Another Laugh while you wait on that Visa
HOPE PETE HASN'T POSTED THIS BEFORE
"Hi honey, This is Daddy. Is Mummy near the phone?"
"No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Dave"
After a brief pause
Daddy says "but honey, you haven't got an Uncle Dave"
"Oh yes I do and he's upstairs in the room with Mummy, right now"
"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mummy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway"
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone
"I did it Daddy"
"And what happened honey?" he asked
"Well Mummy got all scared, jumped out of the bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all"
"Oh my god, what about your Uncle Dave"
He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead"
Even longer pause
Then Daddy says
"Swimming pool?......... Is this 486-579684"
"No, I think you have the wrong number............
hope you dont mind me posting this on here
Husband to wife, "We should start washing your knickers in slim fast, it might make your fat arse thinner".
The next day he puts his pants on and they are covered in powder. He says to his wife, "Have you put talc powder in them?"
"No", she says, "Fooking miracle grow"
just what we needed , a little light entertainment