Ours was pretty dysfunstional before we left, and certainly the contact has become more and more one-way, often with no response (not to mention our kids birthdays :( )
my sister emailed me last xmas saying she did not care if we never spoke again and that she thought i was disloyal to my parents i cried for a week and have never spoken with her since. i am here to make a better life for my 4 boys (men really 17 - 28) her son has not worked in uk for 12 months mine have all been employed and have afforded visits back to uk she is selfish and jealous and really thinks i am here on a long holiday, truth is we are all working hard for our futures and our childrens future
I am shocked and stunned by some of your experiences - how very sad. I admit I too have been disappointed by some friends not keeping in touch but then I haven't been the best at that either. For me the hardest thing is trying to encourage my mother to visit us as she will not commit to making the journey and changes the subject every time I try to discuss it with her. I still have very strong feelings of guilt for leaving family back in the UK, although they all supported us thankfully but still those complicated emotions are there none the less. I'm not sure I'll ever come to terms with leaving them behind particularly as they age and become more needy but I have to believe them when they say we made the right decision and they wish us all the best.
I am an only child so do not have any experiences of siblings being so unkind. For those of you enduring the difficulties of sibling jealousy, grief or ignorance I hope things work themselves for you soon. In the meantime all we can all do is live the life we have chosen for ourselves and our beautiful precious children and try to settle the best we can. I have spent so much time worrying about my mother's future, that I haven't been present to my new life and all the benefits. It is reassuring to know that I'm not alone when it comes to stressing out about the ties back 'home'.
Im in the club too - my older bro didnt talk to me for months, i now get an occasional text in reply to when i text him, he wont talk to my mum cos shes moving over here - she was there for 2 weeks in august and despite trying to get to see him he waited til 2days before she returned to see her and then it was at my nephews grave.
you situation is exactly the same as mine!, except they never used to bother when i was in uk either!!
only difference is i'm not upset any more, families eh? stel
You have done nothing wrong!!! I have the very same issues with my sister, who say s I have stolen her dream and her life by bringing my family here!
She can be very hurtful but thinks the only one who is hurting her is me.My dad says she is grieving and has taken our leaving very badly (and has done since the day we told her 2 years ago!)
Despite this she has even been out here for a few weeks and did nothing but complain and put it and me down. I have decided to let her get on with her guilt trip in the UK while I continue to have a ball here in Adelaide in the hope she will eventually get over herself and wind her neck in!!!
The green eyed monster is a vicious and cruel hound that almost always rears its ugly head in circumstances like ours, whether it is family or friends.
Keep strong and keep smiling and reminding yourself why we came to this wonderful place in the first place and hopefully those we left behind will come to terms with lifes dealings and make the most of theirs.
Guys we moved (all of us) 10500 miles away. It was our choice for what ever reasons. We are lucky my mom has just gone back to the UK and Lou's parents have been over twice so far and we could not ask for more.
As for other family and "those friemds" its shocking. it's amazing how many get in touch asking how "EASY" it is to get to Aus, then once you tell them they suddenly give up with you.
I seriously think some of it is "out of sight out of mind", and some quite frankly is jealousy.
Sue i think thats a sham getting that info via email and making you feel terrible for days. a cheap shot, and very hurtfull.
Guys we moved, we made a selfish move for us and our own. Boy am i glad we did, our lifes are so much better here and if family and friends don't want to be a part of that then who really....... and i mean REALLY.... is getting the sticky end of the stick in the deal?
Parents not speaking are just applying the arm bar in my mind, trying to emotionally aply pressure to make you return..... what actually happens is that they loose contact not only with THEIR children but also their GRANDCHILDREN, fancy meeting someone in 15 years time and the kid asks "who is this?" how much will that kick them in the teeth ??????
Just my thoughts guys, but it really is pants when you do your best to open all channels of communication and people just refuse to go down them.
You are really quite profound Julia !!
Originally Posted by churchj1
My thoughts exactly, As I also have a sister who wont speak to me !!
Lyn from round the corner !!
My mum has MS i was so gutted to leave her all my life as long as i can remember my brother and sister were out and out selfish
Me met my now hubby at 14 walked the line and never walked off it worked supported my mum always and it took me to move to oz and build a better future for my children to for her to be able to say that she loved me and don't even get me statred on friends !!!!!!!!!
In life there are givers and takers and it has took me moving to oz to see that yes i am a giver and people will always take my sister inlaw we have never heard from in 9 months phones with some sob story about going on holiday and her wages hadn't cleared sent 300 pounds over internet not heard from her again in 5 months but this is life
Last edited by massive; 16-10-2009 at 09:35 PM.
Reason: not at angree this morning
Originally Posted by massive
Hugs for you all going thru such bad times at the moment, thankfully i have not had such issues with family and the like back in the Wetlands.
You will all get through it, sometimes it will sort itself out and sometimes you may just have to cut your losses for a while and leave those people who dnt want anything to do with you out of it altogether.
They may well come round after a while.
Carry on with your new lives out here and enjoy what you have got, cos believe me its alot better than what you left behind.
Thoughts with all of yous...