Crack a joke or say something to make me feel better

[Guest Libby1971]

I have had a **** day. It started ****, got seriously ****ter before lunch, more **** after lunch, less **** after that, and then more **** recently. In short I'm not feeling happy...

 

So cheer me up, say something witty, crack a joke, whatever please

[Guest caoimhe]

Would love to help but my 4 boys are giving me **** and driving me ******* ***** so I don't have much laughter left in me.

Maybe I could stick them on e-bay........buy 1 get 3 free:jiggy:

 

Sorry Libby, not much help am I????

To top it all off I can't find my ****** glasses so am sitting here wearing my O/H's...will look great in work tomorrow:GEEK:

[sueoc]

Bloke goes the doctors with a frog on his head."My God"says the Doctor,"How long have you had this problem"Started out as a boil on me arse "said the Frog.

[Guest the4hopes]

A man went into a fish and chip shop and ordered a piece of fish, the assistant said "It won't be long"

the man said "well make it fat then!":biglaugh::biglaugh:

[Guest Trakki]

When putting my deodorant on this morning, Niamh (3) asked me what it was for so I told her that it was so mummy wouldn't get smelly. To this she replied 'it doesn't work very well then does it???'

[coolerking]

I have had a **** day. It started ****, got seriously ****ter before lunch, more **** after lunch, less **** after that, and then more **** recently. In short I'm not feeling happy...

 

So cheer me up, say something witty, crack a joke, whatever please

 

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace prize.

 

 

Hope your day got better,

Cooler

[Guest thekings]

Gordon Brown has just had an arsehole transplant..............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

but it rejected him!

[Guest WoodMartin]

Bad jokes....

 

 

What do you have on your patio that is Irish? PATTY O'FURNITURE

 

What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a spider? A hairnet.

 

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

[Pesty650]

went to a cafe and ordered the Oasis soup. When asked what was in it, the waitress replied "I dunno, but you get a roll with it!" ;-)

[Guest Libby1971]

Things are still **** here but trying to work a way forward. We’ll get there. At least we’re smiling though.

Thanks guys these had me chuckling

:biglaugh:

[Lol63]

Two nuns sat in a bath, one says " wears the soap"? the other says "mmmmm it does doesn't it...

[robm]

This morning I was woken up by an ice cream van outside my house.

 

I opened my window and told him to f*** off.

 

He quickly changed his tune.