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    Thread: Support Calls

    1. #1

      Support Calls

      Some old one's but still funny

      Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'
      Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
      Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.[
      Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'

      Samsung Electronics
      Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
      Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.
      Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?
      Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'

      RAC Motoring Services
      Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'
      Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?

      Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ): 'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'

      Directory Enquiries
      Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.
      Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'
      Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.

      Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
      Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
      Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland

      On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
      'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.

      Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'
      Customer: 'OK'
      Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
      Customer: 'No'.
      Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
      Customer: 'No'
      Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
      Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote'click''

      Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
      Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'

      Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.

      There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
      Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

      Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
      Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
      Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
      Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
      Operator: 'Went away?'
      Caller: 'They disappeared.'
      Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
      Caller: 'Nothing.'
      Operator: 'Nothing??'
      Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
      Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
      Caller: 'How do I tell?'
      Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??' ]
      Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
      Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
      Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
      Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
      Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
      Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
      Caller: 'I don't know.'
      Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
      Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
      Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
      Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
      ]Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
      Caller: 'No.'
      Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
      Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
      Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
      Caller: 'I can't reach.'
      Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
      Caller: 'No.'
      Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
      Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
      Operator: 'Dark??'
      Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
      ' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
      Caller: 'I can't.'
      Operator: 'No? Why not??'
      Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
      Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
      Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
      Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
      Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
      Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
      Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
      Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
      Operator: 'Tell them you're too f*** ng stupid to own a computer!!!!!

    2. #2
      That is fantastic, so funny.:D Anyone having an off day, this will definately cheer them up.



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