• Results 1 to 2 of 2

    Thread: Wee Jock

    1. #1

      Senior Member
      Join Date
      Aug 2007
      Port Noarlunga
      134 times

      Wee Jock

      Teacher: "Good morning children, today is Thursday, so we're going to have
      >>a general knowledge quiz. The pupil who gets the answer right can have
      >>Friday and Monday off and not come back to school until Tuesday."
      >>Wee Jock thinks, "Ya dancer. Ah'm pure dead brilliant at ma general
      >>knowledge stuff. This is gonnae be a dawdle, come on ya radge, a lang
      >>weekend fir me."
      >>Teacher: "Right class, who can tell me who said. "Don't ask what your
      >>country can do for you, but what you can do for your country?"
      >>Wee Jock shoots up his hand, waving furiously in the air.
      >>Instead however, teacher looks round & picks Richard at the front.
      >>"Yes, Richard?"
      >>Richard (in a very English accent): "Yes miss, the answer is J F Kennedy -
      >>inauguration speech 1960.
      >>"Teacher: "Very good Richard. You may stay off Friday and Monday and we
      >>will see you back in class on Tuesday.
      >>The next Thursday comes around, and Wee Jock is even more determined.
      >>Teacher: "Who said. 'We will fight them on the beaches, we will fight them
      >>in the air, we will fight them at sea. But we will never surrender?"
      >>Wee Jock's hand shoots up, arm stiff as a board, shouting "I know. I know.
      >>Me Miss, me Miss "
      >>Teacher looking round and picks Timothy, sitting at the front:
      "Yes Timothy."
      >>Timothy (In a very, very posh, English accent): "Yes miss, the answer is
      >>Winston Churchill, 1941 Battle of Britain speech."
      >>Teacher: "Very good Timothy , you may stay off Friday and Monday and come
      >>back to class on Tuesday."
      >>The following Thursday comes around and Wee Jock is hyper, he's been
      >>studying encyclopaedias all week and he's ready for anything that comes.
      >>He's coiled in his wee chair, slavers dripping in anticipation.
      >>Teacher: "Who said One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind?"
      >>Wee Jock's arm shoots straight in the air, he's standing on his seat,
      >>jumping up and down screaming "Me miss. Me miss. I know, I know.

      Me Miss, me miss, meeeeee"
      >>Teacher looking round the class picks Rupert, sitting at the front.
      >>"Yes Rupert."
      >>Rupert (In a frightfully, frightfully,ever so plummy English
      >>"Yes miss, that was Neil Armstrong 1969, The first moon landing."
      >>Teacher: "Very good Rupert. You may stay off Friday and Monday and come
      >>back into class on Tuesday."
      >>At which point Wee Jock loses the plot altogether, he tips his desk and
      >>throws his wee chair at the wall. He starts screaming "Where the f *ck did
      >>all these English ba**ards come from?"
      >>Teacher looking round the class, angrily: "Who said that"?!!
      >>Wee Jock grabs his coat and heads for the exit, "Bonnie Prince Charlie,
      >>Culloden, 1746. See yeh on Tuesday ya old cow!."
      Cornelia (41), Andy (42!!), Ally (16) & Wee Andi (12) x

    2. #2
      Hi there , they are very funny jokes - will be sure to show my hubbie


    Copyright 2006 - 2015 Australia Migration Forums