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    1. #1

      Join Date
      Aug 2012
      47 times

      Moving to Adelaide after loss of a parent...worried about the one left behind.

      We have been planning our move to Adelaide for April. However, I lost my mum to cancer on 31st July. I'm doing ok at the moment as I have work and my young family to keep me going...my dad, however, only has me. We live an hour away currently and I'm trying to be there for him as much as possible but our plans have always been to emigrate to Australia early next year. My mum always knew this and supported our plans, but my dad has always blocked it out. I'm so scared that when I bring it up, it is going to make him feel even worse. My heart is breaking for him, but I know that we need to make this move for our family. We've never wanted to stay in the Uk, after having spent the last 14 yrs travelling around with the military. I know he will come and visit but he won't be thinking about that...he'll just be feeling that he's losing all his family. I have a brother and sister from my mum's first marriage and although my dad raised them, now my mum's gone, my brother hasn't called and my sister only visits my dad when she wants something (they're both in their 50s). I feel like I'm the only one who cares, and this will break him. I don't plan on telling him for another few months yet as the grief for my mum is still so raw, but I'm so scared this will break him. I guess I'm looking for reassurance that he will be ok, which no one can give me. Has anyone else faced this? He can't even get out to Oz on a visa anymore as they've made it so much tougher. Why does life have to be so tough sometimes.

      SA SS applied for 13/05/13; EOI invitation 06/06/13; 190 Visa grant 18/10/13, Reccie 03/04/14...landed in Adelaide... 9 April 2016.

    2. #2

      Join Date
      Mar 2014
      Flagstaff Hill
      44 times
      How very sad.
      So sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my mum to cancer and it was dreadful.
      We have just had a Cancer Awareness Day here, wearing Yellow Daffodil Badges.
      Time is the best healer.
      I don't know what else to say.
      Life is tough...Maybe invite your dad to come to Australia with you?

    3. #3

      Senior Member
      Join Date
      Sep 2011
      Southern Hemisphere
      557 times
      I feel for you. My dad died in 2008 from cancer which left my mum on her own (though my younger brother lives in the same town as her).....we always wanted to move to Oz and decided to seriously look into the move in 2011 and all went to plan and we landed out here in 2012. Leaving my mum behind was very hard and I will always have a nagging sense of letting her down even though she was pleased for us (at least, on the outside). I know the timescales for you are much closer together but I expect the feelings are similar. My mum has visited once and is due to come out again shortly, and she says that Skype and being able to video chat us regularly has really taken some of the distance away so by keeping in touch and making plans, you can help a little.

      Best of luck with a tricky time.
      "Don't stare at it for too long.....you'll go mad".



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