John and the parrott

[cormcvcr]

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The

parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

 

Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious

and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to

change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only

polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could

think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

 

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.

The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the

parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in

desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the

freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked

and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard

for over a minute.

 

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened

the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out

onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I

may have offended you with my rude language and

actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my

inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do

everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable

behavior."

 

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

 

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a

dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very

softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

[Cherrypecker]

One day a man went to an auction. There, he found an exotic

parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept

bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he went higher and higher and higher.

 

Finally, after bidding much more than he had intended, he

finally won. The bird was his! As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the

auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot isn't defective. I'd hate to pay this much

money only to find out that he can't talk!"

 

"Of course he can talk," said the auctioneer. "Who do you

think kept bidding against you?"