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    1. #1

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      Wink Why beer is better than women.

      Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Women

      1. You can enjoy a beer all month long. 2. Beer stains wash out. 3. You don't have to wine and dine beer. 4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play baseball/soccer/basketball/etc. 5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out. 6. Beer is never late. 7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer. 8. Hangovers go away. 9. Beer labels come off without a fight. 10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer. 11. Beer never has a headache. 12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents. 13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer on your breath. 14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head. 15. A beer always goes down easy. 16. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty. 17. You can share a beer with your friends. 18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer. 19. Beer is always wet. 20. Beer doesn't demand equality. 21. You can have a beer in public. 22. A beer doesn't care when you come. 23. A frigid beer is a good beer. 24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good. 25. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony. 26. Good beer costs less than good women. 27. A beer doesn't change its mind after you've taken off its top. 28. Beer doesn't expect an hour of foreplay before satisfying you. 29. A beer looks as good in the morning as it did when the bar closed. 30. You can't get thrown in jail for having a beer under the grandstand at halftime. 31. Afterwards, a beer won't feel guilty, cry, propose, call her mother, your ex-wife or her therapist. 32. Beer never bugs you to have little beers. 32. If your preference for a type of beer changes, you don't have to get involved with lawyers. 32. Beers don't want a lasting relationship. 32. A beer doesn't make you sleep onthe couch after you've taken six other beers on a picnic. 32. After you've put your lips to a beer, a beer never asks, "What are you doing?" 32. Finishing a beer in 3 seconds is something to be proud of. 32. You can have a beer on your lunch hour. 32. A beer never wants to stay up afterwards talking about respect. 32. A beer won't slap you in the face for putting it between your legs at a drive-in movie.

      Sorry if some are a bit risque.

    2. #2
      dglamoore
      Beer better than Men? Well, There are 86 reasons why.....



      1. A beer makes life easier.
      2. A beer NEVER leaves the toilet seat up.
      3. A beer lasts longer than seven seconds.
      4. A beer doesn't want to watch pro wrestling.
      5. A beer won't expect you to cook dinner when you're not hungry.
      6. A beer will never leave dirty socks on the floor.
      7. A beer will never expect you to sit in the wet spot IT makes.
      8. A beer doesn't care if you go shopping.
      9. A beer doesn't mind when your mother visits.
      10. A beer does as many chores as a man, with a LOT less complaining.
      11. A beer won't leave you for a younger woman.
      12. A beer won't leave you for a younger man either.
      13. You don't have to worry about getting diseases from a bisexual beer.
      14. Having a beer can't make you pregnant.
      15. A beer won't tease you because you once liked Barry Manilow.
      16. A beer will never smell like a man.
      17. A beer doesn't wouldn't trade you in on a sports car.
      18. If a beer did have a sports car, it wouldn't love it more than you.
      19. A beer doesn't want to go out alone with the other beers.
      20. A beer doesn't sulk.
      21. A beer wouldn't waste its money on Playbeer magazine.
      22. A beer won't switch the TV channel.
      23. A beer doesn't have to sleep with the windows open. 24. A beer doesn't snore.
      25. A beer can't interrupt.
      26. A beer doesn't care that you can't find your car's carburator.
      27. A beer doesn't think black leather bikinis are neat.
      28. A beer doesn't belch.
      29. Or fart.
      30. A beer doesn't mind having stockings dry in the bathroom.
      31. A beer doesn't care that you don't balance your checkbook.
      32. A good beer is easy to find.
      33. Tall, dark, good-looking beers are common.
      34. A beer can't pout.
      35. A beer doesn't have a mother.
      36. A beer doesn't have friends who will drink your beer.
      37. A beer wouldn't yell if you dented the car.
      38. A beer won't get jealous if you enjoy another beer.
      39. A beer won't even mind if you have another six pack.
      40. A beer doesn't buy everything labelled "turbo".
      41. A beer won't care if you gain five pounds.
      42. A beer will be there for anytime of the month.
      43. A beer doesn't want children.
      44. A beer doesn't think poetry is queer.
      45. A beer isn't ready until you're ready.
      46. If the beer is finished before you are, you can have another beer.
      47. A beer can't talk about the women who had it before you.
      48. Hangovers go away.
      49. A beer tastes good.
      50. Having a beer doesn't make you want to take a shower.
      51. A beer would never leave hair in the bottom of the bathtub.
      52. A beer is never late.
      53. A beer will never invite friends home for dinner without calling.
      54. A beer's life does not revolve around the world series.
      55. A beer won't think less of you if you can't name the football team members.
      56. A beer won't even act amazed if you can.
      57. A beer would never make fun of your new outfit.
      58. A beer never needs a shave.
      59. You don't have to let a beer win.
      60. A beer doesn't care what toppings you get on the pizza.
      61. Just because you have dinner with a beer doesn't mean you have to sleep with a beer too.
      62. A beer doesn't have morning breath.
      63. A beer never wants to go to the drag races.
      64. A beer is happy to go where ever you want to go.
      65. A beer helps with the housework.
      66. A beer will never drink the last beer.
      67. A beer will never fumble with your bra.
      68. You can't get herpes from a beer.
      69. A beer will never take the newspaper apart before you've read it.
      70. A beer always lets you read the Sunday comics first.
      71. A beer is seldom messy.
      72. When a beer is finished, it doesn't roll over and go to sleep.
      73. After you've had a beer, all you're committed to doing is throwing out the container.
      74. A beer container is recyclable.
      75. A beer wouldn't mind if you wanted it to wear a condom.
      76. A beer will NEVER call you "Babe". Or "Sugar".
      77. A beer is never tempermental.
      78. A beer will never complain about your cooking.
      79. A cold beer is a good beer.
      80. A beer is not kinky unless you want it to be kinky.
      81. A beer will never worry about losing its hair.
      82. A big, fat beer is nice to have.
      83. A beer is never too sensitive.
      84. A beer won't steal the covers.
      85. You don't have to laugh at a beer's jokes.
      86. A beer won't mind at all if you're not in the mood for beer.


      anything men can do and all that :p

      Lisa

    3. #3

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      Quote Originally Posted by dglamoore View Post
      79. A cold beer is a good beer.

      Well there you go, just shows you women no nothing about beer. A GOOD beer is served warm or at room temperature. A rubbish beer, ie lager, is served cold.

      Case for the men wins on the account that the women don't know what they are talking about. :p

      Right know then. Where is my tin helmet and my running shoes??? ;):D

    4. #4
      dglamoore
      mmmm another little comment to go in the Django file :p or should I say filing cabinet!!!!

      Lisa

    5. #5

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      I'm not taking sides, but would add that that Django will be very disapointed in Aus, as they never serve warm beer, and look down on those crazy Poms who do like it warm.

    6. #6

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      Quote Originally Posted by Hayshake View Post
      Django will be very disapointed in Aus, as they never serve warm beer
      This I know already. I like a good beer but I'm not really a drinker anymore. Yesterday when I met up with the Golfers of the forum was the first time I've been to a pub since I moved up from the south (over 4 years ago). So not too disapointed.

    7. #7

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      Quote Originally Posted by dglamoore View Post
      Beer better than Men? Well, There are 86 reasons why.....

      anything men can do and all that :p

      Lisa

      Hey you go girl, together we WILL win this battle !!!!;)

      weez
      Weez and the gang ;)
      Been here since sept 08 and have found 'home'

    8. #8
      ali@51
      Quote Originally Posted by Django View Post
      [/left]

      Well there you go, just shows you women no nothing about beer. A GOOD beer is served warm or at room temperature. A rubbish beer, ie lager, is served cold.

      Case for the men wins on the account that the women don't know what they are talking about. :p

      Right know then. Where is my tin helmet and my running shoes??? ;):D
      Reason 87. A good beer can be drunk warm or cold just as you like it without having to pander to the beers moods.

      Reason 88. A beer dosn't get pedantic.



      Seconds out round 3






    9. #9
      Aussiebound
      Go Lisa !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Have printed the list off for Neil to take to work.

    10. #10
      dale_jo@
      Hee Hee, Loved no 86!!!!!!!!!!

     

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