Well, what a strange phenomenon I have encountered recently.
I am only just recovered from the infamous "Great Chicken Salt Misunderstanding of 2012" and have (hopefully) left behind the dark days of needing an Aztec cypher to help with the Metro Fare tables.
Now I face a mountain of understanding that I am finding insurmountable, a bit like Mount Lofty when you are stuck behind a gaggle of lycra-clad gossipers on a steep incline.
What is it with the corners?
No, not on Mount Lofty.... the corners in property pages.
Click on any property that is advertised on RealMistake.com and you usually get the following in the photo section:
1) external front view showing next door's dog peeing on the discarded sofa in their garden
2) at least two shots featuring the position of the hob in relation to the gap for the fridge
3) one nice picture of some closed curtains and a coke can
4) bathroom selection highlighting photographer's reflection in shower cubicle door plus a view of the toilet pan, complete with little lavender water freshener thingy dangling seductively off the rim.
5) back yard panorama which shows a lawn reminiscent of the Kalahari (before rainy season) and a massive, rusty shed that is "great for general storage". Storage of what? It's massive! Combine harvesters? Atlantis? The Treorchy Male Voice Choir?
6) Another back yard shot (pergola related) showing a couple of chairs, a spittoon and a barbie that makes the public ones look clean.
7) The same external front view without dog (still including sofa).
8) Just when you think you know everything you need to know about this property; there suddenly appear 25 images of assorted room corners. Some are just a plain "here's the corner", some are "here's the corner with the curtains shut" and even more intriguingly there are the exotic "here are the same corners but the photographer turned 32.5° eastwards, thus giving you a whole new perspective on this fabulous juxtaposition of right angles, walls and floor".
Now if, say, I was considering two similar properties would the quality of the corner shots be enough to tip me one way or the other?
I don't like House A because I think that the corners in House B were far more evocative of a bygone era; whereas in A they were too idiosyncratic for my tastes.
It would be really helpful for me if I could get some guidance on how to rate these corners, as I am obviously missing something.
Is there a sliding scale of desirability? Perhaps the realtors have a ratio of corner to rental charge that they apply.
Maybe I need to go and find that Aztec cypher to help me interpret the meaning and value of these images.
Answers on a postcard at the usual address if you can tell me what it all means.
Whatever happens I cannot bear to see any more bloody corners. Stop it. Stop taking stupid pictures.
A picture of a corner does not in any way, shape or form demonstrate to me the size of the room.
I would rather a picture of the view out of the window, or better shot of the kitchen.
Come on, if you have a house/apartment that you are trying to promote, at least have the decency to take a couple of nice snaps for your clients.
Anyway, I have to rush off now, there is a particularly interesting property that I want to inspect.
It's a lighthouse, so shouldn't be a problem for the angularly challenged like myself.