... been thinking about this a lot recently for one reason or another and thought I'd post up because if anyone can understand where I'm coming from, you lot just might!
I wonder if as migrants to a foreign country, we are that much more vulnerable to being let down by friends that we make here? I think when we come over to this country, we have often left our best and longest friends behind, so we are eager to make new friends. We therefore greet anyone that makes friendly approaches to us with open arms, and let down out guards with them faster than perhaps we should do. With other migrants, it's not so bad - they are needy of friends too for the same reason - but if a local who has lived here all their life makes friendly approaches, we think "hey great" and accept them as a friend without judging, and also without considering why they might be in need of more friends. It's only a little way down the line when they let you down, and hurt you, that you realise the very reasons they might have not had many friends in the first place! Does that make sense? I might not be putting it very well.
I've got some wonderful friends here, but the best ones - the ones that haven't poo-ed on me from a great height at some point - are those that are, for whatever reasons, not native lived-all-their-lives-in-Adelaide locals. For instance I have a lovely Aussie friend that moved here from Melbourne a few years ago. Another that has lived all over. Some lovely expat friends. Those that have let me down haven't exclusively been Adelaidians born and bred - some have been longterm migrants, but again, if they've been here that long and not made good friends, and still need more, there has proven to be a good reason!
I don't know,... I just feel as migrants we are very open and vulnerable to this sort of hurt..
Thanks for listening!