that would listen that it is a pipedream and we would not get the visa - now we have the visa he is telling everyone it won't work - God is he going to have a long wait :roll: 8)

 

You will get negative comments - normally from those who wish they had the courage or chance to do what you are doing

 

Lisa

[Guest graandjac]

Hi All

We told our parents right from the start and they have backed us all the way they recon that we should have made the move years ago maybe we are lucky to have this kind of support

TRA under way Graham ,Jacqui, Holly and Owen

[Guest jen&ian]

Don't get me started on this one ! It's my personal rant of choice at the moment :evil:

 

Joking aside I'm glad someone else has brought this up as I was about to myself. Whenever migration was mentioned in my mothers presence untill recently she would always say she couldn't understand why we wanted to go at which I would want to scream HOW LONG HAVE YOU GOT? but would just have to bite my lip. At one stage she even suggested we leave our children behind as they were obviously cramping our globtrotting style, the red mist came down pretty damn quick on that one I can tell you :evil: :evil: . Now we're down to every day emotional blackmail similar to that already described.

 

Lisa you are absolutely right about the reasons behind it. Those of you who are receiving unconditional support- Lucky you!

 

Anyway I feel better for getting that of my chest-Ta

 

Jen

[Guest dglamoore]

Ok I now have a new rant - my parents have stated for months they cannot possibly go online to keep in touch as they cannot afford the internet each month (we even offered to pay for a year and bought them a webcam :? ) so would be up to us to call them.

 

Tonight thought I would give them a call as not heard from them for a few weeks to be told they have just sorted out getting Sky TV :twisted: :twisted:

 

Obviously watching TV is way more important than keeping in touch with their daughter, son-in-law and grand daughter :roll:

 

My rant over too :lol:

 

Lisa

 

ps phew this ranting feels good

[Guest Jane.Mason]

Hi All

 

Really sorry, My rant earlier has started the snowball effect.

 

BUT HEY DOESN'T IT FEEL GREAT TO GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST AND KNOW OTHERS ARE GETTING THE SAME S***. :!:

 

They must all be a looking at the same list of phrases as quite a few seem to be singing (wingeing) from the same song sheet.

 

Jane

[Guest hopefulnurse]

LoL, so glad i chose a topic that would get us all going.

 

So I take it that its a no about compulsary National Service

 

With being a nurse my mother has now decided that she has early onset dementia, and is telling my 5 siblings but not me as she knows that i will hear it from one of them, if I confront her she will say she did not want to worry me

And if i hear her say one more time that Australia is full of racists and chauvanists and that by taking three impressionable lads to a country like that is asking for trouble when they get older, (such a placcid soul my mother).

(God this does feel good to get it off your chest) i do agree with some of the threads, and am glad as said earlier that we are not the only ones being harrassed.

 

Let the fight continue

 

Jim N Angela :lol:

[Guest Guest75]

Phew!

 

After reading the posts on this thread it makes me spit.

 

I do think there is a bit of selfishness on the part of relatives.

 

As well as moving out here for ourselves there is the kid's future to consider.

Trouble is that relatives know they are impressionable and an easy target.

 

We had some of this when we were coming across.

Funny how relatives want to spend lots more time with your kids when they know you are leaving.Especially when they did not bother much before <sic>

 

Most kids take to this life like ducks to water.Little Tyke is now a full blown Aussie girl and is so settled here - I'm seeing this with a lot of other kids too.

 

It is a better life for them in general once they make friends here and let go of some of their UK ties.

 

Trouble is it can start up again once the relatives visit you in Oz - I have recently heard some awful tales of visiting Grandparents .They were saying some silly things to the impressionable Grandchildren.

 

My family were not too bad,my Brother was very pleased for us and understood our need to move here.

I'd have loved my Mum's blessing but that came later as acceptance once she had visited us,then she realised why we moved.

When my Uncle and Aunt visited,my Uncle was sat there with me one afternoon looking out to the sea.He said "Your Dad would have loved it here" (Dad passed away a number of years ago)

.That really put the seal of approval on the move :-)

 

So bite it or whatever - you are trying the best to give your immediate family bright future and decent life.

[Guest betty22]

Hi all,

 

I suppose we were quite lucky really as my mum and dad were all for us coming. Nicks mum soon came around to the idea. We have 7 siblings between us and we never saw much of each other when in the uk, mainly chats on the phone.

 

My mum and dad have visited 3 times and nicks mum is coming for the 2nd time in April. we have also entertained several of our friends since we have been here.

 

The web cam is great and we get to see each other.

Get a phone card its cheap about $2 an hour to ring UK.

 

At the end of the day its yours and your childrens future that matters.

i agree with Tyke emotional blackmail is terrible, you are under enough stress making the move without have all that family stuff rammed down your throat.

Be Strong and Positive and maybe when they visit they will see why you moved

 

all the best

Liz

[Guest The Ashtons]

Hi all, Inlaws or outlaws thats the question all our life our parents told us its a big world out their get off your ar** and see it.

Now we are r doing exactly as they said we are bad people taking away thier grandaughter to the other side of the universe with no phones, no visits, no www and to be killed by the million forms of wildlife that live on the planet.

how nice it would be just to hear good luck take care and call me

 

chomp over

 

PS tyke or Betty pick us up a six pack 4 the fridge arriving on the 29th

 

c u soon.

 

Bob.

[Guest Guest75]

Hi all, Inlaws or outlaws thats the question all our life our parents told us its a big world out their get off your ar** and see it.

Now we are r doing exactly as they said we are bad people taking away thier grandaughter to the other side of the universe with no phones, no visits, no www and to be killed by the million forms of wildlife that live on the planet.

how nice it would be just to hear good luck take care and call me

 

chomp over

 

PS tyke or Betty pick us up a six pack 4 the fridge arriving on the 29th

 

c u soon.

 

Bob.

 

LOL

 

I only do slabs now (24 pack)

[Guest betty22]

same here :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

Liz

[Guest BJF]

The negative comments within my family (parents, in-laws, brother, sister) ALL come from ME.

 

Sorry but moving here was the biggest mistake I made and can't wait until our now 15 year old graduates high school and we can move back home to UK.

 

I guess thats not what everyone wanted or needed to hear but it's the truth.

[Angela]

Why is that Di? I'm confused didn't you move from EA to SA recently? I thought everything was going ok.......sorry for being nosey

 

Back to the actual 'rant'.........OH is an only child, his dad leaves the room cause he keeps telling us we are taking HIS grandchildren away from him :evil: Don't get me wrong, I understand how hurt he must feel, but making me feel guilty is not quite what I expected. Oh handles it better than me but then its his family.

Giving them our PC etc & a couple of basic lessons (cause we are basic when it comes to computers) on how to get started, kids keep saying they are looking forward to our move.....surely this is enough :?: :?:

 

My mum says go for it, the kids will have much more offered to them, good age now to settle esp as Bradley only a yr off secondary school perhaps you call it high school in Aus

 

Anyway, emotionally its hard but its something me & Ash want to do as a family unit, why not ?

 

Good luck everyone, I sympathise as I know its not easy

 

Angela

[Guest BJF]

Why is that Di? I'm confused didn't you move from EA to SA recently? I thought everything was going ok.......sorry for being nosey

 

Angela

 

Yes Angela,

 

We did move from QLD but we had no choice, my hubby is in the military and when they say 'jump' we ask how high? I think I'm just getting too old for all this moving around, I'm getting fed up of not having any roots.

 

We moved to Australia because it was the only other military that would employ my hubby, after 22 years in uk RAF his contract came to an end so he joined the aussie RAAF. It was a job/life security move, we just couldn't imagine him being happy doing a normal civvy job but it resulted in me feeling isolated, I can no longer just pop home for a weekend.

 

I don't need to move back home as in my home town but I DO want to move back home as in home to UK, I've not lived near my family or school friends for a long time but they'd always been within easy reach, a few hours drive up or down the motorway and I was home, more needed when Trev was deployed overseas somewhere and I was feeling afraid for his safety, I'd just load the kids in the car and go home to my family for a few days, relax, have a moan, a whinge then drive back refreshed feeling like I could take the world on again. Being so far away from home I don't have that family/friends support network anymore.

 

Maybe this feeling of homesickness will pass with time but I'm not holding my breath on it happening. Maybe I'm just having a mid-life crisis (can women have mid-life crisis?).

[Guest paula]

Hi Angela,

 

I hope you received my PM in answer to yours. You asked me the reason we returned to England after 4yrs in Adelaide. As I said it was mainly to do with feeling guilty. My parents did'nt answer my letters for months & we were told we must be failures if we could'nt make a go of it in the UK. We were looking for adventure & better weather .

We returned to Oz after 2yrs. Eventually we came to Perth. Then we were put through the guilt trip again, this time by our 19yr old daughter who decided to stay in Adelaide! I finally decided enough was enough,we had to please ourselves first - - took me long enough.

Paula

[Guest Mrsschoie]

Hi all

 

Just thought I'd join in the rant about families. Why can't they just be happy for you?

My mother actively sought out my father-in-law at my 5 month old daughter's christening the other week to try to back him into a corner about agreeing with her and my Dad that we shouldn't be going. In-laws don't want us to go from a completely selfish point of view but understand why we want to and are behind us 100%. They've plans to come out twice a year to visit, if we get there, and have even offered to fly out with us to help us get set up and make the flight easier (we have a 2 year old and 5 month old). All my Dad can do is regale us with tales of how his sister, who emigrated 30 odd years ago, regretted it everday, always felt and was treated like an emigrant and wanted to come "home" constantly. Thanks for that Dad.

OH goes to Australia House on Wednesday to sit the testing for SAPOL. Fingers crossed, if all goes well he'll have a physical and a final interview in May and we find out early June if they want us. Training courses start September '07 and March '08 and we have to go on whichever they put him on.

Back to the rant, my sister says that I won't get on the plane. I've tried pointing out that it was me not OH who wanted this in the first place but because they all can't imagine doing it (haven't got the guts) they think I shouldn't want to. I could scream.

Battened down the hatches for the expected snow over the next few days. Don't you just love the English weather?

 

Cheryl

[Guest graandjac]

Hi bjf

DONT COME BACK HERE the uk is going down the pan believe me tax ,crime, schools ,health service ,dont get me wrong i love england but the goverment have taken it to the end cant wait to get to oz for our new adventure if not for us but our kids, befor we know it there will be no one left here who was born here. Iam not a political person but there is so much wrong with this country and it IS getting worse gra and jac

[likesshopping]

..here here!

[Guest hopefulnurse]

In response to BJF,

 

I swear this country is becoming worse by the day. I currently live in Liverpool. This past month two teenagers have been shot in the city and a 7 year old has been taken into care along with his family for sefety after him stabbing a woman neighbour 21 times because she was arguing with his mother :!: ............... I work as a district nurse and there are parts of the city that you feel physically sick when you see you have a patient there for fear that when you leave the car it will be vandalised, stolen or you could be physically assaulted.

9 months for a visa we have been told , every day is agony but hopefully we are doing the right thing. I was talking to a patient over the spate of shootings within the city and they said that they had missed a couple of reported shootings as a gun attack is no longer headline news :evil:

 

Please BJF rethink your move

 

Jim n angela