Feeling depressed today and as its emigration related I thought I would share my reasons as there may well be one or two members here who are / have been in the same position as me right now.
About 6 years ago, after lots of discussions led by me about emigrating, we visited an emigration show and found out that OHs profession (General Electrician) was needed in SA and so decided to apply for a State visa.
At this point I must point out that emigrating has always been my idea and passion, OH has never truly been keen of the idea – he is a very wary person who finds making big decisions very difficult, instead he’d rather err on the side of caution and not take any risks.
Anyway, he reluctantly went along with the idea but was already starting to drag his feet over the whole thing.
To get things moving I wrote up his TRA application myself, gaining info online etc, and he just read through it afterwards as I wanted to make sure I hadn't missed anything out! We passed the TRA but it then took another 6 months of me nagging and using my best powers of persuasion to get him to complete the visa papers for the emigration agent.
In the meantime, we discovered that Electricians had be added to the MODL so I suggested that we consider Perth as a destination as OH has relatives there and they could help us settle and find work etc which did seem to get him mildly interested. So, all forms finally filled out, we sent off the 136 application in March 2007.
CO appointed and then medicals requested in July 2008. There was a lot of worry over the medicals as our middle son had been suffering from a heart condition (thankfully he now seems to have grown out of it) and hubby turned out to have ‘white coat syndrome’ so his blood pressure went through the roof during the meds, which meant everything has to be put on hold again until he could get three ‘normal’ readings by going backwards and forwards to our GP; who finally put him on BetaBlockers for a few weeks so he could get a normal reading!!
Finally hubby got the all clear on his blood pressure and as a bonus our son was discharged from the Paediatricians/Cardiologists for his heart condition so this info could be added to the medical and all the paperwork finally went off.
Then on 8th January 2008 that golden email arrived saying our visa has been granted – I cried tears of triumph and relief ..... hubby just shrugged ... We had until September 2008 to get the visas validated so we decided to go for a hols to Perth and in July 2008 we left for a 3 weeks reccie.
I have to say, Perth was definitely not for us. Despite my longing for emigration even I couldn’t get enthusiastic about WA. I know we went at the wrong time of year (3 weeks of torrential rain and cold accommodation like we haven't even experienced in the UK!). We cannot wait go back for a summer holiday but, for lots of reasons, WA wouldn’t be our choice of a place to emigrate to.
I came home a little disheartened and sadly Perth had given hubby plenty of reasons why emigration was not the right thing to do
Ultimately one thing we do agree on is that if we ever do go it would have to be somewhere other than WA. We have researched South Aus again, this time maybe Melbourne or back to our original destination choice; Adelaide.
Sadly on a personal front while all the emigration saga has been going on our family has suffered too tragedies; OHs brother was diagnosed with cancer and died three years ago aged only 45 and last July I suddenly lost my Dad to a massive heart attack.
In my case this has put a whole new slant on emigrating as I would be leaving my mum behind, something I am finding very hard to get my head around at the moment. In turn, although OH isn’t particularly close to his parents, he feels duty bound not to leave the UK as he is their only remaining son.
One positive thing I have learnt from all of this heartache though is how important it is to seize the day; you never know what lies around the corner.
Each day that comes and goes the dream of emigrating is fading away. We just exist here in the UK - due to the recession hubby has been struggling to find work for a few years now and I have five part-time jobs to fit around the kids’ school times and school holidays.
I know in my heart that the move would be good for the boys and, I hope, good for us all as a family and I wish more than anything that OH would take the plunge and throw caution to the wind. I want us to live, not merely exist!
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest!