son's decision to return to uk!!!!

[tracy holland 1]

21 year old son dropped a bombshell today said after 6 months he still can't find ways to like it here. Misses friends etc I do understand but feel like my world is falling apart!!!

[Guest Jennet]

At least he gave it a try, my 21 year old won't do that, he may come back to the UK and think 'what for'. the best way to think is that most 21 year old are away from home at UNI and don't come back home after 3 - 4 years of independence. hope you don't get the guilty feel

[tracy holland 1]

At least he gave it a try, my 21 year old won't do that, he may come back to the UK and think 'what for'. the best way to think is that most 21 year old are away from home at UNI and don't come back home after 3 - 4 years of independence. hope you don't get the guilty feel

Thanks for that you are right and understand how much he gave up to come here. Really wouldn't want him unhappy you have strange thoughts like shouldn't have come it's our fault etc. Thanks for support.

[catherine.c]

Is he working? At Uni? Into sports? These are all good avenues to make friends here.

Could he do some travelling, taking casual work along the way? There are lots of young people that start off doing this on their own and soon meet up with others doing the same thing. I know a 21 yr old who has travelled around Oz twice (a year each time) and has now decided to stay just outside Perth. He has many friends in the UK and made so many friends on his travels - just feels that Oz has so many opportunities to have fun, which is what all 21 year olds should be having (and not just 21 yr olds)!

I believe that there are websites geared towards single travellers so it might be worth looking at to see if he is tempted?

All the best

[jim and adel]

Must be hard for you, although when I was 21 if my parents had migrated I wouldn't have gone with them because I was ready to set out on my own and become independent. If you'd remained in the UK he might well now be announcing he's about to travel the world! In short, he's probably at the age where he would be lessening his dependence on his parents anyway, and friends and the familiarity of the UK are bound to be a big draw.

 

Also, and this might be a bit controversial but I'll say it anyway, Adelaide isn't for everyone - especially not all 21 year olds! Perhaps there just isn't enough (apart from you guys) to keep him here. I doubt it's a place I'd have hung about in for long as a 21 year old.

 

Good luck

 

Jim

[mottie]

Unfortunately I know how hard it is for you.......we emigrated (to Perth) with a 19 year old....a year in he told us he was going back home as he missed his mates etc etc.........anyway we decided that we'd stay in oz but move to Adelaide. We have settled in really well here, our son came out to see us in January and decided that he'd give Adelaide a go and he arrived last week............it really has been a roller coaster of a time for us but hopefully it may all start to fall into place............all I can say to you is...I know exactly how you feel and if you need a shoulder to cry on mine is more than willing...... Your son may find that when he goes back his mates have moved on, the grass isnt as green as he thought and perhaps Adelaide isnt that bad after all. I wish you good luck and big hugs!!

[tracy holland 1]

Yeah he is working. His friends have kept in touch. He has tried really hard to make it work but just can't and we understand that. He also has a girlfriend in UK who was coming out in May on 12 month visa but not even that has helped him so his only option is to go back to Uk. Thanks for great advise

Is he working? At Uni? Into sports? These are all good avenues to make friends here.

Could he do some travelling, taking casual work along the way? There are lots of young people that start off doing this on their own and soon meet up with others doing the same thing. I know a 21 yr old who has travelled around Oz twice (a year each time) and has now decided to stay just outside Perth. He has many friends in the UK and made so many friends on his travels - just feels that Oz has so many opportunities to have fun, which is what all 21 year olds should be having (and not just 21 yr olds)!

I believe that there are websites geared towards single travellers so it might be worth looking at to see if he is tempted?

All the best

[tracy holland 1]

Yeah we felt very privileged when he said he was going to give it a try. I no what you mean about Adelaide we love it! but we aren't 21!! do have a daughter here too she is at TAFE and making friends so fingers crossed this doesn't unsettle to much. Thanks for advice

Must be hard for you, although when I was 21 if my parents had migrated I wouldn't have gone with them because I was ready to set out on my own and become independent. If you'd remained in the UK he might well now be announcing he's about to travel the world! In short, he's probably at the age where he would be lessening his dependence on his parents anyway, and friends and the familiarity of the UK are bound to be a big draw.

 

Also, and this might be a bit controversial but I'll say it anyway, Adelaide isn't for everyone - especially not all 21 year olds! Perhaps there just isn't enough (apart from you guys) to keep him here. I doubt it's a place I'd have hung about in for long as a 21 year old.

 

Good luck

 

Jim

[tracy holland 1]

Good to hear someone else in same boat good luck with him coming back. Life certainly is a roller coaster from day got visa!!! but that is a whole new story!!! Thanks for offer of shoulder good to no. Yeah grass isn't always greener but guess he has to find out all we can do is support him and be there for him x

Unfortunately I know how hard it is for you.......we emigrated (to Perth) with a 19 year old....a year in he told us he was going back home as he missed his mates etc etc.........anyway we decided that we'd stay in oz but move to Adelaide. We have settled in really well here, our son came out to see us in January and decided that he'd give Adelaide a go and he arrived last week............it really has been a roller coaster of a time for us but hopefully it may all start to fall into place............all I can say to you is...I know exactly how you feel and if you need a shoulder to cry on mine is more than willing...... Your son may find that when he goes back his mates have moved on, the grass isnt as green as he thought and perhaps Adelaide isnt that bad after all. I wish you good luck and big hugs!!

[sidestep]

Remember that if he goes back to the UK there will come a point where he won't be allowed to come back to live in Aus unless he applies to migrate in his own right. Dunno what visas you are currently on but it's something to consider.

[catherine.c]

Remember that if he goes back to the UK there will come a point where he won't be allowed to come back to live in Aus unless he applies to migrate in his own right. Dunno what visas you are currently on but it's something to consider.

 

Very wise advice!

[Guest guest9403]

Our 23 yr old son came with us too..he too misses his mates and he too left a GF back home (Ireland)...but i have decided oz isnt for me and all of us will return home in october..i cant settle at all,miss my family too much so understand what my son is going through.He may decide to travel again and i hope he does...and im glad he came to expierence this adventure with us!!

[Kingpin]

Our 23 yr old son came with us too..he too misses his mates and he too left a GF back home (Ireland)...but i have decided oz isnt for me and all of us will return home in october..i cant settle at all,miss my family too much so understand what my son is going through.He may decide to travel again and i hope he does...and im glad he came to expierence this adventure with us!!

 

I am feeling a bit like returning home today, Ruth. Some sad news from a friend back home and I just feel so far away. Not sure it is easy for even the young ones to settle so completely understand the young adults missing their old lives. Have you made a definite decision to go back?

 

sarah

[claire.p.]

so sorry to hear that, it must be really hard for you:( i have left my two sons in the uk aged 20 and 23, they have their own lives and as much as i miss them at least they will always have the oppertunity to come here whenever they want. my 15 yr old daughter is with us and has been very up and down settling in but finally seems to be getting there, thank god, its such a worry isnt it? your son may go back and then realise he misses australia you never know! hope everything works out for you, im always here if you need a chat.x