Cold feet

[Guest VINDER]

Hello,

I am not sure where to post this so Im just trying to guess where it fits in the best.

Simply need to get this off my chest..

 

The date for me and my gals to be there seems to be getting closer. Not so much of time left and Im starting to have cold feet. Well, to be honest, the past one month has been pretty crazy tying up loose ends at school etc N i have been pushing all this "uncertain" thoughts away..becaue this is what Hubby and I have decided on 4 years ago. Got a house sorted out for ourselves and have even enrolled both the girls in a school that we are happy with. BUT THEN,......

 

TODAY when I picked my 7 year old daughter from school, she was in tears. Stopped the car to ask her why and her answer brought all my mixed feelings up to the surface. It looks like her teacher has given out their Primary 2 ( next year's) booklist and since the class teacher is aware that she won't be around next year, she didn't get one. and that made her realise that she would not be with her friends whom she has been with for the past 2 years.

 

Seeing her so upset and having questions thrown to me such as " Do you think I will have friends there?", " How long would it take me to make new friends?" and " Why do we need to go to adelaide. cant we just stay here"..really shook me.

I guess I thought it would be easy for my gals to start anew etc.... but now, I have no answers to give her. I did try but it sounded so lame:sad:

Cant talk about this to anyone here coz many people who are still here in M'sia dont understand why we want to leave and start over at a new place leaving family and friends behind. And it looks like today, my 7 year old feels the same way too.

 

well, thanks for listening or reading..I still dont have any answers for Myrna but it sure is a relief to share this with someone

[Denise]

Hi Vinder

 

I can't really give any advise on this as my children are both under 2 so its much easier taking them as they don't have any understanding of what is happening. Its great you can share your thoughts on here and I'm sure you will get lots of replies from people who have been in your situation.

At least if you go and you give it your best shot then you won't be wondering what if.

Nice to read your honest post and I'm sure you will all work through this.

Denise

[Guest caoimhe]

I have no words of wisdom but I think it is only natural for us all to feel like this at some stage in the process. You have to think of the bigger picture and the future life for all your family. Good luck with everything:wubclub:

[Guest ems]

Hi Vinder.

That must have been so hard to hear your daughter ask those questions. Has she been excited up until this point? I havent made the move yet but my daughter is also 7 and we are looking at going in Feb. At the mo she is still excited about things but i am prepared for that to change closer to the time, unfortunately she will also be leaving her dad behind so not sure how she will cope with that, but at the mo she is fine with it.

From what i hear on here it's great for the kids and she will make the friends again. I've recently moved my daughter to a new school as we moved in with my parents and she is the happiest she has ever been (still wants to go though).

Has she been on the kids section of PIA? You could maybe sit down with her and type a little message to other children. I'm sure Alicia would be more than happy to send a little message to her. If you would like that you could send me a PM and Alicia will respond.

Hope things get easier. Take care.

[Rachiegarlo]

Hi Vinder,

it is naturalto get cold feet when you are just about to do anything big and when there are other people involved it gets harder still as you feel you are directing their life. Your daughter may feel she is missing out on what all the others are doing as they are preparing for next yr, but she will probably feelsome excitement too at her new adventure, especially when she finishes school.

 

Your children will settle and make friends. For some it takes a little longer than others but most do. Malaysia is not so far away these days. About 8 hrs or so in a plane and not too pricey. Also time wise Malaysia is not too far behind us either so your daughter could talk to her friends on MSN if they set it up.

[Guest VINDER]

Thank you for the posts and thanks Emma for the thoughtful suggestion. Would definitely get her to drop a line to Alicia.

I guess, its just that she was so excited throughout the process coz we took her to Adelaide for a month in Dec.....and I have been so busy with everything else, that I thought she was coping well.

[Guest Django]

Seeing her so upset and having questions thrown to me such as " Do you think I will have friends there?", " How long would it take me to make new friends?"

 

 

Hi Vinder, yes she will and in a day.

 

Jack and Sophie started school here recently and had the same fears. At the end of the first day I asked them both if they had made any friends. Sophie said "I've made lots" and Jack's reply was "The whole class".

Just a week into them starting as we walked away from school on our way home lots of children were calling their goodbyes to them as they drove past.

Sophie now can't wait to go to school and sometimes gets depressed going home on a Friday as she knows she won't be going back for a couple of days. Not sure if this means she loves school or says something about our homelife.

 

Pete

[Guest VINDER]

Thanks Pete. It is so good to hear something positive and to know that "this too will pass....":)

[Guest Jo&Phil]

Hi Vinder

You have had lots of lovely replies already with thoughtful and kind offers of support. I was particulary touched by the kindness of of one little girl to offer to send a 'hello and welcome" greeting to your own daughter .

 

I was in your position about 6 years ago ....... the should I or shouldn't I decions were upper most in my mind. I would just say that planes fly in both directions ........ moving to a foreign country is an adventure and a new experience; for many of us it is a successful venture and we discover a new home that we feel part of and don't want to leave. If in the voyage of discover you find that the experience has been interesting but Malaysia is the place for you, then I think you've lost little but some time but benefited in finding out what is essential to you and your family.

Come ........ see if you like it ...... see if it meets your own personal needs and if it doesn't and you return home then you and your family have still gained huge benefit and experience in living in a different environment.

I believe no experience (or barely none) are without value ....... so go for it!

Good luck and see you when you get here

JO

[carryon]

Hi Vinder, my daughter is 8 and her friends in the UK she had known litarally since birth, she was a little upset about not seeing them again, we said she could ring them from Aus to speak, which seemed to help!! Now 5 months on she has more friends round and is out more, has numerous sleepovers, more than she ever did in England, friends will come, from school, from your street etc...and as for ringing her friends in UK....Well i think she rang one.....out of sight and all that!

Hope it goes well for you all, but i'm sure most kids just get stuck in, my daughter joined cubs the first week here and really enjoys it! But no easy answer really.

Best of luck.

 

Simon

[Guest VINDER]

Hello again,

Just realised how wonderful everyone on PIA is and in case I have forgotten, a big thank you to Emma and Alicia . Told Myrna ( my 7 year old ) this morning when we off to school and she was so excited about sending a message out and to make friends...Im sure Alicia will be receiving one soon...

I guess the words of support and comfort especially when we are starting new is a big relief....

As someone said to me today." No one needs to reply to your post but seeing that people did, it sure does show that there are loads of support and warmth around":wubclub:

[Guest ems]

Hi Vinder.

If theres one thing thats made the whole process a lot easier for me its the support you can get from PIA. When i started this whole process i was going with the belief that i wouldn't know anyone. Since i've joined PIA its been a real eye opener seeing how supportive and friendly people really are. I certainly don't feel like i'm going it alone now.

Alicia is looking forward to hearing from Myrna, if she doesn't hear straight back from Alicia it will be because i'm at work but i'm on here most days. Take care.x

[antlet]

It is only natural for your daughter to be feeling the pressure of the unknown - it is scary! we are adults and feeling the same way at present. Our container left last weekend and we leave in 2. Suddenly, all the reasons for leaving here don't seem significant anymore and all the crap here is no longer crap!!:arghh:moving to Oz seems a stupiud idea! but.......... even if that turns out to be the case, someone said in an earlier post here that planes go in each direction, no experience is worthless. We have got to the point of no return and have to now make the move. I am sure in a few weeks we will revisit all the reasons for moving and it will be a positive feeling again, then perhaps yo-yo for a while again. I guess no one knows what the future holds, but you can't make a mistake trying, a mistake is not to try at all!! malaysia (Ireland in our case) will always be there.........

 

 

There you go, I'm feeling positive again now!!

[Guest VINDER]

Thanks and I agree that saying it ( or in this case writing about it ) really helps and it makes you feel good. Somehow, deep down inside I know we, as a family, are doing the right thing. Neway, reading about the experinces of other members; who are already Adelaide; always helps in a lot of ways.

Right now been thinking about how long it would take for our shipment to reach adelaide...from some of the posts I have read it takes 13 weeks or so. I ownder how long it will take from M'sia. Our shipment is out by the 5 th of Dec, with Christmas and New Year, I wonder if we can get it by the 15th of jan 2009:arghh:

[Guest pommy1]

Hi Vinder

 

When we came out in 1992, our three girls were 7,6,4 i like you was very worryed how they would cope starting a new school, would they make friends? I remember taking the two eldest to school on there first day and comming home and waiting by the phone incase the school rang because they were upset, the call never came, i went to pick them up and both came running out telling me what a great day they had and what thier friends names were, infact the kids in the class were more interested in my girls lives in UK, asking them question like "have you seen snow'? Kids make friends very quickly, my girls picked up Aussie accent really fast and became just like every other kid in the school. We made the whole move an adventure for them.

 

Its only human to worry about our children, but they will settle down if you do.

 

Sue

My eldest daughter still writes to her friend in the UK.

[Guest VINDER]

Hello,

 

Thanks for sharing your experience. Its always nice and helpful to know that others have gone through this same road and have survived...