Not sure if this is the place to post this, so happy to be redirected if the mods think it's appropriate.
I just wanted a bit of advice from other PIAs who might be / have been in this situation.
Hubs & I have been out here since 2011 & recently bought a house so looks like we're staying
His family are pretty happy for us, his parents visit every couple of years, they have another son & grandkids nearby them so no issues there.
My family, however, are quite elderly & were pretty angry & sad when I emigrated, I am an only child & they regarded it as kind of a betrayal and still bear me a fair bit of resentment
We went back to visit them last year & stayed with them (at their request) and all was a disaster, with them expecting us to spend our entire time drinking coffee sat on their sofa, & me & hubs obviously wanting to catch up with the old buddies, go out drinking, come back late etc. It was not pleasant.
Due to some health scares recently I want to take a trip back next year to hopefully see them before there's no more opportunity, and leave things on good terms. Hubs doesn't want to come & I don't blame him, plus I have 2 more weeks a/l per year than him so makes sense for me to use it this way and him to stay home & look after our dogs.
However I don't want to stay in the "family home" after last time, and suggested I book a holiday apartment nearby & see my relatives every day for coffee, lunch, whatever, but then have my own space for friends and drinking in the evenings (all at my own expense, of course). My elderly relatives have gone mad about this to the point they don't want to see me unless it's on their terms, ie. staying under their roof. I've no idea why they want this as a) it made them mad last time when I stayed, and b) I personally wouldn't want someone in my house who didn't want to be there.
Hubs suggests I just go ahead & book my flights & accommodation & they will come round. I think this is probably true but it seems an expensive gamble, and while I'd love to catch up with my old mates etc & could easily fill 2 weeks in my home city without family input, my primary reason for visiting is to see them. Alternatively I could wait and see if they have a change of heart in the next 6 months. Or I could just not bother (which is what I'm tempted to do now - spend my money & a/l doing something I would enjoy, but I am sure I would regret that in years to come).
Sorry this is a long post but has anyone been in this situation who could advise? Either on here or by pm? I would really appreciate it :-)