My Husband And I Divorced Over Religious Differences.
He Thought He Was God, and I Didn't.
Murphy the Roofer was working when suddenly he started shaking and feeling dizzy.
He calls down to Paddy the Hod-Carrier and says "I think I must go home, I've just come over all giddy and feel sick".
Paddy shouts up to Murphy on the roof "Have you got vertigo"?
Murphy replies, "No I only live round the corner".
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way
Paddy O'Murphy's wife gave birth to twins and he demanded to know who the other man was...
Two blonde guys were working for the city works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole.
They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one guy digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"
The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-man team. But today the guy who plants the trees called in sick."
He's actually married to my blonde sister and with me in mind they named one Denise and the other Denephew!!!
Originally Posted by Ktee
If you weigh a whale at a whaleway station then where would you weigh a pie? answer will follow shortly. Don't, if you already know, spoil the fun by posting the answer too soon.
Another poser which I think will be OK on this thread! There is a brothel on the top of a hill, there is a man on his way up to the brothel, there is a man on his way down from it and there is a man in the brothel, now what are the nationalities of those 3 men? Again if you already know the answer do not post just yet, let the grey matter in others get turning! answer to be posted soon!!
Come on some of us are falling asleep waiting
Originally Posted by Keith
A blonde goes to the doctor with both of her ears and her right hand are burned. "Sit down and tell me how it happened," says the doctor.
"I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear."
"'What about the other ear and your hand?"
"I tried to call for an ambulance."