• Results 1 to 6 of 6
    Like Tree1Likes
    • 1 Post By Guest75

    Thread: All in the name of beauty.......

    1. #1

      Join Date
      Jan 2007
      4457 times

      Talking All in the name of beauty.......

      Read elsewhere......HONEST!!

      All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of
      easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and
      now...the wax.

      My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner,
      play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully
      in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit
      out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise:
      the bathroom.

      It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax,
      you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you
      peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you
      pull the hair right off. No mess, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean,
      not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this

      (YA THINK!?!)

      So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each
      other, stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius
      kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.
      ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the
      skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best
      feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer
      eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of
      smooth skin

      With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I
      sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting
      championship. I drop my knickers and place one foot on the toilet.
      Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side
      of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and
      stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it
      was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

      I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....omg!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I
      notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip.
      OH NO! What have I done???!!! Another deep breath and RRIIP! P!!
      Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay
      conscious...Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to

      I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused
      me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in
      the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!
      There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

      Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see
      the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching

      WHAT?! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which
      is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.

      Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped
      up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot
      down. My LIFE FLASHES BEFORE ME!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell

      *hoo-hoo*? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut!

      I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and
      think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may
      pop off!"

      What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!! I'll
      run the hottest water I can stand into the bath, get in, immerse the
      wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off,
      right??? WRONG!!!!!!!

      I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to
      torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

      Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued
      together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of
      the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold

      So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-
      epoxied myself to the porcelain!!

      God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a
      phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

      I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some
      secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter
      - "So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the

      There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for
      removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to
      know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hoo-

      She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the
      rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
      YEAH!!!!! Right!!

      I would be the joke of someone else's night.

      While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax
      off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie
      goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot
      water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

      By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and
      I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counselling
      for this event.

      My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving
      grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I
      really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and omg!!!!!!!

      The scream probably woke the kids and scared the hell out of my

      It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!"

      I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.

      I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my
      grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!

      So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I
      could have amputated my own leg at this point.

      Next week I'm going to try hair colour......
      KayO likes this.

    2. #2

      Senior Member
      Join Date
      Apr 2007
      Port Noarlunga
      5 times
      That was so funny, you really made me chuckle!!!
      Matt 37, Suzi 38 (Dog Groomer) Ben 11 and Charlie 9 05/07/11 Got the visa !!!

    3. #3

      Senior Member
      Join Date
      Oct 2006
      239 times
      funny......really funny!

      You've got stop this Tyke - Im not getting any work done at home!

      Chris, Sarah, Molly & Phoebe - Arrived in Adelaide 21st August 2007, Living in Moana

    4. #4
      Ditto Sarah - Tyke - It's your fault I haven't done any ironing today!

      Cari ;)

    5. #5


      I think i've just pee'd ma,self ! :D

    6. #6

      Smile OMG - You brave lady!

      Hey i have cried tears!!!!!!!!!! I do on the other hand have a solution! when i get out there book an appointment (i am fully qualified beautician!) bless you, it reminded me of my college days!
      hope you* hoohoo* is feeling better (or at least the feeling has returned):(

      ps book a salon for your hair & if you instist on doing it yourself buy clippers first heheheheheeh

      what a giggle thanks for sharing what most women have tried but fail to tell others that the experience is life threating & scaring!
      steph x


    Copyright 2006 - 2015 Australia Migration Forums