Canned milk - funny

[Guest Guest75]

A little old lady from Newfoundland had worked in and around her family

dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and

little compensation. When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery

stores in approximately the 1940's, she read an advertisement offering

$5,000 for the best slogan. The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with

"Carnation Milk is best of all...." She thought to herself, I know all

about milk and dairy farms... I can do this!

 

She sent in her entry, and about a week later, a black limo drove up in

front of her house.. a man got out and said, "Carnation LOVED your entry so

much, we are here to award you $1000, even though we will not be able to

use it....

 

"Carnation milk is best of all, no tits to pull, no hay to haul, no buckets

to wash, no shit to pitch, just poke a hole in the son-of a bitch."

[Guest ali@51]

Hi Tyke

 

loved your add based funny and rememberd this one from ages ago and wondered if this might tickle you. My dad told me this one about 5 years ago and it took him 1/2 + due to his giggling and being that his a waky lad I thought it might be up your street. Pluse itmeans I can blame him if you dont find it amuzing!!!!!!

 

A traveling sales man walks into a fish resterant and is seated a a table by the maitra dee, Jervaise. The resteraunt prides it self on the freshness of its fish and he is taken over to the fish tank to select his evening meal. After some Uming and aring he decides on squid and spesifies the small one in the corner with the hairy lip.

 

Jervaise fishes the condemed squid out of the tank and takes it throug to the kitchen to be sacrifised.However every time he raises his knife the squid lets out a mild little scream and puts him of his stroke. After 5 mins of this the guy that dose the dishes, Hans, has had enough and takes the Knife off Jervaise and says he will kill the squid he raises the knife above his head and prepares to kill the little squid. However once again the squid lets out a mild little scream. Hans drops the knife and cannot kill the squid.

 

This gose to prove one thing:-

Hans that do dishes can be soft as Jervaise with mild scream hariy lip squid

 

all together now oh no.......................................

 

ali and co

 

ps if you dont like this one their are more!!!;)

[Guest steph&neil]

you two are funny! hehehehehe i have a smile on my face that made the OH wonder what i was up to!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha!

Keep post them!

steph x

[Guest Aussiebound]

Keep them coming, nice to have a light hearted funny side to the forum.