Panic

[Guest Doodle]

Hi All

 

Its been a while since I have been on here (We are new parents?!!?), but I do sometimes get chance to look at whats going on?!

 

I am just writing to ask if anyone else has had a bad case of panics?

 

We have been asked to attend medicals and whislt in the back of my head I know that this means we can still fail...I am starting to panic that we might pass and then panic and question whether we are doing the right thing??? I mean I was over the moon to find out we had been asked for medicals ?

 

Is this a normal thing we all go through or is it the lack of sleep (being a new mum) that is making me think completely irrationally...?

 

If anyone could help, advise, offer words of wisdom that would be soooooo great

 

Congratulations Lisa xxx

Deb

[Guest Guest75]

It is entirely NORMAL to have a few panic attacks and nagging doubts.

 

Seriously I don't think that anyone who has moved here avoided them.

 

We had lots!!!

 

Worth it now though!!! :lol: :lol:

[Guest Dave & Kerry]

Hi

As its one off the biggest decisions you will ever have to make, especially with kids involved, I would worry if I had nothing to panic about.

[likesshopping]

Hi Kerry

 

yes, I think we all have had those moments thinking...'OMG, are we doing the right thing'......it must be a bit more intense for you, what with lack of sleep (can remember those sleepless nights well- mine are 7 & 9, it gets easier)

 

 

She who dares wins......

 

sarahx

[Guest Doodle]

Thanks everyone, I am having terrible doubts and thoughts of dread.

 

I am worrying about the little one more than myself/OH....for example I am terribly worried about the big issues like finding a home and somewhere to settle quickly in the right place at the right cost, finding a job (all to support little fella). Then I worry about how I will find out about the little things like finding the right washing powders (little man is allergic to some).

 

Theres no one thing in particular, and you're right the lack of sleep doesnt help! I am just panicking like mad.....

 

We are just at the point of going for medicals next week too.....I mean we might not even get through them, but the panicky feeling is terrible.

 

We did go on a reccie and we loved it (prior to the little one) but it seems such a long time ago and its hard to remember sometimes why we are doing this....I bet I sound completely muddled...sorry folks I am dazed and confused

deb :?

[Guest jen&ian]

Deb,

 

I feel like this on an almost daily basis, so you're not alone. Sometimes it's like a practical joke that's gone too far :shock: . At the end of the day we won't know unless we go, also I wouldn't want to give all those people who thought we wouldn't go through with it the satisfaction of being right :twisted: .

 

keep smiling

Jen

[Guest graandjac]

i would of thought that if you dont panic there is something wrong so very normal, remember the reasons why you started in the first place this conntry is going down the pan of to a better place

[Guest Django]

remember the reasons why you started in the first place this country

 

Stole my thunder somewhat. Remind yourself that you are doing this to give yourself and your family a better life. Look at what you will be gaining against what you will be losing. Yes it is hard to leave loved ones behind but nothing good in this life comes without its price.

Chin up and keep telling yourself exactly why you are doing this.

 

Pete

[Guest Dave & Kerry]

Deb

 

Maybe you should arrange a sitter and you and OH go for a short break away to de stress and re access your reasons for immigration in the first place. Sounds like everything is getting on top of you, understandably, especially as you are new to parenting and having sleepless nights doesn't help.

 

You may find yourself coming back with a fresh perspective and better outlook.

 

Good luck

[Guest Doodle]

Hi All

 

Thanks for all your advice, it all makes perfect sense and a night off, well that would be great! (Although I fear I would probably fall asleep!).

 

OH has talked me into not giving up on the medicals and at least going for them as that may seal our fate anyway.....Also he has told me it would be silly to give up now (which is so true, I really should be very grateful for getting this far.....see I am so irrational?!)

 

He has also promised to help me with the research (washing powder, is obviously high on the agenda?!!?! :lol: )

 

I am cheering up a bit and I think alot of you are right I am just feeling very overwhelmed :oops: And now I feel a little embarassed and a bit ashamed of myself

 

It is sooooooo reassuring to know I arent alone in the way I am feeling though and that has made a massive difference...I was begining to think there was something the matter with me. I am normally such a positive upbeat type of person....

 

Thank you all so much you have all been so very reassuring and understandingxxxxxx

I am going to try and focus and why we started this in the first place and get myself one of our holiday piccies on display to remind me!

Deb

[Guest ali@51]

Hi Deb

 

I can only agrre with every one else that it is perfectly normal to panic. We are only just at the start of the process and have already had 2 major ones. 1.when outlaws tryed the emotional blackmail and another last night when we found out that morgans governing body has got his skills assesment and should process it in the next 3-4 weeks :shock: :shock: . Its suddenly very real.

 

I think the night off is a very good Idear. Dont wait untill your not tired. because its never going to happen again. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

 

If you do manage to get out you will probably spend the first hour or so talking about the baby the next 10 min or so staring at the table wondering what you talked about before the baby and then if your really lucky you might fit in say 5min sensible discussion before you land face first and snoring in you pudding :!: :!:

 

best of luck

 

ali and co

[Guest Kath_and_Ian]

Unless you have a serious pre-existing medical condition which will prevent you from working, or will cost Australia a lot of money in healthcare, you probably won't fail the medical, so that takes one more worry away from you.

We're now at the stage of saying goodbye to people, as we leave in 3 weeks' time, and only last night we were asking each other if it was worth it for all the trouble it was causing. In the end we decided it was, but felt better for having talked through the reasons again. It has been said that migration can seem a bit like a bereavement; if not it is certainly very stressful. When you add the stress of moving, selling your house, sorting out your finances plus, in your case, a new baby, it's no wonder you're stressed. :twisted:

The medical is a key date, as you will have to validate your visa within one year of this. Think to yourself, will it feel different a year from now? You can always then go on a holiday (funds permitting) to validate your visa; you then have 4 more years of unlimited movement in and out of Australia. Will you still want to be where you are now in 5 years' time? Do you want the option of moving somewhere else if you decide you don't want your little one to grow up in this country?

Remember if you don't take up this option now, you will have to go through the whole process again from the start, with all the stress that entails.

Some women (in particular) find it stressful being away from the support network of family and friends when they have a young child. Although there are mother and baby groups, mothers can feel quite isolated in a new country if they are at home with a toddler all day. This might have a bearing on whether or not you want to move now. People on some forums may not want to admit it, but this is a major problem that some had not considered. If you feel this will affect you, you may want to wait until your baby is nearly at school, I don't know.

I hope this is of some help; it's just me putting into words some of the questions we have asked ourselves and each other as we go through this process.

 

Best Wishes

Ian

[Guest graandjac]

Hey!

 

Just been reading through your 'ramblings' and can absolutely relate with how you are feeling.

 

You are so lucky to be in this postition and the sooner you do it the better the little one can adjust without making those bonding friendships at school. Children are sooooo resiliant and you have that on your side. As long as you and the OH are OK the baby will click in just fine.

 

I envy you. My children are 8 and 9 and I would have loved them to have had this opportunity younger. We're trying to get out there before H starts secondary school.

 

This country is s**t and is getting worse!! For the sake of you and your family at least give it a go. I reckon you will regret not doing it. If you went for it, at least you can say you tried it - you can always come back with the thought you tried. I reckon you'll be pleasantly surprised. It'll do wonders for your relationship too as a family! Just stay open minded.

 

Can I just ask.....are you all a close family and is there some guilt about taking the baby away from the 'family'? The most important people are you. That's all I can say.

 

Happy Travelling

Jac x

[The Monaghans]

Hey Deb,

 

You're not alone in worrying about what will happen when you go (and if you've got this far, most likely your visas are all but certain). We have two small children aged 3 and 18 months. We had to tell my mum last weekend that we had got our visas and would be leaving round about July. Poor mum (who is widowed) burst into tears at the thought of losing her only child (me) and her two wonderful grandchildren. I felt soooo bad but I know that we are doing the best thing possible, not just for the children but for us as well. Yes, it will probably be terribly hard for you at first, but it WILL pass. I reckon that within the next year or so, all of us wil be out there anyway so it will be party night every night and during the day we mums can meet on the beach and watch our children have an absolute ball! Keep your chin up.

 

Liz

[Guest Doodle]

Hey All

 

Thank you have all made me feel part of your community and I think I needed that more than anything in my current state of mind, you have all been so reassuring...helpful and utterly understanding

 

The GUILT, well I recon I could write a book on that! I too am an only child with the only grandchild, and on the other side the only grandchild bearing the family name....I feel completely terrible that I may be taking my precious little baby to the other side of the world and in some cases some family members will NEVER see him again...I cry just thinking about it. I feel incredibly cruel...

 

I think I must have depressed everyone, I am so sorry again...

 

But on the positive side prehaps what all us mums need is a mums and childrens club? Prehaps we could start it on the forum and then when we get to the other side continue????

 

I am going for the medicals, as you have all said this is an opportunity and I think I would be utterly selfish if I didnt give it a go, I mean I am very lucky....I really need a good telling off for my behaviour this week as I should be very grateful

love to all and thank you

deb

[Guest Django]

But on the positive side prehaps what all us mums need is a mums and childrens club? Prehaps we could start it on the forum and then when we get to the other side continue????

 

What about us dads? When we go over.....eventually.... :lol: ... Tracey will be the one working and I will be at home with the little darlings :roll:

 

Don't worry too much about others. You really got to do whats best for your own family. Its not easy but if you feel guilty you won't go or go an come back. Be firm but at the same time tell them why you are going and they will understand. If they try the guilt trip then its is them that are being selfish. IF they cared they would give you their blessing and wished you well.

 

Pete

[The Monaghans]

Pete's right. Your family love you and want you to do what's right for you and the little one. And really, nothing is forever. If you go over and give it at LEAST two years but still feel bad, come back to England. Then you can say at least you tried. If you don't even try you'll probably have regrets for a long, long time. Am more than happy to help you set up a mums and toddlers group as well. (You can come to Pete, we promise not to talk about "girl stuff" too much! We might even discuss the footie with you!)

 

Liz

[Guest Doodle]

Hey Pete and Liz thats two for our new club!

 

When are you two heading out there?

 

Defo take you all up on that Liz re setting up a club for parents and children.

 

And yes pete of course you would be very welcome as too would any other dads

 

Little one has just cheered me up as he has just pulled himself up on the furniture and walked!!!!!! Am so pleased havent even told his dad yet

 

Hey you guys he has just done it again!?!?! I am so proud

 

 

Oh and he is soooo pleased with himself too, he is shouting and laughing and smiling all over the place....

 

Your defo right must focus on him and his future, they are just so precious

 

deb

[Guest Django]

We have only just started the mission so we won't be out there until next year sometime. So keep the membership open for me.

[Guest Kath_and_Ian]

Talking about the guilt thing; my mum's sad we're leaving, but I've compared it with relatives of hers who went in the 50s. We're going to be able to keep in touch via skype etc., and if the worst comes to the worst we can be back in a day. When they went back in the day, they really did leave everyone behind, and only saw them again when Cilla Black did Surprise Surprise.