whyyyyyyyy?!?!

[Guest mOZzy]

family

 

we've finally sent our tra off yesterday (agent confirmed receipt today 'woheyy') - so i thought - especially since we are getting married friday in a week - i let my family know about our oz plans! - i am already 'abroad' for them (they are in austria) so i didn't think it'll be a big thing really. but it might be the last time for a long time they get to see us.

 

oh boy - i so regret having done it! my sister replied straight away that she was crying and calling everyone. my mum didn't say anything for days untill i had to ask her something in regards to the wedding (they are all coming btw) -and yep, i got to 'hear' (read) everything: how could i?!?! basically ... - my dad hasn't replied at all. my brother is cool about it - he asked for a place to stay already!

 

BUT in the 6 years i am here in the uk only my younger sister came once and my mum twice - all the rest we went to see them .. every year! no holiday at all going there, only stress!

 

sorry for the rant - rant over!

 

but i had to get it off or i'd have another sleepless night!!!

[Guest Vicks&Stu]

When i told my sister she was really upset, but you have to do what is right for you. they will cry but they can have a cheap holiday is what i always say!

[Guest mOZzy]

oh we will do it! but why do they still try and give you a guilty feeling (if you know what i mean) - i mean, i get an email maybe once a month?!?! if that ...

 

yep, that's what i told them too. there will be a guestroom at our 'new' house

 

hope your sister's come around by now?!

[Angela]

Unfortunately many experience similar emotions throughout the process. Ashley my OH is an only child & his father can bearly talk about it.

We move in with the 'out-laws' in just over 1 weeks time & we are both dreading it.

 

Ideally it should be quality time for us all with the kids etc but I feel its going to be a lot of hard work.

 

Good luck

Angela

[likesshopping]

ARGGHHHHHH!! Family!!

 

Know how you must be feeling suzi, we too have had a few 'family' issues. Sometimes, I think, I'll just be glad to get away from them all ( but we dont live near them now either, so probably be the same!?)

 

...and breathe...1..2..3..4..5......

 

sarahx

[Guest dglamoore]

Been on forums for about a year now and seen similar stories before - my mum would not even mention it and everytime we did they changed the subject now she knows it is easy to keep in touch I think she actually enjoys bragging that her daughter lives in OZ now

 

Good luck with it all and stick with your dreams - they will come round once they know it is what is right for you

 

Lisa:cool:

[Guest ali@51]

Familys are funny things:mad:. When we told our out laws my mother-in-law said she wouldnt come to see us ( every cloud has a silver lineing) and now refuses to talk about it my F-I-L now keeps saying how dreadful it is that we are taking his only grandson away from him when he had all these plans Joey is 5 funny we havent also heard about these plans befor now I also have 2 daughters but he aint bothererd about them as he has another 1 closer 2 . MY dads ignoring it when he can and when he cant he just tells us its not us hes going to miss just the kids . my mum keeps coming up with reasons why we should stay.My brother

keeps telling us we are stupid . morgans brother and sister however want to come visit and think its great.

Tough we have to do whats best for our family I can understand people having this reaction imideatly but after that I think it is because they are thinking ( quite understandable to a certain extent) of themselves and not what is best for you and yours.

 

Good luck with the wedding and the family

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest mOZzy]

thanks guys

 

i know you are right - they are more scared of what it might do to them!

agreed my mum is rather ill and when i moved to the uk she was against it too (of course!) - and said she'd never visit me! she came here twice (she's absolutly scared of flying!)

i know it's a big difference going to oz but who knows .... if her illness allows it she might actually enjoy it!

 

besides that as you said everyone is more concerenced about the grandchildren!

and at the end of the day we are doing it for them, right?!

just a little bit for us of course (who wouldn't want sun sea wine and barbies all the time )

[Guest Django]

Funny how it works out. I was dreading telling my parents but they were really cool about it. Tracy's mum if she could would move out with us. Haven't heard from one of my sisters yet. My other sister I haven't seen or spoken to for years so I won't even bother telling her. She has never met Tracey or any of our children so I doubt whether she cares one way or the other.

The only bit of friction was from Tracey's brother and his wife when they first heard. They were up a few weekends ago and seemed ok with it now, though it was hardly mentioned.

 

Pete

[Guest tiger fan]

Isnt it funny how families react? My mother in law said we should grab the opportunity and do whats right for us.( now she's talking about sailing out and spending 6 months of the year with us!!!!) my sister's first reaction was that she would never see me again cos she wouldnt fly for that long. she then decided that we would probably go for a nice long holiday and then come back!!!!! Everyone else seems really envious but i just think that if we dont at least try it we'll never know and its better to regret the things you've done than the things you havent!!:confused:Does that make sense to anyone else i wonder? i think the only thing we will regret is not doing it sooner since 2 of our children are now not coming with us but will hopefully apply for their own visas shortly. Sorry if this is too long, i'm a new member and not sure how much info people want!!!!!

[Guest Django]

its better to regret the things you've done than the things you havent!!:confused:Does that make sense to anyone else i wonder?

 

Makes perfect sense to me. ;)My thoughts exactly.

 

Sorry if this is too long, i'm a new member and not sure how much info people want!!!!!

 

How much info you got? Its good to see other peoples views and situations. Others can learn from them and compare with their own situation. They can then change what they are doing hopefully for the better. Yes everyone is in a slightly different boat and not all applies but every little helps.

 

Pete

[Guest mOZzy]

pete that's great! all you can hope for - the support makes it so much easier!

 

tiger fan: all the info you want to share really - and i agree: i rather try and fail! (although i doubt that very much in this case ... )

[Guest Aussiebound]

We had great 'fun' telling the families - Neils all practically burst into tears, his mum now won't talk about it. Both sets of parents have tried getting at the children, they told Holly that she won't see them much, at which - with the honesty of a 6 year old - she replied to one of them - "I don't care because I'll have a pool in Australia and love swimming more than you". If only the ground could've opened up for me at that moment! Kids - we do tell them to tell the truth. She will care, she just doesn't understand and thats fine for us for now.

 

My parents wanted to go to Oz when I was 5 but was stopped by guilt trips from their parents, when they start on about not wanting us to go I just remind them of that!

 

The families are worried about not seeing the grandchildren, but although they are all upset about it, they have also said that they do not blame us as there is no future here for the children. We know saying goodbye will be hard, but we are staying focused on why we are doing it.

[Guest tiger fan]

as far as the grandchildren thing goes we're coming at it from the opposite direction,our eldest son has a 4 year old step-daughter and a 3 month old daughter and we're leaving them behind. not an easy thing to do but we reckon we've spent the last 20 odd years bringing our kids up to stand on their own two feet and now its time for us to live for us a bit more. the world gets smaller every day what with e-mail and web cams etc. at the end of the day we're only 24 hours away and my OH has spent that on a coach to france for a rugby game before now!!!!!!!

[Guest graandjac]

We're lucky - we have had total support from Gra's family and my dad (mum died 2000). The only anti's are my sisters - Jenn (31) whenever she spends time with Holly and Owen she tells them all about the "BIG killer spiders" and the "child eating crocs" waiting to greet them in Oz!!!!! It hasn't disuaded the kids though as we've left no stone unturned with them and Gra has shown all insect/animals with big teeth probs to them on the net!

 

We agree with the saying that you'll always regret the things you've never done.....so it's what we are all doing for OUR families that count. After all, they've lived their lives, now it's our go.

[Guest ali@51]

Right thats it

 

Posted the other day and tryed to be understanding of perental frustrations.Today however after having spent the afternoon with my parents I have come to a new conclusion S.D THEM do whats right for u.At least u will b away from the hyper critical selfish 2 faced bunch of .................. or is that just mine?

 

They keep going on about family so we said a while ago before we left we would have a week at my brothers in the summer see London and spend some time with him. Only now months lator do they admit that not only dosent he want 2 see us ( last saw him in nov for my mums 60th that I aranged and he tryed to get out of) but they dont think its appropriate either!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. coupled with that my dad spent the whole time b1.ching about my house and the way we live our life When I pointed out that I didnt go into his house and critisise him he said thats becaus its ok for a dad to critisize his daughter but not the other way round.I could scream.

My gran,bess her, who dosent yet know about the move sat their and agreed that it wouldnt do for us all to be the same.

So in my current mood familys sod them let them stew in their own juices

 

 

 

 

 

 

[ianb]

family

 

we've finally sent our tra off yesterday (agent confirmed receipt today 'woheyy') - so i thought - especially since we are getting married friday in a week - i let my family know about our oz plans! - i am already 'abroad' for them (they are in austria) so i didn't think it'll be a big thing really. but it might be the last time for a long time they get to see us.

 

oh boy - i so regret having done it! my sister replied straight away that she was crying and calling everyone. my mum didn't say anything for days untill i had to ask her something in regards to the wedding (they are all coming btw) -and yep, i got to 'hear' (read) everything: how could i?!?! basically ... - my dad hasn't replied at all. my brother is cool about it - he asked for a place to stay already!

 

BUT in the 6 years i am here in the uk only my younger sister came once and my mum twice - all the rest we went to see them .. every year! no holiday at all going there, only stress!

 

sorry for the rant - rant over!

 

but i had to get it off or i'd have another sleepless night!!!

 

Both our families have said how much they will miss us and the kids but luckily on the whole we have not had to much anti-move feelings from our direct familes as they can see why we want to do it for us as they see that life here is getting harder.

 

We have some friends that always seem to only want to comment on negative thoughts but on the whole it just goes in one ear and out the other ( nothing in between to stop it!)

I think these comments are more out of jealousy as we want to make something better for our family and are not afraid to get out the rat race and some people seem to resent us having the guts to do it! It is just funny how the ones with negative comments are the ones thinking and saying how they will come to visit(cheap holidays!)

[Guest theshearers]

We've been on about moving for years and have had fairly good reactions from our families. To be fair they have all been quite supportive although I think my mum is just saying what she thinks we want to hear.

 

We have not lived near our familes for years as Steve left home at 16 to join the Royal Marines and I left home at 20 to marry him!!

 

What makes our situation a bit different is that my brother (also a Royal Marine & not lived near family for 20yrs) is planning on moving to the USA when he leaves the Marines, and they, like us have a child, so we are both taking the Grandchildren away!!

 

Its only really my sister who gets on her high horse about it, but I think thats because she knows she'll be left to look after the folks when they are old, wrinkly and incontinent!! Oh well thems the breaks!!

 

The funny thing is that we only see them for a few days a couple of times a year at present but when we move out there dad is planning on getting one of those round the world flights and spending a couple of months with us and then a couple of months with my brother in the US. So in point of fact we'll see them more than we do living here!!!

 

There are so many ways to keep in touch with people now, skype & msn etc, to name a few, so its not like you are moving to a place where there is no communication!

 

I hope your family come round to the idea, but just do what is best for you guys and it will all work out in the end!

 

Vicki x

[Guest mOZzy]

wow, what a response!

 

i come to the conclusion that they all are basically 'envious' that we 'have the guts' (as someone mentioned ) - to actually go for it!!

 

my sister called me earlier and she's come around now - got used to the idea i guess! (and her husband is all for it!! - planning a visit already lol)

and she admitted that she just doesn't understand how i can do it. she is so rooted down where she is, and is not too bothered with travelling around.

 

yeah right, we love travelling and meeting new people and seeing new countries - so i guess that's the difference

[Lea]

Hi

 

We had similar issues with my mum who is a widow - and is in her mid 70's.

Just over 12 months since we told her she has got used to the idea and is now planning her visit next March/April (we don't even get to Adelaide until the beginning of October!)

 

I think the main problem is it hurts that we are doing something so different and although you may not see them too often (my mum lives 400 miles away and we see her twice a year) they see it as a huge move and it takes them out of their comfort zone.

 

Give them time, hopefully they will see the reasons why you are doing it and come round. But be prepared for the subtle digs and tears on the way

 

Lea