Nicknames in use that have been given to Glasgow characters by their
friends and workmates:
Two Soups - his real name is Campbell Baxter.
Norrie Two Bunnets - the Glasgow taxi-driver who wears a wig under his
The Colostomy - the girlfriend of a married man (ie. the wee bag on the
The Boomerang Kid - whenever anyone at work asks a question, he always
replies: 'I'll get back to you on that.'
The Parachute - lets everyone down at the last minute.
Cashline - an experienced young lass who's open 24 hours a day.
Vaseline - his real name is Willie Burns.
Rembrandt - loves saying to colleagues: 'Let me put you in the
Bo Derek - a chap called Derek with terrible body odour.
Brewer's Droop - his real name is Willie Falls.
The Genie - magically appears whenever anyone opens a bottle.
The Marksman - when it's his turn to buy a round, he always shoots the
Dulux - his pals reckon he's only got one coat.
Soapy - washes his hands of any problems that crop up.
Captain Hook - continually late for work, it's believed he must be
scared of the alarm clock.
The Yeti - always on the sick, there have been many unconfirmed
sightings of this guy, but nobody can prove he actually exists.
The Gas Man - he's serviced loads of old boilers.
The Hostage - when anyone asks for help he always replies: 'Sorry, my
hands are tied.
The Chernobyl Jannie - during the mid-Eighties this guy had a really bad
The Woodpecker - he's always tapping.
Mussolini - a woman in an office in Glasgow who has rather loose morals
(aka the great dicktaker)