I've been here almost 3 years now, 2 years in Brisbane and 9 months here in Adelaide and me and the kids hate it, we'd go home tomorrow if I could afford the removals and flights.
Like you I feel nothing for the place, don't like or dislike it really, it's just not home.
Hi Libby, I can understand you totally and thank you for starting this thread. Like you it is my OH who has been trying to come to Australia for years. It has been a really hard time for me. Like you I don't dislike it but have no feelings towards it - there are brilliant days and really bad days. My OH loves it (although having to work such long hours to earn the $ is starting to get him too tired to have time to enjoy it) this makes me feel so guilty and I really am trying. I will be honest I keep thinking it is my fault as Australia would never have been my dream place to come as it is so far away, the real Spain is beautiful too and so much nearer! I am trying so hard to love it - it is a beautiful place. Sometimes I have read the threads on here and think am I living in a different timeline, everybody loves it and I'm the only one with no feelings, it makes me feel guilty, negative and have all sorts of feelings. There is someone on here who makes me feel that I am failing my partner and not trying hard enough as they seem to love it so much. In this thread though they have said different and that has made me feel so much better! (Not that I don't want them to be 100% happy but that everyone seems to feel like it sometimes so it's not just me). Wasn't you Sarahsmartiepants by the way you're threads have actually kept me going sometimes! How sad is that?!? As I say it is a great place and some days I do like it but others as my visa won't allow me to work I sit at home bored silly thinking what am I doing here - no-one to talk to and can't even ring the UK as they're asleep! Not meaning to ramble on just trying to let you know I think I know where you're coming from. Still OH off for a week after today so we're going to do something yipee!!!! Hope this is a start! Sorry everyone this probably doesn't make any sense but I feel better for getting off my chest so thank you!
Sorry rambled so long logged me off and then went twice!!!!!!
I totally agree with the last post. Life here isnt a bunch of roses...its a hard slog setting up your whole life again, and starting new jobs, new schools, new cars etc. There isnt a wide support network for a lot of us and I have gone through a period of months when I felt like you..."whats the big deal about Australia? Its not that special to take us away from family etc". I have also spoken to quite a few friends who have gone through this, usually after around 8 months or so of arriving.. the honeymoon / holiday period has ended and real life has truely set in. We've been out here now for just over a year, it was my husband sidea to emigrate too, not mine. However, after a couple of low months, life is picking up again. Thinking about the reality of moving back to the UK and what that would entail etc has put things back into a bit of perspective. I hope you start to feel up soon, I dont think the winter months help with this either, lots less socialising and getting to the beach etc. Perhaps we have all suffered a bit of 'SAD'..
posts like this are not to be dismissed ........
in fact there are too many useless posts that do naff all other than fuel dreams for those in the uk who moan about their lot back HOME - ask your "self which type of person are you..........." (sarahpeskymum) ;)
hence ive never apologised for my "get real "postings despite some people having a go at my good character - irony of religion once again!!! - i fear for such people i really do but thats their life and its such a shame people cannot tolerate opinion - sunshine. dophins, surf etc etc do not make sod all difference to quality of life and im a bloody full on uk hardcore surfer who is living in the hills away from the beach.........each to their own but i just cant see how kangaroos and koalas can replace things close to the heart / soul
good luck for those who buy houses from the uk good luck for those cheap house prices cos there is a reason a very big reason and believe me there are many area the majority of people would not want to live - relief teaching gives a very good insight into the pulse of youth living within a community......
get that kettle on libby
Even though it is refreshing to hear that all is not a bed of roses over there, it makes no difference to the reasons why people are emigrating in massive numbers from the UK and not just to Oz, to other countries all around the world.
People have differing reasons as to why they want to escape the life here in the UK, but mainly my personal reason is for a better future for my children. I can`t imagine how hard it will be for them in 20 years time and I can personally see no future for them here.
Whilst a few people on here will say `it could be the same here in 20 years` I will always have the opinion that if we don`t try it now ,we`ll never find out. The wife and I know we will struggle, we know that we will miss the family, we know that the kids might not settle, we know that we might end up in an undesirable area, we know that we will struggle financially, and if it doesn`t work out , we know that we gave it our best shot. Hopefully with all the effort being put in and working together as a family we will do well:D
Libby, with all our heart we hope that it all works out for you, and anyone else who feels this way to be honest, our best wishes go to you and yours and hope that you make the right decision as a family and do whats best for everyone ;)
And I would think that if you look at the papers from this country, you probably wouldn`t want to come back :(
Especially if you support Chelsea :D
Thank you, all of you for your support.
It helps to know I am not mad!
One or two people asked me if I had thought about what I want to get out of all this in OZ and I sat and thought and thought some more, and shocked myself by realising that in all the 11 years we have been planning this, not once have I actually considered what I want from a life in Australia. I can't believe I did it. Or not as the case may be.
I am lucky in that the lines of communication between me and the hubbie are open well and truly, whether he likes it or not. I did think about sparing his feelings and I did try to. But this move was something we did together and we have a life together and he needs to know what is happening in my world, good or bad. He has taken it well that I feel little for 'his spiritual home'. He is trying to be supportive but I have told him that right now, his support may consist of little more than dropping me off and picking me up at houses all over Adelaide and the pubs inbetween!!!!!!
I am tired which isn't helping. We have concerns about the health of one of our girls, we have just moved house and are trying to get settled, I have a cooker in my dining room (loooonnnggg story) and I miss my sister. I miss the familiarity but I love the Aussie attitude of say it as it is, none of that reading between the lines nonsense which I am rubbish at anyway.
I have some good friends in the Uk that I miss. What I found quite hard was the fact that people that I thought were good friends have not been in touch and have made no attempt to reply/ respond to us which is hurtful, no other words for it. I have a couple of friends here, and hope to be making a few more. The holidays will give the time I hope to reflect on my own hopes and dreams for the future and from there we should be climbing upwards.
I knew it would be hard and that loneliness and missing friends/ family was always going to be the thing that caused the most tears, but I thought I was more positive I suppose.
This really is an incredible opportunity to find out more about yourself. I thought I knew me, but not so! The hard work in a new location and the same ole run of the mill life isn't the issue so much as feeling satisfied at the end of the day when you turn up and smile at the life you have made. Maybe I am rushing things...but I am not patient and then perhaps placing unrealistic expectations upon myself is creating more stress...
Rambling again, sorry
Personally it sounds like you are suffering from SAD, we have it in the UK for 365 days of the year ;)
We hope it works out for you and as long as you feel you can talk to your OH and explain how you feel about it , the bad feelings may rescind, and all will be well, at least you aren`t bottling it up with no-one to talk to :GEEK:;)
As for the friends coming to see you/stay in touch stuff, we`ve had all that aswell , and all I say is `well, we aren`t that far away now, and you don`t visit/call, so what difference does a plane ride make'
Hi All I really feel for those of you over their who are struggeling and hope it gets better soon. I have been watching this tread with intrest as it is something we could all find ourselfes going through when we get their, and trying to think of some positive Ideas that might help.
Anyway here goes hope some of these may be of use :-
1. Right down all the reasons you wanted to move to oz. When we are feeling down and dishartend it is easy to loose sight of our goles and objectivs.
2.Wright a mood diary. Often our moods change impeceptivly over a long period of time and we can sometimes not see the wood for the trees but with a diary you can look back over a longer period of time. Hopefully you will then be able to think well yes i am feeling low but not quite as low as I was 2 months ago. Also it might help you see if their is a trigor for some of your feelings and if teir is you may be able to do somthing about it!
3.And heres the contrevecial one! get religion:). Whilst you can always remain true to your own belifes (or lack of them) inside if you can find a busy out going church their are often many other things going on. IE toddler groups, womens groups that do other things (ie walks picnics ect). church picnics curry nights and so on. You will be kept busy put down roots in the community and your brain can very quietly continue to aclimatize you to your new surroundings without you realizing it.
4. If you have time join a volentry group ie womens auxilerie? or some such Whilst helping others you may find yourself putting down roots and making new freinds.
5. I have also noticed their are a few of you on this sight in the same sittuation. hows about forming the P.O.P(P1ssed Off Poms) group A few good get togethers might help lighten the mood.
I realise that this is all from this side off the pond and may not work when we get their but wanted to try and contribut somthing positive. Hope things get better soon.