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    1. #1

      Senior Member
      Join Date
      May 2007
      Hallett Cove
      62 times

      Talking concieving children ...

      The Smiths were unable to conceive children and
      decided to use a
      surrogate father to start their family. On the day
      the proxy father was
      to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and
      said, "Well, I'm off
      now. The man should be here soon."

      Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door
      baby photographer
      happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a

      Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."

      Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in,
      embarrassed, "I've been
      expecting you."

      Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well,
      that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"

      Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please
      come in and have a

      After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do
      we start?"

      Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
      bath, one on the
      couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And
      sometimes the living room
      floor is fun. You can really spread out there."

      Bath, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work
      out for Harry and

      Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one
      time. But if we
      try several different positions and I shoot from six
      or seven angles,
      I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

      My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

      Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his
      time. I'd love to be in
      and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be
      disappointed with that."

      Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

      The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out
      a portfolio of his
      baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus,"
      he said.

      Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her

      And these twins turned out exceptionally well -
      when you consider her
      mother was so difficult to work with."

      She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

      Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to
      the park to get the
      job done right. People were crowding around four and
      five deep to get a
      good look."

      Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide
      with amazement.

      Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than
      three hours, too.

      The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I
      could hardly
      concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to
      rush my shots.
      Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my
      equipment, I just had
      to pack it all in."

      Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they
      actually chewed on your,

      It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll
      set-up my tripod and
      we can get to work right away."


      Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my
      Canon on. It's much
      too heavy to be held in the hand very long."

      With that, Mrs. Smith fainted.
      Last edited by mOZzy; 19-06-2007 at 08:57 PM.

    2. #2

      Senior Member
      Join Date
      Apr 2007
      Old Reynella
      420 times
      I refer the honarable member to the previous thread .....


      I think the Tykester may be suing under the copywrite laws.

    3. #3

      Senior Member
      Join Date
      May 2007
      Hallett Cove
      62 times
      but honest! then we weren't allowed to write anything at all - because 'the Tykester' has been around soooo long and has (according to others) so much time on his hands that he probably has already written everything possible so far!!! ;)

      and i couldn't find the 'copywrite' anywhere on that post :p

    4. #4
      Very funny - but I thought it sounded familiar!


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