Found this on another site. Love it!
These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are
the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
Kendra that was pure geniusmade me laugh
hat was funny, I have always been worried about the Americans but some of thos comments confirm my fears!
Hi Graham and Jac, how is your applicvation going? We have been called for meds!!!
Kev & Mall Taylor
I think those are ace.
Reminds me of a conversation we had about 10 years ago with some americans it went somthing like this
Yank:- do you celebrate easter in england?
Us:- Yes we are a christian country we celebrate Easter
Y:- Well what about christmas?
U:- Yes we do christmas as well
Y:- What about thanks giving?
U:- No we dont do thanks giving that is where YOU give thanks for the safe arrival of the pilgrem farthers in america. It isnt a british celebration.
Y:- But surely you must celebrate Independence Day?
Proves my point!!!! I wonder what all the 'tru Ozzies' say about us Poms!!!!
Swampo- anything we like mate. But we'll have a beer with you & let you say stuff back!
Sounds the perfect colution to me, we are all for having a beer (hope it's OK over there) However, as I lived in Adelaide/Sydeny for the first 12 years of my life I think that may give me the edge on being able to say what I like to both parties! Brilliant.
Originally Posted by kendra