How long did it take you to feel settled?

[Guest twinfamily]

Hi,

 

We're arriving in Adelaide tomorrow and I can't even begin to describe how we're feeling. I said goodbye to my family as we leaving in the morning and I didn't think it would be this hard. It's left me questioning how long it takes to get over missing family?

 

I'm very close to my family and I hope it all works out.

 

I thought is be excited but I feel quite scared and also wonder if I've done the right thing.

 

Which leads me to my next question - how long did it take you to feel settled and call oz your home? Do you ever stop missing family or is it something you adjust to?

 

Cheers

Jessica

[Diane]

Of course you don't stop missing them, but you get used to different methods of contact, and then when they come oveer to stay with you for a month at a time, you spend really intense quality time with them which you realise you'd never have done if living in the same country!

 

Takes about 18 months to a year before you stary to feel 'settled' though, so don't be disheartened if you feel a whole rollercoaster of emotions for the first year or so, slowly slackenng off

[Guest vikkiann]

Up to the 1 year mark I was wobbly but we hit 1 year and I suddenly felt completely settled and felt that this is where we are meant to be.

I took a trip back on my own when we'd been here 13 months and within 2 days I wanted to get back to Adelaide.

 

My dad can't visit here due to health reasons but I FaceTime him 3 times a week, I speak to him more now than I did back there. I'm lucky that my sister visited twice before we'd been here 6 months but I don't think she has any plans to visit for the next year or 2.

 

Like Diane said missing people doesn't get any easier but you have to learn to live with it. Leaving family behind is the most heartbreaking part of living here but for our children, I wouldn't want them to live anywhere else.

 

You are about to go on an emotional roller coaster, hold on tight, enjoy the ride and in the end you'll smile.

 

Vikki

x

[Keith & Linda]

I think you may have a problem adjusting from being very close to your family, this for a lot of people is hard, but it may also in some instances be an excuse to hide behind when things are not quite turning out as we would have expected or hoped, I sometime think that when someone says I am close to my family that they mean family is my life!. I would say that I come from close family, but my family as a whole have always encouraged and supported us to live our own lifes without any emotional blackmail. And like Diane says it makes meeting up with them a higher quality time, this also applied when family moved around in the UK when even a 2-4hr trip was like going around the world (and still does to heaps of people) when we did get together we had great times catching up on all our lifes as we had not been living in each others pockets.

 

I wish you well, but be prepared for the emotional roller coaster that you will be on, remember though why you came here..... for a new life!

[Anne B]

I think it varies for everyone as we are all different, there is no magic point beyond which you start feeling settled.

 

I lived here for 3 years back in the 1990s and in all that time I never felt settled, I felt very isolated (there was no internet or cable tv then), missed my family way too much and was very homesick. We decided to move back to England (husband is Australian so it wasn't back for him) for 2 years, and stayed 12 and a half.

 

This time round I have been here 4 years, and haven't felt homesick, probably because Adelaide is a familiar place, I am older, have children now, and the internet and cheap phone calls make keeping in touch much easier. It doesn't feel as isolated as it did before. However, after a trip back to the UK in June, our first since arriving in 2009, I now feel really unsettled, and am beginning to wonder if I ever will.

[jim and adel]

Much as we love family, my wife and I have always been fairly independent and didn't associate on a daily basis with them even in the UK (for the last ten years before making the move here we lived a couple of hours drive away from family, so used to see them a few times each year, with the odd phone call in-between). I suppose this set us up quite well for moving abroad. It's a pity that our son can't see his extended family more frequently, but he gets fussed over even more when they do see him, which sort of makes up for it!

 

We enjoy living here but could up sticks and move on quite happily again, either somewhere else in Aus, back to the UK or somewhere else entirely. I suppose this nomadic streak means that feeling settled is a secondary matter to us. Having a house built certainly made here feel like home to us, but while we're now Aus citizens, I still feel like a Brit abroad and therefore a guest in this country and I doubt that will ever change (although I'm surrounded by Aus accents, occasionally I'll notice it and be reminded that I'm in a foreign country).

 

It's perfectly natural, though, to have a few wobbles along the way during migration; especially at key points like saying 'goodbye'.

[nikkinoodlesuk]

I think you'll always miss your family, I come from a close family and miss them more some days than others.

I prefer living here and with skype, facebook cheap phone plans it's so easy to stay in touch.

 

We've been here 4.5 yrs and feel settled most of the time but still don't 100% feel like it's home ........... yet !

[NicF]

I felt settled pretty much as soon as I'd unpacked our suitcases, but that's just me and the kind of person I am. I feel at home and settled anywhere as long as I can put my stuff away (living out of a suitcase is my idea of hell). It helps that we had been over for visits quite a lot before moving and my OH's family are all here. I miss my parents sometimes but not that much overall. I miss them most when I'm somewhere or see something they would like and want to share it with them. I don't Skype at all or talk to them that often and mostly keep in contact via email but when we do talk it's like we only saw each other yesterday. I've never been that close to my brother and don't miss him at all.

[carryon]

Mmmm, if your that close to your family then I would imagine it would be very hard! Did they give you their full backing in the move, if so that should help, if not....Ouch!!I always find it strange that people who are so close to family and friends would move away anyway, its a big thing to do without the added extra stress, as for a time limit...impossible to say, if you hit the floor running and embrace all this great county has then it will make life easier, if you sit and wallow and keep thinking about family it will become very difficult, we heard this from a friend! We were very similar to Jim and Adel as in being very independent from family back in UK. Best of luck anyways, its a new adventure, some things will be familiar some will make you go Whoarr!!!!!Enjoy them and enjoy the beautiful weather on its way, god bless!!!

[kildorragh]

I guess one way of looking at it is that if you felt totally settled in the UK you wouldn't be on this forum asking the question. You, like everyone who has experienced migration are obviously looking for something new.

Embrace the challenge.

You're not living on the other side of the world from your family - you are merely giving your family the opportunity of having a cheap holiday to Oz!!

Been here 8 yrs now. The kids have had a smile on their face from Day One - guess I was settled from Day One.

Good luck.

[jimmyskinner]

20 minutes

[coastie]

About 1 minute after I got through customs and into the carpark at Adelaide Airport. Everything (apart from getting a job) has been so easy. I've honestly felt settled since the minute I got here. I was worried before I left that I would be homesick but not a single homesick feeling.

 

UK seems a long distant past.

 

Coastie.