billy connolly's take on the glasgow attack

[csobrien1966]

Billy Connolly's take on the terrorists hitting

Glasgow...

 

 

"Good old Glasgow. If I had to pick a city in the

world where I could depend on one of the locals to

kick a man who was on fire, it would always be

Glasgow. That really had to hurt - 90% burns and sore

b0llocks...

 

 

I think we should get a photo of that guy KICKING A

FLAMING MAN, blow it up and make it the welcome sign

at Glasgow Airport. Underneath we should have the

words 'Glasgow Welcomes Careful Drivers'...

 

 

I love the naivety of al-Qaeda. For trying to bring a

religious war to Glasgow. You're 400 years too late

guys!! You've not even got a Football Team for Christ's

sake... I think that we should give Partick Thistle to

al-Qaeda. If only for the joy of hearing them read out

their team sheet on Saturday...

 

 

The Sun last week urged us all to respond to the

attack by flying the Union Jack. Really, in Glasgow

that's never been a great way of getting your

insurance premiums down...

 

 

If we play this whole terrorism thing right, we could

get al-Qaeda to blow up some of Scotland's eyesores. I

think we should definitely start putting signs up

round Shettleston's high flats that say 'Financial

Quarter'...

 

 

For a while, confusion reigned at Glasgow airport. Was

it a terrorist attack or just Richard Hammond turning

up late for check-in?

 

 

People say it was lucky they didn't crash into a fuel

container. I say it's lucky they didn't hit the queue

coming out of Duty Free - the whole place would have

gone up like Hiroshima...

 

 

The best bit is being told that hundreds of people

were saved from being hideously burnt...these were

Scottish people flying to Spain! They'll come back

looking like they've been bungee jumping off the lip

of a volcano!"

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