Me (36), DH (36), DS1 (9), DS2 (6), DS3 (4), DD1 (2), DD2 - BRAND NEW!!! 26-6-11 ...80 ʇdǝs ɹǝpun uʍop pǝʌıɹɹɐ
Enjoying every day life with all our needs satisfied in this sunscorched land...
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Guess we were just lucky. We told everyone from the start, and due to it being a quick process (with employer sponsorship and job already here to start) they never really had much time. But everyone of them said we were doing what was best for us, and wished us all the best. Then we found out we were expecting our third child the week beofre we were to leave, which upset them all a lot!!! But they still call all the time and think we have done the best thing ever. Good luck with whatever you decide to do, but IMO it is best to be upfront and give them time to get used to the idea.
Updates as follows:
Daughter now 21 has a horrible boyfriend and moved in with him today and is not coming with us :(
My Mum is now safe in sheltered housing and still asking me when we are leaving (it's been a long time)
MIL She has overcome her fear of flying by going on a course and is visiting her daughter in Brisbane this year. Although when we mention Australia she changes the subject and refuses to talk about it.
We are coming on a visit hopefully April/May (got our visa's at last after nearly 4 years waiting)
If you're not familiar with this thread and need a laugh, have a read of it it's quite comical
Can't believe I thought my MIL may kidnap my child but still think she may try and 'kill herself' the day before we are due to leave!
I know how you feel, we had the guilt trip put on ourselves. We told our parents to spend 6 months in the uk and 6 with us.
But at the end of the day you have to do whats best for your own family.
YOur outstanding wit and humour and astounded me. You've made me laugh at every post (not particulalry because its funny, but the way you write it!!!).
I think you;re right about MIL forum, one beter woudl be to have a night out with some others who have had hard times with MIL and the move here and have a good luagh, soudns like you'll need a beer/wine when you get here.
Anyway on a serious note, i hope your MIL doesn;t tyr anything drastic to sabotage your plans and dont; forget one simple thing; YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HER ACTIONS!
I've obviously had trauma with mine, thus can understand your plight!!
Hi Waite Family,
It's a tough call but I certainly think that telling relatives sooner rather than later is the best option..gives them time to come to terms with your move...whether they like it or not! Obviously emotional blackmail might enter into play but it's your immediate family that is the priority and you have to do what is best for you & yours. We have been called selfish for wishing to make the move to Oz however are they not the selfish ones for not letting us live our lives the way we choose??
We have had very mixed reactions from our parents..mine think it is a great opportunity and are getting very excited with us but the OH's mother would rather not discuss it as it upsets her too much.
I would just take the plunge and strike while the irons hot.......best of luck.
Iím so relieved to read this thread. We have just got our visa through today and we are all over the moon, there is just one thing thatís spoiling it and that is telling my Mum.
All our family are OK about it, but my Mum is devastated. She wonít talk about it at all. She will really miss our children, who she has a really close relationship with. My Dad has been great and I have been telling him when we have had medicals etc and he has told my Mum in a roundabout way when the time has been right.
Iím really close to my Mum and will miss her dreadfully and have been hoping that my parents would come over for 3 months stints over winters. They are both in their mid 60ís and really fit and travel all over the world; they were in Hong Kong last 3 months ago and are going to Africa in a month. I have tried to talk to her about the positives about us going, like being able to come over for winter and she has dismissed this and wonít discuss it at all and just says that will not be happening.
Iím at a loss as to what to do or say anymore and just feel guilty for even considering going and leaving them behind. I was hoping that my parents would do the contributory parents visa and split the time between me and my sister, but I canít even see my Mum stepping foot in Australia.
I wish I could enjoy this without feeling like Iím stabbing my Mum in the back!
I can totally sympathise. My Gran is 86 and we took her on holiday to tell her about our intention of moving. I don't think she actually believed it til we had booked flights etc..
Like you I was very close to her and my 2 kids are her only great grandchildren.
Now she has Senile Dementia and has gone downhill fast in last 6 months. My hopes of her coming to visit have vanished! When I ring she talks for 1 min then puts phone down. (her condition)
The MIL and the OH side of the family ring occasionally but seem be allergic to getting a skype account.
I do feel sad when people over here refer to their family visits and extended family living round the corner as its just us 4 but definitely the most important 4!
Thanks to all who posted on this thread which I read a few months ago. I'd been deciding when to mention it to my family and following reading the posts and OH telling his dad (not yet his mum) thought it best to start the groundwork.
Please tell me I will feel less selfish soon. :(((
Last edited by Guest75; 08-04-2011 at 10:40 PM.
OMG and I thought I had the mother in law from hell!!! I am expecting her illness to become life threatening when we go, but this has opened my eyes to what she could possible do!! Especially as she Is off her rocker too.
Mother in laws aaaarrrrrrggggggg