Why beer is better than women.

[Guest Guest75]

Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Women

 

1. You can enjoy a beer all month long. 2. Beer stains wash out. 3. You don't have to wine and dine beer. 4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play baseball/soccer/basketball/etc. 5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out. 6. Beer is never late. 7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer. 8. Hangovers go away. 9. Beer labels come off without a fight. 10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer. 11. Beer never has a headache. 12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents. 13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer on your breath. 14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head. 15. A beer always goes down easy. 16. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty. 17. You can share a beer with your friends. 18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer. 19. Beer is always wet. 20. Beer doesn't demand equality. 21. You can have a beer in public. 22. A beer doesn't care when you come. 23. A frigid beer is a good beer. 24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good. 25. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony. 26. Good beer costs less than good women. 27. A beer doesn't change its mind after you've taken off its top. 28. Beer doesn't expect an hour of foreplay before satisfying you. 29. A beer looks as good in the morning as it did when the bar closed. 30. You can't get thrown in jail for having a beer under the grandstand at halftime. 31. Afterwards, a beer won't feel guilty, cry, propose, call her mother, your ex-wife or her therapist. 32. Beer never bugs you to have little beers. 32. If your preference for a type of beer changes, you don't have to get involved with lawyers. 32. Beers don't want a lasting relationship. 32. A beer doesn't make you sleep onthe couch after you've taken six other beers on a picnic. 32. After you've put your lips to a beer, a beer never asks, "What are you doing?" 32. Finishing a beer in 3 seconds is something to be proud of. 32. You can have a beer on your lunch hour. 32. A beer never wants to stay up afterwards talking about respect. 32. A beer won't slap you in the face for putting it between your legs at a drive-in movie.

 

Sorry if some are a bit risque.

[Guest dglamoore]

Beer better than Men? Well, There are 86 reasons why.....

 

 

 

1. A beer makes life easier.

2. A beer NEVER leaves the toilet seat up.

3. A beer lasts longer than seven seconds.

4. A beer doesn't want to watch pro wrestling.

5. A beer won't expect you to cook dinner when you're not hungry.

6. A beer will never leave dirty socks on the floor.

7. A beer will never expect you to sit in the wet spot IT makes.

8. A beer doesn't care if you go shopping.

9. A beer doesn't mind when your mother visits.

10. A beer does as many chores as a man, with a LOT less complaining.

11. A beer won't leave you for a younger woman.

12. A beer won't leave you for a younger man either.

13. You don't have to worry about getting diseases from a bisexual beer.

14. Having a beer can't make you pregnant.

15. A beer won't tease you because you once liked Barry Manilow.

16. A beer will never smell like a man.

17. A beer doesn't wouldn't trade you in on a sports car.

18. If a beer did have a sports car, it wouldn't love it more than you.

19. A beer doesn't want to go out alone with the other beers.

20. A beer doesn't sulk.

21. A beer wouldn't waste its money on Playbeer magazine.

22. A beer won't switch the TV channel.

23. A beer doesn't have to sleep with the windows open. 24. A beer doesn't snore.

25. A beer can't interrupt.

26. A beer doesn't care that you can't find your car's carburator.

27. A beer doesn't think black leather bikinis are neat.

28. A beer doesn't belch.

29. Or fart.

30. A beer doesn't mind having stockings dry in the bathroom.

31. A beer doesn't care that you don't balance your checkbook.

32. A good beer is easy to find.

33. Tall, dark, good-looking beers are common.

34. A beer can't pout.

35. A beer doesn't have a mother.

36. A beer doesn't have friends who will drink your beer.

37. A beer wouldn't yell if you dented the car.

38. A beer won't get jealous if you enjoy another beer.

39. A beer won't even mind if you have another six pack.

40. A beer doesn't buy everything labelled "turbo".

41. A beer won't care if you gain five pounds.

42. A beer will be there for anytime of the month.

43. A beer doesn't want children.

44. A beer doesn't think poetry is queer.

45. A beer isn't ready until you're ready.

46. If the beer is finished before you are, you can have another beer.

47. A beer can't talk about the women who had it before you.

48. Hangovers go away.

49. A beer tastes good.

50. Having a beer doesn't make you want to take a shower.

51. A beer would never leave hair in the bottom of the bathtub.

52. A beer is never late.

53. A beer will never invite friends home for dinner without calling.

54. A beer's life does not revolve around the world series.

55. A beer won't think less of you if you can't name the football team members.

56. A beer won't even act amazed if you can.

57. A beer would never make fun of your new outfit.

58. A beer never needs a shave.

59. You don't have to let a beer win.

60. A beer doesn't care what toppings you get on the pizza.

61. Just because you have dinner with a beer doesn't mean you have to sleep with a beer too.

62. A beer doesn't have morning breath.

63. A beer never wants to go to the drag races.

64. A beer is happy to go where ever you want to go.

65. A beer helps with the housework.

66. A beer will never drink the last beer.

67. A beer will never fumble with your bra.

68. You can't get herpes from a beer.

69. A beer will never take the newspaper apart before you've read it.

70. A beer always lets you read the Sunday comics first.

71. A beer is seldom messy.

72. When a beer is finished, it doesn't roll over and go to sleep.

73. After you've had a beer, all you're committed to doing is throwing out the container.

74. A beer container is recyclable.

75. A beer wouldn't mind if you wanted it to wear a condom.

76. A beer will NEVER call you "Babe". Or "Sugar".

77. A beer is never tempermental.

78. A beer will never complain about your cooking.

79. A cold beer is a good beer.

80. A beer is not kinky unless you want it to be kinky.

81. A beer will never worry about losing its hair.

82. A big, fat beer is nice to have.

83. A beer is never too sensitive.

84. A beer won't steal the covers.

85. You don't have to laugh at a beer's jokes.

86. A beer won't mind at all if you're not in the mood for beer.

 

 

anything men can do and all that

 

Lisa:cool:

[Guest Django]

79. A cold beer is a good beer.

 

Well there you go, just shows you women no nothing about beer. A GOOD beer is served warm or at room temperature. A rubbish beer, ie lager, is served cold.

 

Case for the men wins on the account that the women don't know what they are talking about.

 

Right know then. Where is my tin helmet and my running shoes???

[Guest dglamoore]

mmmm another little comment to go in the Django file or should I say filing cabinet!!!!

 

Lisa:cool:

[Hayshake]

I'm not taking sides, but would add that that Django will be very disapointed in Aus, as they never serve warm beer, and look down on those crazy Poms who do like it warm.

[Guest Django]

Django will be very disapointed in Aus, as they never serve warm beer

 

This I know already. I like a good beer but I'm not really a drinker anymore. Yesterday when I met up with the Golfers of the forum was the first time I've been to a pub since I moved up from the south (over 4 years ago). So not too disapointed.

[Guest Weez]

Beer better than Men? Well, There are 86 reasons why.....

 

anything men can do and all that

 

Lisa:cool:

 

 

Hey you go girl, together we WILL win this battle !!!!

 

weez

[Guest ali@51]

[/left]

 

Well there you go, just shows you women no nothing about beer. A GOOD beer is served warm or at room temperature. A rubbish beer, ie lager, is served cold.

 

Case for the men wins on the account that the women don't know what they are talking about.

 

Right know then. Where is my tin helmet and my running shoes???

Reason 87. A good beer can be drunk warm or cold just as you like it without having to pander to the beers moods.

 

Reason 88. A beer dosn't get pedantic.

 

 

Seconds out round 3

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest Aussiebound]

Go Lisa !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Have printed the list off for Neil to take to work.

[Guest dale_jo@]

Hee Hee, Loved no 86!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest Django]

Reason 87. A good beer can be drunk warm or cold just as you like it without having to pander to the beers moods.

 

Goes to show women don't read men's posts.

 

A good beer is served at room temp. If you have to chill a beer it is not a good beer. Doesn't have anything to do with pandering to moods.

 

Lets put it in girly speak..... Would you chill red wine?

 

Right where is my tin helmet and my running shoes????

 

Pete

[Guest ali@51]

Got a long way Pete??? tin hat still on???? goooooooood!

 

OK I'm resurecting the GBH gnome!!!!

 

Point 1. A good beer can be drunk warm or cold. English ales tend to be drunk luke warm continental beers on the othe hand tend to be drunk chilled i.e Chimay (belgium) and most of the german wheat beers. If you havent tried them I would highly recomend them!Also a number of british beers recomend that they are served chilled i.e waggle dance or Newcastle brown ale. I will conced however that the realy treacly hangover inducing ales ie skull splitter are slightly better serverd luke warm, but is the hangover worth it ?

so a good beer can be served warm or cold.

 

OK are you sitting or should that be running comfortably? here comes the historylesson. Drinking red wine @ room temperature was a tradition started by the edwardians when the only people drinking red wine were rich bu....s in very large houses where the (I want to say ambient but cant spell it) average room temperatue was several degrese cloder than it is today so no Pete I wouldnt chill red wine but if you wanted to be histoicaly accurate you should OK lesson over class dismissed

Just gose to show men dont get their facts straight before answering womens posts

What next Oh yes Case for the women wins on account that the men dont know what they are talking about??

 

seconds out round 4

 

[Guest Django]

English ales tend to be drunk luke warm continental beers on the other hand tend to be drunk chilled

 

Exactly my point. A good beer is served warm and c**p foriegn muck is served cold.

 

Tin hat has been on for weeks and will remain tightly on. Oh and still running.

[Guest happy-jools]

Think I may have missed the point, cause I just drink anything. Whether is red or white, cold or warm.

 

Maybe Im an Alcoholic.

 

Of to join AA now.

[Guest ali@51]

Also a number of british beers recomend that they are served chilled i.e waggle dance or Newcastle brown ale.

did you also miss this point?????

 

Just goes to show men dont read womens posts

 

Oh and Happy-jools I will also drink anything so long as it is served in copious ammounts but cant resist the oppertunity for banter!!!!!!!!!!!! pearsonaly so long as its alcholic Ill try anything once so prhaps Ill see you at AA as I definatly have a drinking problem only 1 mouth and 2 hands

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest Aussiebound]

Also a number of british beers recomend that they are served chilled i.e waggle dance or Newcastle brown ale.

did you also miss this point?????

 

Just goes to show men dont read womens posts

 

Oh and Happy-jools I will also drink anything so long as it is served in copious ammounts but cant resist the oppertunity for banter!!!!!!!!!!!! pearsonaly so long as its alcholic Ill try anything once so prhaps Ill see you at AA as I definatly have a drinking problem only 1 mouth and 2 hands

 

 

 

I thought drinking anything and everything on a regular basis was completely normal - you have me worried now!

[Guest The Francis clan]

Welcome to the first on line meeting of AAA-Adelaide alcoholics anonymous!-could be an interesting forum?

I agree-who cares what it is-as long as there's plenty of it!

Damn night duty-really fancy a G&T now- see what you've done?!(all the breaking strain of a flip flop!)

[Guest ali@51]

Are you not having one then?? now I think I really need help when I was on nights I used to regulaly have a beer befor I went to bed!!!!!!!!! After all it night time for u

[Guest happy-jools]

I like the triple A (Adelaide Alcoholics Anonymous) -

 

what a great way to meet people, if only for a P*** Up.XX;)

[Guest Guest75]

Welcome to the first on line meeting of AAA-Adelaide alcoholics anonymous!-could be an interesting forum?

I agree-who cares what it is-as long as there's plenty of it!

Damn night duty-really fancy a G&T now- see what you've done?!(all the breaking strain of a flip flop!)

 

Hiya Don't think I've introduced myself yet,welcome to PIA.

Sort of the resident Adelaide nutter and beer monster here;)

 

Wait until you taste the delights of Tooheys New.A friend got me onto it and I'm buying in bulk now.

 

 

 

BTW flip flops are thongs over here - that should make for some giggles:p

 

 

BBTW - BEER IS JUST BETTER THAN WOMEN (ducks from the Smack Fairy)

[Guest The Francis clan]

Any excuse for drink will do-will any of us ever be sober if we all got together,makes me reminisce about my student days!

[Guest Django]

will any of us ever be sober if we all got together

 

We shall put this to the test on 19th August at the East-Mid meet and report back.

 

Pete

[Guest ali@51]

Now u have got me thinking dose anyone remember drinking a blastaway in their student days?? bottle of dimond white & bottle of castaway in a pint glass I do , but I have to say I wish i didnt. Just dont mention locked toilets and glasses if I ever meet any of u.

 

Tyke u dont have to worry about ducking from the smack fairy the GBH gnome is on this case!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

What have beer and Men got in common?????

 

 

They are both empty from the neck up and if you spend any amount of time with either u end up talking c***

 

can I borrow your tin hat and running shoes pete???

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest Aussiebound]

Now u have got me thinking dose anyone remember drinking a blastaway in their student days?? bottle of dimond white & bottle of castaway in a pint glass I do , but I have to say I wish i didnt. Just dont mention locked toilets and glasses if I ever meet any of u.

 

 

 

Oh Yes - Blastaways - they where the days!!! Like Diamond White wasn't lethal enough on its own!!! Castaway was a lovely drink from what I remember, trust us young students to ruin it!!

[Guest happy-jools]

MMMMM Blastaway.

 

Does anyone know if you can still get castaway.

 

If you can, I may bring some camping.