To stay in Uk or head to Australia?

[Guest vikkiann]

Hi guys, i've not been on here for a while but i'm hoping that maybe just maybe somebody can help me or at least give some words of wisdom...........

 

Our visa was granted August 2008, my hubby is a plumber.

We activated our visa in November 2008 and at the time i fell in love with Christies Beach.

However, when we returned to the Uk and that flight was bloody awful with 4 kids who were 1, 2, 6 and 10 i suddenly thought i can't do this. Our house still hasn't sold, we dropped the price but then i thought no i can't drop it anymore and have taken it off of the market.

Adelaide didn't win me over and i think the fact that my sister was pregnant with her 1st child made it worse but she had my gorgeous niece 7 weeks early and i'm very proud to say i was at the birth and now i'm thinking i'm ready to go and try a new life in Australia.

 

I don't really know what advice i'm after but is it normal to feel like this and to be so unsure?

It cost us a fortune to get to this stage and i don't want to live my life thinking what if and i'd rather give it a go but then the sensible side of me is thinking is this the right thing for our children. I know that plumbers have been taken off of the list but are there plumbing jobs still out there?

 

Can anybody advise me, i don't want to talk to my hubby cos he loves Australia and would go tomorrow if i'd say yes.

 

Any replies would be greatly appreciated

 

Vikki

[Guest coral]

hi vikkiann i think you should give it a go cause if you dont you mite regret it we are going to start our visa pros soon i cant wait to get there so good look

[Guest natdan]

Hi vickiann,

we are completely in the same position and in the same frame of mind.,

visas granted [ PR ] and activated , have been twice , 1st time loved it , 2nd time loved it but the the unsure vibes kicked in . House still on the market , but unsure whether we want it to sell , best friends live in adelaide and are hoping we are there soon , but we feel so mixed up , with the you will never know , give it a go brigade . We have quite a good life here but we have spent so much with the visas etc and the 2 trips but do not want to go and then come back if you know what i mean.

We also are feeling and hearing different experiences coming out of adelaide , and the cost of living and house prices etc have risen considerably over the last couple of years,

DO not really know what will happen only you and me can decide with our choices .,its so hard.

Good luck

 

Louise .

[Guest Django]

My thoughts are regret the things in life that you do not the things you don't. As said above in 20 years time you will then have the 'what ifs'.

For us the whole experience has been well worth it. It has been the making of our eldest. He took 12 months to even pluck up the coursge to speak to his teacher in England. Here he stands up in front of his class and talks openly about things.

As a family we have been able to do (and have done) more as a family since we have been here than we did in total in the UK. In the UK we couldn't afford to go places or we were beaten by the weather. Here, its a totally different story.

 

I know it doesn't work out for everyone but it has for us. Unless you get on that plane again you will never know whether it will for you. What airline did you travel with? We flew with Singapore and the whole experience was stress free and relaxed. This was with our 4 children aged 7, 5, 2 & 1.

 

Good luck

 

Pete

[Anne B]

Hi Vikiann,

 

Sorry to hear that you are having a huge dilemma. The current economic situation is making people think long and hard about what they are doing. Why did you want to move to Australia in the first place? Do those reasons still hold true? Had you been to Australia before? Were you disappointed when you went? What did your kids think of it - did they love it or were they not sure? Lots of questions I know but I think sometimes the whole process takes up so much energy and stress that you can lose sight of why you are doing it. Or because you have invested so much time and energy in it you would feel a failure to admit that you don't want to go through with it anymore.

 

On the practical side you have at least activated your visas so in some respects the pressure is off for a while. Maybe give it a few months and see how you feel then. However for the sake of your kids (the older ones) then the sooner you go to Adelaide the better, as everyone says they find it harder to settle the older they are. We want to be there before our oldest starts secondary school in the UK.

 

Imagine that the decision wasn't up to you but was to be decided on the toss of a coin. Heads you go, tails you stay. Imagine how you would feel on each outcome. Does it get you any closer to knowing what you really want? Would you be disappointed at having to stay in the UK or relieved? Would you be excited about moving to Australia or suicidal?!!

 

On Wanted Down Under there were some families who decided to stay in the UK, but made big changes to their lives here so that they could achieve some of the things they wanted in life without having to move to the other side of the world. Is that an option for you? If you genuinely didn't like Adelaide could you go to another part of Australia?

 

The problem is that it is not easy to change jobs or move house or anything given the current dire economic situation. You do have a chance to go that may not be open to you in the future so maybe you should grab it now and give it a go.

 

It's not an easy decision and no-one can make it for you. Good luck!

[Guest natdan]

My thoughts are regret the things in life that you do not the things you don't. As said above in 20 years time you will then have the 'what ifs'.

For us the whole experience has been well worth it. It has been the making of our eldest. He took 12 months to even pluck up the coursge to speak to his teacher in England. Here he stands up in front of his class and talks openly about things.

As a family we have been able to do (and have done) more as a family since we have been here than we did in total in the UK. In the UK we couldn't afford to go places or we were beaten by the weather. Here, its a totally different story.

 

I know it doesn't work out for everyone but it has for us. Unless you get on that plane again you will never know whether it will for you. What airline did you travel with? We flew with Singapore and the whole experience was stress free and relaxed. This was with our 4 children aged 7, 5, 2 & 1.

 

Good luck

 

Pete

 

Hi Pete,

We flew with malaysian [not bad ] 1st time, but with singapore at xmas on the a380, what a plane and airline [ would definately recommend ] really made that long flight more enjoyable.

We Do love adelaide so much and miss our best friends so much [ there so settled and happy ] but we feel like we have missed the boat . We should of done it years ago when the children were younger , are eldest as decided to stay in the uk [ 19 ] and the 11 year old is also now against it , we dont feel as though we could split the family up, it wouldnt be fair.

We also had the experience at xmas of our friends losing one of there parents and having to rush back to the uk for the funeral and everyting , its so far away in an emergency and it was so upsetting and stressful seeing someone isolated and so far away from family , when they needed them most.

We also feel that adelaide as become more expensive than when we first visited in 2006 , and with what as happened here in the uk , with falling house prices etc , it makes the move even more difficult for people .And also the thought of maybe having to take a step back in the career / job market , and to start from scratch.

We think about what are lives could be like over there everyday , but feel it is not just right at the moment.

We have met and spoke to so many people on this site , they have been so helpful and informative.

We wish GOOD LUCK to all on the way over and also good luck to all with visa applications , and many happy days to you all , already there , you live in a wonderful place..........

Heres too wishing .

 

Louise.

[Guest DianeJ]

I am glad we did not do a reccie first and just came over a week before our visa date. Sometimes

thinking about it too much can make matters worse, your first instinct sometimes is the one to go with. We are here now and just getting on with life.

I was determined not to be in holiday mode off the plane and I haven't been. Just got on with things

in a place that has better weather and more to offer. Yes I do find some things more expensive in the supermarkets but I have found the discount shops now and that helps.

Just can't wait for our stuff to arrive as the girls miss their things, but other than that we have no complaints so far.

 

Di

[Guest Django]

we feel like we have missed the boat . We should of done it years ago when the children were younger , are eldest as decided to stay in the uk [ 19 ] and the 11 year old is also now against it , we dont feel as though we could split the family up, it wouldnt be fair.

 

My eldest 2 (15 & 17) still live in the UK The 17 year old has her own life to lead. She found herself a job and moved out of her mother's house. Distance does make it hard but they have their friends and own life. Of course I miss them like crazy but knew that would be the case when I started the process. Sadly for you it appears you found this out afterwards and so it does make you reassess the move and that will always leave doubts.

 

 

We also feel that adelaide as become more expensive than when we first visited in 2006 , and with what as happened here in the uk , with falling house prices etc , it makes the move even more difficult for people .And also the thought of maybe having to take a step back in the career / job market , and to start from scratch.

 

The choice is about lifestyle versus career. Few people can come here and carry on their jobs where they left off in the UK. For us spending more time as a family in better weather was far more important than status at work. I have always worked to live rather than live to work. I've no doubt Adelaide is more expensive than it was a few years ago. However, we have found it is still cheaper to live here than the UK.

 

I feel from reading your post Louise is that the main issue would be missing family and friends back in the UK, not to mention your eldest. Only you will be able to decide whether or not you can live, like I do, missing close family friends. Children especially.

 

Good luck to you all

 

pete

[Guest stufi1997]

[We also had the experience at xmas of our friends losing one of there parents and having to rush back to the uk for the funeral and everyting , its so far away in an emergency and it was so upsetting and stressful seeing someone isolated and so far away from family , when they needed them most.]

 

A bit off track, but I thought I might add this for those of us who worry about this scenario, I think it's pretty inexpensive www.kinsure.co.uk it's an insurance policy you can take out to cover the costs of going back to the UK in the case of an emergency.

 

We too left the UK without our 19 year old, she followed a month later though, and now wants to make Australia her home!!!

 

Good luck in whatever you decide to do. Fiona xx

[Rachiegarlo]

Only you can decide. It is very natural to get cold feet, it is a massive step in anyone's life.

[Guest Chelseadownunder]

This is a difficult one. You may want to do that old thing where you list the pros and cons. I think it is normal to have the emotional rollacoaster. One day your positive and the next your unsure. I know things your not sure about could get amplified when your here. For us here weve started making our lives here and are generally positive, but this is your life. I personally am so happy now. Our list of negatives for the UK was massive and the pros were mainly just family. Good luck either way with what you decide.

Scott UK

Financial Adviser

[Rachiegarlo]

It is a very hard decision and one that my mother had to make. Here's the story....

Back in 1977 we were all supposed to move to Adelaide. My father came ahead in Feb to start his job with one of my sisters and one of my brothers. The rest of us were to follow when the house had been sold and the older ones had finished their A levels and O levels in June. My father ended up having a nervous breakdown and sent letters back to my mum saying don't come etc. By this time we were committed though. My mother was very worried and rather than take the older ones out of school when they were close to finishing to a maybe disaster she arranged for them to stay with my aunt to finish school, take further exams etc. It was the hardest thing she has ever had to do to sign the form that stated they would be giving up their right to emigrate.

 

My mum and I however left in September sailing the high seas and arrived in the October. Things were not as bad as my father had made out, he just found it difficult to cope here without her support. he did though within the first year try to commit suicide. Anyways things settled. The brother and sis who were here finished school two years later. My sister went back to England to Art school. My brother lived here for many years got Aus citizenship, met a Danish girl backpacking here, married her and moved to Denmark.

 

All of the three who stayed in England came for a holiday or working visa. They returned to Uk. The oldest got a job here in SA and emigrated. My sister emigrated after university in her own right and my remaining brother we got in by him being the last remaining member. The sister who went to Art school in England returned and has lived in Australia ever since.

Today only one sister, my mother and I live in Aus. My father died bout 14 yrs ago and my brother recently. The others live in Saudi, Denmark and England. All have aus citizenship but have moved for work.

When my brother got sick last year with cancer all my siblings were able to come and be with him before he died. They know when the call comes you just get on a plane and keep upto date passports. This was decided when my father died suddenly and some of them hadn't seen him for quite a few years.

 

If we had stayed in England, each brother and sister would have gone away to uni and followed where work took them anyway. Who knows if my parents would have stayed together? But 30 years down the track we would with surety be leading our lives and there is no guarentee that life will follow a path you think it will anyway. You have to live your life, your kids will surely live theirs and may move away from you anyway.

Friend of mine says her mother actually sees more of her grandchildren here than the ones in the Uk cos she comes for blocks of weeks at a time. Her Gkids in UK she sees sporadically, cos life gets busy and sometimes doesn't leave time for visiting gparents what with work and other commitments.

 

Only you can decide. It is very natural to get cold feet, it is a massive step in anyone's life.

For me with my kids approaching end of teens, i know they may have to move from here to follow their work, but hey I've been used to living globally for a while, the other side of the world is a day away.