Wee Jock

[cormcvcr]

Teacher: "Good morning children, today is Thursday, so we're going to have

>>a general knowledge quiz. The pupil who gets the answer right can have

>>Friday and Monday off and not come back to school until Tuesday."

>>Wee Jock thinks, "Ya dancer. Ah'm pure dead brilliant at ma general

>>knowledge stuff. This is gonnae be a dawdle, come on ya radge, a lang

>>weekend fir me."

>>

>>Teacher: "Right class, who can tell me who said. "Don't ask what your

>>country can do for you, but what you can do for your country?"

>>Wee Jock shoots up his hand, waving furiously in the air.

>>Instead however, teacher looks round & picks Richard at the front.

>>"Yes, Richard?"

>>Richard (in a very English accent): "Yes miss, the answer is J F Kennedy -

>>inauguration speech 1960.

>>"Teacher: "Very good Richard. You may stay off Friday and Monday and we

>>will see you back in class on Tuesday.

>>

>>The next Thursday comes around, and Wee Jock is even more determined.

>>Teacher: "Who said. 'We will fight them on the beaches, we will fight them

>>in the air, we will fight them at sea. But we will never surrender?"

>>Wee Jock's hand shoots up, arm stiff as a board, shouting "I know. I know.

>>Me Miss, me Miss "

>>Teacher looking round and picks Timothy, sitting at the front:

"Yes Timothy."

>>Timothy (In a very, very posh, English accent): "Yes miss, the answer is

>>Winston Churchill, 1941 Battle of Britain speech."

>>Teacher: "Very good Timothy , you may stay off Friday and Monday and come

>>back to class on Tuesday."

>>

>>The following Thursday comes around and Wee Jock is hyper, he's been

>>studying encyclopaedias all week and he's ready for anything that comes.

>>He's coiled in his wee chair, slavers dripping in anticipation.

>>Teacher: "Who said One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind?"

>>Wee Jock's arm shoots straight in the air, he's standing on his seat,

>>jumping up and down screaming "Me miss. Me miss. I know, I know.

 

Me Miss, me miss, meeeeee"

>>Teacher looking round the class picks Rupert, sitting at the front.

>>"Yes Rupert."

>>Rupert (In a frightfully, frightfully,ever so plummy English

>>accent):

>>"Yes miss, that was Neil Armstrong 1969, The first moon landing."

>>Teacher: "Very good Rupert. You may stay off Friday and Monday and come

>>back into class on Tuesday."

>>At which point Wee Jock loses the plot altogether, he tips his desk and

>>throws his wee chair at the wall. He starts screaming "Where the f *ck did

>>all these English ba**ards come from?"

>>Teacher looking round the class, angrily: "Who said that"?!!

>>Wee Jock grabs his coat and heads for the exit, "Bonnie Prince Charlie,

>>Culloden, 1746. See yeh on Tuesday ya old cow!."

[Guest Guest1435]

Hi there , they are very funny jokes - will be sure to show my hubbie:biglaugh: