28-02-2015, 03:17 PM #121
I was listening to the radio this morning when the Host invited callers to reveal thenick-names they had for their wives.
The best call was from a brave chap who called his wife, "Harvey Norman"
The Host asked him why that name?
He replied: "Absolutely no interest for 36 months."
28-02-2015, 03:19 PM #122
A man goes into a doctor's office feeling a little ill
The doctor checks him over and says, 'Sorry, I have some bad news, you have Yellow 24, a really nasty virus.
It's called Yellow 24 because it turns your blood yellow and you usually only have 24 hours to live.
There's no known cure so just go home and enjoy your final precious moments on earth..'
So he trudges home to his wife and breaks the news.
Distraught, she asks him to go to the bingo with her that evening as he's never been there with her before.
They arrive at the bingo and with his first card he gets four corners and wins $35.
Then, with the same card, he gets a line and wins $320
Then he gets the full house and wins $5000.
Then the National Game comes up and he wins that too getting $780,000.
The bingo caller gets him up on stage and says,
'Son, I've been here 20 years and I've never seen anyone win four corners, a line, the full-house and the national game on the same card.
You must be the luckiest bastard on Earth!'
'Lucky?' he screamed. 'Lucky? I'll have you know I've got Yellow 24'.
'Sod me,' says the bingo caller. 'You've won the meat raffle as well !!!