What do you call an Australian with 100 by his name? A bowler.
Why can't Aussies open bottles? Because they don't have any openers.
What do you call an Australian with a bottle of champagne in his hand? A waiter.
What do you call a world class Australian? Retired.
What"s the height of optimism? An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.
What is the main function of the Australia coach? To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.
What do Aussie batsmen and drug addicts have in common? Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.
The ICC is investigating strange betting patterns in the Llords Test. Someone allegedly put $20 on Australia.
Why do Aussie fielders need pre-tour travel instructions? Because they never catch anything.
What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet? The entire Aussie innings.
What's the Aussie version of a hat-trick? Three runs in three balls.
What is the most proficient form a footwork displayed by an Aussie batsman? The walk back to the pavilion.
What is the Australian version of LBW? Lost, beaten, walloped.