Tears & Tantrums

[alexandkaren]

Hi all,

Just really need to get this off my chest. Finally told the family that we will be definitely be moving to Adelaide in the next few months. My parents are obviously upset but are putting a brave face on it & know our reasons as to why we're making the move. My hubby works away & we have 1 day together a fortnight being the main factor but not the only. Something we've always wanted to do even before hubby worked away.

Anyways to say my 20year old sister has went mental over the move would be an understatement! She has said some really hurtful things to me (we've always been close) and doesn't want to see or talk to me. She wants to see my kids as much as possible before we leave which lve said she will. But l feel as if things are just getting ridiculous now she phoned last night wanting to speak to my youngest or rather ny mum phoned for her (which lm major pisssed at) and once Poppy was on the phone gave it to my sister.

I'm just feeling really lonely the now and starting to wonder are we doing the right thing (which l know we are). Also doesn't help that hubby is away so l've got to deal with the fallout on my own.

 

Thanks for reading

Karen x

[Blossom]

Geeee, you're better than me. I'd have told her she can talk to her when she grows up. But then, I hate behaviour like that, and I'm stubborn.

[alexandkaren]

Thanks for your reply Blossom, lm finding it hard now to not say we'll if not seeing them until u grow up xx

[Tamara (Homes Down Under)]

So sorry to hear about this. It does occur very often.

Friends of ours moved here a couple of years ago and a UK sister did everything that she could to sabotage their move. Made all sorts of promises to get the girls unsettled and to return.

It's very difficult leaving family behind, especially if parents are elderly. Ultimately though the reasons that you have for the move are still valid and if they are anything like ours when we moved here....then it's all about a better life for the children.

The world is a smaller place with communications making it easier to stay in contact. I see many many parents visiting their children who have made the move here so get established and get the folks over here. The long trip for them can be broken up with a stop over somewhere.

Hope that it all works out...you are not alone with what you are going through...

[alexandkaren]

Thanks Tamara, just really difficult with hubby away. I really appreciate your kind words. I knew she wouldn't be happy. I just need to remain focussed & hopefully we'll get our visa granted soon. TBH her behaviour is now starting to make me just want to get away so l don't need to put up with it x

[Toni]

20 years old is still pretty young. I can understand why she is upset cause she will miss you and the children but it is not right she is treating you badly like that as it is a choice you have made and it is right for you. I don't think you should buy into her games. If she wants to talk to the kids then she needs to talk to you. Perhaps tell your mother not to buy into it either. It must be doubly hard for her. She has to contend with you leaving and your sister behaving like that. Gee mums are great. They really put up with a lot. Good luck. Eventually she will come and visit and will probably see why you made the decision to leave.

[alexandkaren]

Thanks Tamara, just really difficult with hubby away. I really appreciate your kind words. I knew she wouldn't be happy. I just need to remain focussed & hopefully we'll get our visa granted soon. TBH her behaviour is now starting to make me just want to get away so l don't need to put up with it x

[alexandkaren]

Toni, thanks really hope she come round soon as want ro make the most of the time we have left x

[Guest wen66]

Stay strong and follow your dream. Talk to her and tell her how you feel. x

[alexandkaren]

Thanks Wen66 - trying to xx

[samandcraig]

It's definitely the hardest thing about the moving process for me so far, I hope she gets her head around things and doesn't waste the time you have left to spend together, I really want to talk about the move with some of my family members but some of them won't even discuss it (probably hoping it won't happen) but in the end they are just missing out on being around you as it makes you not want to spend your remaining time with people who you need to include in the conversations to try and help them understand why the move is great for you and YOUR family xx

[alexandkaren]

Sam, it's been an absolute nightmare. Really hoping she'll come round sooner rather than later. I've not really told or been asked about the move think they're hoping if they bury their heads on the sand it'll all go away but this time it's happening & we'll definitely be going through with it. Need to do it for my family now xx

[samandcraig]

Sam, it's been an absolute nightmare. Really hoping she'll come round sooner rather than later. I've not really told or been asked about the move think they're hoping if they bury their heads on the sand it'll all go away but this time it's happening & we'll definitely be going through with it. Need to do it for my family now xx

 

I know exactly how your feeling, I hope so too, for her sake really it makes it so much harder and adds to the stress you already have to cope with, I understand she is going to be upset and find it really hard, but it's your life not hers and she should be helping not making it harder for you xx

[alexandkaren]

Thanks Sam........spoke to her today and she apologised for acting the way she did so hopefully we can start to get back on track xx

[chrisda]

So difficult when you move. Hope that shes better with everything now and continues to support you. We had family that undermined our move but were two faced about it.

[samandcraig]

My husbands family are still just pretending it isn't happening and we leave in 5 weeks, they are missing out on spending time with their son and grandchildren, it's sad really xx

[Rabeah]

It's an emotional rollercoaster for everyone in the family, not only that you and hubby are stressed, some relatives like your sister can't cope with that BIG decision. I'm convinced she'll be fine after a while, her behaviour it's an expression of grief and loss. Try to give her some kind of reassurance as some people with 20 suffer a lack of maturity.

I remember how my mum tried to manipulate our move to Australia...everything was bad about it and we really had arguments. After 3 years have gone she's the one defending Australia! How things are changing, let time tick away...

[alexandkaren]

Thanks everyone for your kind words. Happy to report my sister is slowly coming to terms with our decision Xx