Why it is better being a man!

[Keith & Linda]

Wrinkles add character---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wedding dress $2000, tuxedo rental $100-----------------------------------------------------------------

One mood all the time---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Phone conversations are iver in 30 seconds----------------------------------------------------------------

We dont have to drive to the next service station because this one just too icky------------------------

The world is our urinal---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1 weeks holiday = 1 small case-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

We do not have to think which way to turn a nut and bolt------------------------------------------------

We can open all our own jars-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness------------------------------------------------

If someone forgets to invite us we can still be friends-----------------------------------------------------

We know stuff about tanks----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We dont have strap problems-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We cannot see wrinkles in our clothes----------------------------------------------------------------------

Same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades, and still looks good------------------------------------

We only have to shave our face and neck------------------------------------------------------------------

We can play with toys all our life-----mmmmmm well maybe not just men----------------------------

One colour for all seasons-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We can wear shorts no matter what our legs look like----------------------------------------------------

We have freedom of choice in growing a moustache------------------------------------------------------

We can do all our christmas shopping on christmas eve--------------------------------------------------

This is just the start girls!!!!!

[Blossom]

Hey, loads of those apply to me. My moustache is coming on great. :-D

[Keith & Linda]

Hey, loads of those apply to me. My moustache is coming on great. :-D

 

you girls need to be careful not to have too many facelifts as you may end up with a beard to shave too:biggrin:

[Keith & Linda]

Even Mans best friend has better qualities...................................................................................................................................................

 

1, Dogs don't notice or care if you call them by another name

2, The later you are the more excited they are to see you

3, Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor

4, A dogs parents never visit

5, Dogs agree and don't mind that you have to raise your voice to get your point across

6, You never have to wait for you dog, it;s ready to go 24 hours a day

7, Dogs find you amusing when you are drunk

8, Dogs like to go hunting and fishing

9, A dog will not wake you up in the middle of the night and ask "if I died would you get another dog"

10, If a dog has babies it dosn't mind if you give them away

[Keith & Linda]

A guide for man in trying to understand woman, though this in reality is impossible, the following definitions of words as used by women just may help in man having an easier life, but be aware the meanings are mood sensitive and would be risky of men to rely on th same definition for the whole month.

 

1) FINE. This is used by women to end an agument when they feel that they are right and you need to shut up.

 

2) FIVE MIUTES. If she is getting dressed this actuall means 35 minutes, five minutes is only five minutes if she gives them to you for atching the game before helping around the house.

 

3) NOTHING. This is the calm beore the storm this actually means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in FINE! (refer back to #1)

 

4) GO-AHEAD. this is not an instruction or permission, it is a dare! DO NOT DO IT!

 

5) LOUD SIGH. This is a word to a woman in that it is a non verbal statement and often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there arguing about nothing (refer back to #3)

 

6) THAT'S OK. This is one of themost dangerous staemnts a woman can say to a man. That's OK means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and hen you will pay for your mistake, and you won't even know you have made a mistake

 

7) THANKS. A woman is thanking you, do not question or faint,just say your welcome.

 

8) THANKS A LOT. (do not confuse with thanks) this is pure sarcasm she is not thanking you so do not reply with your welcome as this will bring on a whatever.

 

9) WHATEVER. her way of saying F___ you!

 

10) DON't WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT. Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that she told a man to do several times (ie. more thn once) but is now doing it herself. this wil result in the man asking "what's wrong?" for the womans response refer #3.

 

Good luck guys and any further tips would, I am sure, be greatly apreciated.

[Keith & Linda]

We also do not need a thread on where to buy clothes and Bra's

If we need a pair of jeans we go in the shop, they fit, we buy, walk out of shop. Job done go home and do better things!

I think I can rest my case now, don't think Ktee and lily rainbow?