Nicknames in use that have been given to Glasgow characters by their
friends and workmates:


Two Soups - his real name is Campbell Baxter.

Norrie Two Bunnets - the Glasgow taxi-driver who wears a wig under his
cloth cap.

The Colostomy - the girlfriend of a married man (ie. the wee bag on the

The Boomerang Kid - whenever anyone at work asks a question, he always
replies: 'I'll get back to you on that.'

The Parachute - lets everyone down at the last minute.

Cashline - an experienced young lass who's open 24 hours a day.

Vaseline - his real name is Willie Burns.

Rembrandt - loves saying to colleagues: 'Let me put you in the

Bo Derek - a chap called Derek with terrible body odour.

Brewer's Droop - his real name is Willie Falls.

The Genie - magically appears whenever anyone opens a bottle.

The Marksman - when it's his turn to buy a round, he always shoots the

Dulux - his pals reckon he's only got one coat.

Soapy - washes his hands of any problems that crop up.

Captain Hook - continually late for work, it's believed he must be
scared of the alarm clock.

The Yeti - always on the sick, there have been many unconfirmed
sightings of this guy, but nobody can prove he actually exists.

The Gas Man - he's serviced loads of old boilers.

The Hostage - when anyone asks for help he always replies: 'Sorry, my
hands are tied.

The Chernobyl Jannie - during the mid-Eighties this guy had a really bad

The Woodpecker - he's always tapping.

Mussolini - a woman in an office in Glasgow who has rather loose morals
(aka the great dicktaker)