Kids - this is an MA post - if you can join the dots up.
Had to post this - sorry if anyone is offended,hope the asterisks work.................................................. .................................................. .......
Snow, Snow, Thick Thick Snow
It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first we've
seen for years. The wife and I took our hot toddies and sat on the porch
watching the fluffy snow flakes drift gently down clinging to the trees
and covering the ground. It's so beautiful and peaceful.
We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white glistening snow
covering as far as the eye could see. What a fantastic sight, every tree
and bush covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shovelled snow for the
first time ever and loved it. I did both our driveway and pavement.
Later that day a snowplough came along and accidentally covered up
our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and
waved. I waved back and shovelled it away again. The children next door
built a snowman with coal for eyes and a carrot for a nose, and had a
snowball fight, a couple just missed me and hit the car so I threw a
couple back and joined in their fun.
It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature
dropped to around minus 8 degrees. Several branches on our trees and
bushes snapped due to the weight of snow. I shovelled our driveway again.
Shortly afterwards the snowplough came by and did his trick again. Much of
the snow is now a brownish-grey.
Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon
became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tyres for both
our cars £500. Fell on my a*se in the driveway. £100 to a physio but nothing
Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought her a 4x4 to get her to
work. She slid into a wall and did considerable damage to the right wing -
£200. Had another 8 inches of white sh*te last night. Both vehicles are
re-covered in salt and iced up slush. That b*stard snowplough came by
twice today. Where's that bl*ody shovel.
More F*****G snow. Not a tree or bush in our property that hasn't
been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing
to death with candles and a paraffin heater which tipped over and nearly
torched the house. I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2nd degree
burns on my hands. Lost all my eye brows and eyelashes. Car hit a F*****G
deer on the way to casualty and was written off.
F*****G B*****D white sh*te just keeps on coming down. Have to put on
every article of clothing just to go to the post box. The little C***S
next door ambushed me with snowballs on the way back - I'll shove that
carrot so far up the little pr*cks a*se it'll take a good surgeon 6 hours
to find it. If I ever catch the a*sehole that drives the snowplough I'll
chew open his chest and rip out his heart with my teeth. I think the
B*****D hides round the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling and
then he accelerates down the street like Michael F*****G Schumacher and
buries the F*****G driveway again.
16 more sodding inches of F*****G snow and F*****G ice and F*****G
sleet and god knows what other white sh*te fell last night. I am in court
in 3 months time for assaulting the snowplough driver with an ice pick.
Can't move my F*****g toes. Haven't seen the sun for 5 weeks. Minus 20 and
more F*****G snow forecast F**K THIS, I'M MOVING BACK TO