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pete that's great! all you can hope for :) - the support makes it so much easier!
tiger fan: all the info you want to share really ;) - and i agree: i rather try and fail! (although i doubt that very much in this case ... )
We had great 'fun' telling the families - Neils all practically burst into tears, his mum now won't talk about it. Both sets of parents have tried getting at the children, they told Holly that she won't see them much, at which - with the honesty of a 6 year old - she replied to one of them - "I don't care because I'll have a pool in Australia and love swimming more than you". If only the ground could've opened up for me at that moment! Kids - we do tell them to tell the truth. She will care, she just doesn't understand and thats fine for us for now.
My parents wanted to go to Oz when I was 5 but was stopped by guilt trips from their parents, when they start on about not wanting us to go I just remind them of that!
The families are worried about not seeing the grandchildren, but although they are all upset about it, they have also said that they do not blame us as there is no future here for the children. We know saying goodbye will be hard, but we are staying focused on why we are doing it.
as far as the grandchildren thing goes we're coming at it from the opposite direction,our eldest son has a 4 year old step-daughter and a 3 month old daughter and we're leaving them behind. not an easy thing to do but we reckon we've spent the last 20 odd years bringing our kids up to stand on their own two feet and now its time for us to live for us a bit more. the world gets smaller every day what with e-mail and web cams etc. at the end of the day we're only 24 hours away and my OH has spent that on a coach to france for a rugby game before now!!!!!!!
We're lucky - we have had total support from Gra's family and my dad (mum died 2000). The only anti's are my sisters - Jenn (31) whenever she spends time with Holly and Owen she tells them all about the "BIG killer spiders" and the "child eating crocs" waiting to greet them in Oz!!!!! It hasn't disuaded the kids though as we've left no stone unturned with them and Gra has shown all insect/animals with big teeth probs to them on the net!
We agree with the saying that you'll always regret the things you've never done.....so it's what we are all doing for OUR families that count. After all, they've lived their lives, now it's our go.
Right thats it
Posted the other day and tryed to be understanding of perental frustrations.Today however after having spent the afternoon with my parents I have come to a new conclusion S.D THEM do whats right for u.At least u will b away from the hyper critical selfish 2 faced bunch of .................. or is that just mine?
They keep going on about family so we said a while ago before we left we would have a week at my brothers in the summer see London and spend some time with him. Only now months lator do they admit that not only dosent he want 2 see us ( last saw him in nov for my mums 60th that I aranged and he tryed to get out of) but they dont think its appropriate either!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. coupled with that my dad spent the whole time b1.ching about my house and the way we live our life When I pointed out that I didnt go into his house and critisise him he said thats becaus its ok for a dad to critisize his daughter but not the other way round.I could scream.
My gran,bess her, who dosent yet know about the move sat their and agreed that it wouldnt do for us all to be the same.
So in my current mood familys sod them let them stew in their own juices
We have some friends that always seem to only want to comment on negative thoughts but on the whole it just goes in one ear and out the other ( nothing in between to stop it!)
I think these comments are more out of jealousy as we want to make something better for our family and are not afraid to get out the rat race and some people seem to resent us having the guts to do it! It is just funny how the ones with negative comments are the ones thinking and saying how they will come to visit(cheap holidays!)
Ian, Rachel, Harry 16 & Georgia 13
Arrived in Adelaide 14th June 2008
We've been on about moving for years and have had fairly good reactions from our families. To be fair they have all been quite supportive although I think my mum is just saying what she thinks we want to hear.
We have not lived near our familes for years as Steve left home at 16 to join the Royal Marines and I left home at 20 to marry him!!
What makes our situation a bit different is that my brother (also a Royal Marine & not lived near family for 20yrs) is planning on moving to the USA when he leaves the Marines, and they, like us have a child, so we are both taking the Grandchildren away!!
Its only really my sister who gets on her high horse about it, but I think thats because she knows she'll be left to look after the folks when they are old, wrinkly and incontinent!! Oh well thems the breaks!!
The funny thing is that we only see them for a few days a couple of times a year at present but when we move out there dad is planning on getting one of those round the world flights and spending a couple of months with us and then a couple of months with my brother in the US. So in point of fact we'll see them more than we do living here!!!
There are so many ways to keep in touch with people now, skype & msn etc, to name a few, so its not like you are moving to a place where there is no communication!
I hope your family come round to the idea, but just do what is best for you guys and it will all work out in the end!
wow, what a response!
i come to the conclusion that they all are basically 'envious' that we 'have the guts' (as someone mentioned ;)) - to actually go for it!!
my sister called me earlier and she's come around now - got used to the idea i guess! (and her husband is all for it!! - planning a visit already lol)
and she admitted that she just doesn't understand how i can do it. she is so rooted down where she is, and is not too bothered with travelling around.
yeah right, we love travelling and meeting new people and seeing new countries - so i guess that's the difference :)
We had similar issues with my mum who is a widow - and is in her mid 70's.
Just over 12 months since we told her she has got used to the idea and is now planning her visit next March/April (we don't even get to Adelaide until the beginning of October!)
I think the main problem is it hurts that we are doing something so different and although you may not see them too often (my mum lives 400 miles away and we see her twice a year) they see it as a huge move and it takes them out of their comfort zone.
Give them time, hopefully they will see the reasons why you are doing it and come round. But be prepared for the subtle digs and tears on the way