Just for Keith
101 Reasons Why Itís Better
to Be a Woman Than a Guy
1. When you get back from a date, your friends donít ask if you Ďscoredí or not.
2. You donít have to worry about the person at the next toilet looking at your genitals.
3. Maternity leave.
4. You donít have to worry about hiding erections at inappropriate times.
5. Ugly women can get laid, but ugly guys canít.
6. A woman can never be sent to jail for slapping her husband.
7. You can get out of speeding tickets.
8. Strange guys in bars will buy you drinks.
9. You can sue for sexual harassment and not get made fun of.
10. You dominate fashion magazine covers.
11. Artists will cut off their left ear for you.
12. People will try to assassinate presidents for you.
13.You get couches in your public restrooms.
14. Itís okay to like opera.
15. Itís okay to like ballet.
16. Itís okay to like art.
17. You canít be drafted.
18. If you donít like sports, thatís okay.
19. If you are sensitive, no one thinks youíre gay.
20. You donít have to worry about pissing on your shoes.
21. Guys will pay for everything.
22. You donít have to worry about asking guys out on dates, you can just wait for the guys to come to you.
23. You get to be in ads for the best brands of beer.
24. You can show PDA and not look like a pervert.
25. You smell better.
26. Society deems you the ďgentle gender.Ē
27. You arenít expected to know anything about cars.
28. You ďgetĒ Dr. Zhivago.
29. Youíre allowed to appreciate Leonardo DiCaprio.
30. Youíre allowed to cry.
31. Youíre allowed to have stuffed animals.
32. Youíre allowed to carry a bag with all the stuff you may need for an outing.
33. You get lesbians.
34. Male store clerks rush to your assistance.
35. Strangers will stop to help you change a flat.
36. You can walk through the lingerie section of a store and not feel awkward.
37. Guys think you look good even without makeup or in sweats (really.)
38. The less you wear, the more popular you become.
39. You are never challenged with making a guy have an orgasm.
40. You donít need a cool car to get laid.
41. Your handwriting doesnít suck.
42. You donít hit your sexual peak until your thirtiesÖnot on prom night.
43. You can stay home all day and live off your spouse without being deemed a lazy bum.
44. Multiple orgasms.
45. You donít have to mow the lawn.
46. You are never asked to kill a spider.
47. You never have to fix anything around the house.
48. You're never asked to open jars.
49. If you go to the bathroom in pairs or groups, no one thinks youíre gay.
50. No one ever knows when you break wind.
51.You can leave your boyfriend for any reason, and everyone will take your side.
52. Your hormones donít make your voice crack, just your breasts bigger.
53. Naked women are beautiful, naked men are hideous.
54. Women can get drunk and not act like assholes.
55. You get to blame mood swings on your period no matter what time of the month it is.
56. Tyson Beckford.
57. You never have to worry if the people in your gym locker room are checking you out.
58. Guys are willing to bury their faces in the most obnoxious, germ-ridden parts of your body.
59. You can dance with someone of the same sex and not be labeled as gay.
60. The thought of women masturbating turns guys on.
61. You can have guy friends and not worry about what people think.
62. You donít feel pressured to have sex with every guy on earth.
63. If your man is sick in bed, you donít have to go buy him feminine hygiene products.
64. You donít have to worry about what your friends think your boyfriend looks like Ė they will judge him on personality, not looks.
65. If you get into a fight your friends will help you.
66. Your friends wonít boast about how great their relationships are, especially their sexual relationships, when youíre single.
67. You can wear boxers, a sweater, and a cap to an early morning college class and still look damn good.
68. You can achieve orgasm with thought alone.
69. Your friends are supportive when youíre single and depressed about it.
70. Fifty dates equals fifty free dinners and/or movies.
71. One word: Alimony.
72. You donít have to ogleÖa quick glance will suffice for you.
73. You donít have to build the courage to ask someone out, plan the evening, pay for it, and call in a few days to hope that person is interested in doing something with you a second time.
74. You donít have to play mind games with the person you go out with in order to find out whether he likes you or not - you're a woman, of course he likes you.
75. You never have to put your other arm in an uncomfortable position all night when spooning (since you are always on the inside).
76. You get to play with boobies all day.
77. You never have to worry about meeting the parents - they will love you no matter what, they're just glad their son's not queer.
78. You rarely have to worry about saying just the right thing at just the right time in order to prevent a fight you never knew was coming Ė in short, you plan all the fights: what they are about, when they will start, and when you will forgive him. Which is immediately after the flowers.
79. Your friends donít treat sex as a sport that you must participate in as often as possible.
80. When youíre introducing your new boyfriend to your parents, your friends donít worry that youíre getting too involved.
81. You donít have to keep track of your boyfriendís haircut.
82. Youíre never expected or asked to move heavy or large objects.
83. Guys don't care if you're coming out of a relationship - women look at a guy on the rebound like cancer.
84. Youíll probably know well in advance if your boyfriend is ready to dump you. (i.e. you arenít dumped quickly and unexpectedly, nor replaced in the same manner)
85. Youíre not excused for being blunt, thoughtless, having or discussing meaningless sex, or anything else people find in social distaste about you with the phrase ďItís okay, youíre a guy.Ē
86. No one will ever say to you ďYouíre so great, I hope someday I meet someone just like you to date/marry/**** stupid.Ē
87. People donít think you have an inflated ego if you drive an expensive sports car.
88. You can look below a guyís chin and not be perverted.
89. Every guy on the planet likes it when women check them out Ė women act like guys checking them out are creeps. Even if they wear v-neck Saran Wrap shirts. Hookers.
90. Speaking of which, you get to wear skimpy outfits and no one thinks youíre a show-off. Itís just fashion.
91. Preppy boy bands write songs about you...I mean, no one ever wrote a song about my tender heart wanting it that way.
92. You can call a guy a jerk anytime he does something you donít like.
93. You can make as many close friends with the opposite sex as you want.
94. You can put up with small children, if fact, you enjoy them.
95. You arenít deemed a pervert by the opposite sex if you own porno material, actually, youíve just earned Ďcoolnessí points.
96. You also gain Ďcoolnessí points for liking Star Wars, car engines or sports, talking about sex openly (to a degree of course), for asking a guy out, or for pissing in a McDonaldís parking lot.
97. You can multitask
98. Guys are always willing to give a chick their coat in the cold.
99. Itís no problem finding someone to dance with you at a club.
100. You donít have to wear a condom.
101. You can have sex anytime, anywhere, with anyone you want.