The Aussie life

[Guest Guest75]

How true some of this is..............

 

 

If only life was still this simple...

1. The bigger the hat, the smaller the farm.

2. The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.

3. Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art

gallery, there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage

sizzle.

4. If the guy next to you is swearing like a wharfie he's probably a

media billionaire. Or on the other hand, he may be a wharfie.

5. There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of

tomato sauce.

6. On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by

placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out.

7. Industrial design knows of no article more useful than the plastic

milk crate.

8. All our best heroes are losers.

9. The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue tongs

from the hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags.

10. It's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold.

11. A thong is not a piece of scanty swimwear, as in America, but a

fine example of Australian footwear. A group of sheilas wearing black rubber

thongs may not be as exciting as you had hoped.

12. It is proper to refer to your best friend as "a total bastard".

By contrast, your worst enemy is "a bit of a bastard".

13. Historians believe the widespread use of the word "mate" can be

traced to the harsh conditions on the Australian frontier in the 1890s, and

the development of a code of mutual aid, or "mateship". Alternatively,

Australians may just be really hopeless with names.

14. The wise man chooses a partner who is attractive not only to

himself, but to the mosquitoes.

15. If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, it's not

worth fixing.

16. The most popular and widely praised family in any street is the

one that has the swimming pool.

17. It's considered better to be down on your luck than up yourself.

18. The phrase "we've got a great lifestyle" means everyone in the

family drinks too much.

19. If invited to a party, you should take cheap red wine and then

spend all night drinking the host's beer. (Don't worry, he'll have catered

for it).

20. If there's any sort of free event or party within a hundred

kilometres, you'd be a mug not to go.

21. The phrase "a simple picnic" is not known. You should take

everything you own. If you don't need to make three trips back to the car,

you're not trying.

22. Unless ethnic or a Pom, you are not permitted to sit down in your

front yard, or on your front porch. Pottering about, gardening or leaning on

the fence is acceptable. Just don't sit. That's what backyards are for.

23. The tarred road always ends just after the house of the local

mayor.

24. On picnics, the Esky is always too small, creating a food versus

grog battle that can only ever be solved by leaving the food behind.

[Guest Guest75]

This is an oldie post - but just thought I'd bump it as it is sooo true here!!!:biglaugh:

[Guest cornish Busdriver]

Love it !!!!!!!!

[HEAPS GOOD !!!]

Hehe nice on Russ

[Guest PhilC]

How true some of this is..............

 

21. The phrase "a simple picnic" is not known. You should take

everything you own. If you don't need to make three trips back to the car,

you're not trying.

 

That's definitely us, any trip out is like a major expedition in our house.

[Guest Guest75]

That's definitely us, any trip out is like a major expedition in our house.

 

 

I'll add - don't have "Certain parties" - then give an "alleged mate" some video tapes to transfer to DVD :embarrassed::embarrassed::swoon: