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    Thread: Stubbon kids

    1. #1

      Stubbon kids

      Good day
      Has anybody had or got the same dilema as us, & could offer some advice.
      Myself & Sue are desperate to move as is my 9 year old daughter Megan.
      We have a 21 year old, Andrew, who is in the army & will follow us out there when he decides to pack army life in, he says there is no way he will live in the U.K.
      The problem is our middle son Scott, he is 16 just started work as a heating engineer, & is dating, he refuses to move and is adamant about it.
      This will stop the whole family going as we will not leave him.
      At present we have passed TRA, got our state sponsorship, & are ready to apply to DIAC for our visas.
      We think the best way is to apply for visas, get visas this year, do a family reccie next year, this will validate all visas, plus give Scott a look at Adelaide, then I think he has 5 years in which to use his visa.
      Dave n Sue

    2. #2

      Senior Member
      Join Date
      Apr 2007
      Old Reynella
      420 times
      I would deffo validate all the visas even if he says he is certain he doesn't want to go.
      As you say this gives you a 5 year window. In 5 years he will be in his twenties and a self supporting adult and can do whatever he wants. I believe that once your children have grown up they must make their own choices and you must then put what is right for yourselves. If this means you going and them staying then so be it. I have 2 older children with my first wife. As hard as it is to move downunder without them we have to put what we feel is the right thing to do for my little ones. The older ones are old enough to make their own decissions. We gave them the option and they opted for Ozzy holidays.
      Also between now and then when/if he and his girl friend split he will be well up for a move to the otherside of the planet.;)


    3. #3

      Senior Member
      Join Date
      May 2007
      Hallett Cove
      62 times
      pete said it all!
      deffinitly make him to at least validate the visa and then see how it goes really.

      line up some very tempting things to do when he gets over so he gets to see the great things about being in oz! and i am sure the girls are just as nice ;)

      have a look into apprenticeships as well - to give him an idea what he could do there.

      try and cover all his interests - but i am sure you'll do that anyways!

      good luck!

    4. #4
      Tell him he has to validate his visa and stay for at least 6 months to see if he likes it.
      If he is able to support himself in the UK then he can go back if he still "wants" to.
      You might be pleasantly surprised!

    5. #5
      Beg him, bribe him, lie to him, make deals you know you won't fullfill, give him the option that in 6 months and he does'nt like it then you'll send him back, tell him if it's true love then you'll pay for his girlfriend to come over for a year if they still are feeling bthe same in six months. Im talking from a real experiance here and i don't know what kind of kid he is ? he may be very mature and a couple of months down the road he may miss you and change his mind but thats all subject to your family support.
      At the end of the day he is still a kid and at that age 2 weeks is an eternity with all those hormones kicking in. we forget how intense everything feels when your young, so 2 months in the sun and new chicks on the go will defo have an effect on him when he is there. so i can't tell you publicly why i'm so strongly saying this........if you can get him out of here ,even under duress or through foul play, DON'T LEAVE HIM!
      We are at their mercy unfortunatly but you have to think of yourselves to.
      I wish you all the best in this . Stu.

    6. #6
      Thanks for the support Pete, this is my view entirely, you make a lot of sense.

    7. #7
      Hi guys
      Thankyou all for your replies, was gion to show him what you all wrote, but don't think I dare LOL.
      Hope to see you all soon in Adelaide, keep the tinnies cool.
      Dave n Sue

    8. #8
      Hi Sarah.
      thanks for the reply, whats Hallett cove like, we have friends there, Kelly n Steve Patch, it is one of the places that interests us, I'm a sheet metal worker & am hoping to find work maybe in Lonsdale or close by
      Dave n Sue

    9. #9
      The Waite Family

      We are in a similar situation.

      Daughter 18 can't wait to go and if we don't hurry up and get a move on she will go without us.

      Son 11 can't wait to go and talks all the time about when we go to Adelaide.

      Son 16 next month is a completely different story. There is no way he is moving to Australia! And if we force him he will come back on his 18th birthday and live with his grandparents!

      Well we are forcing him cos there's no way we are leaving him. He has started to come round a bit more and talks about Adelaide sometimes, he says there's no point in going to college in September cos he won't be there that long lol. :p

      He has told all his mates at school that we are going and now they all call him Crocodile Dundee!

      Just keep talking about it openly, that's what we did and he began to realise that he couldn't change our minds even with threats and I think he is even looking forward to it now but there is no way he will ever go in the sea because he knows for a fact he WILL get eaten by a shark! :o

      Oh and when he gets to 18 I will have absolutely no idea where his passport will be :)
      Last edited by The Waite Family; 03-04-2008 at 01:14 PM.

    10. #10

      Senior Member
      Join Date
      Jun 2007
      Hallett Cove, Adelaide
      160 times
      Oh and when he gets to 18 I will have absolutely no idea where his passport will be :)[/quote]

      Nice one!!;)
      Great advice from all but at the end of the day, you guys are the parents and do know whats best for your children. Mum and dad should stick to their guns and show no wavering or else a child will see it and use it against you!! :o
      Judi x


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