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This is terrible and I wish your daughter all the best on getting over this awful experience.
I think bullies target their victims for several reasons, and pick on something that 'singles' the victim out as being 'different' in some way, so it could be the fact they wear glasses, the fact they have red hair, or the fact they have a different accent. Whatever it takes to make them feel isolated. In a lot of cases it is particularly hard to deal with for migrants or new arrivals, as they haven't had the chance to build up several different networks of friends and their only circle is the school friends, so when the bullies cut them off from that for support, it is so much harder to deal with.
Apart from doing what you have, which is remove her from the school, the only other thing I can think of that might help in the future is to look into other activities she could do, clubs she cold join (drama, sport, music, youth group, church groups, gym class), so she builds up an assortment of 'groups' she belongs to, then if the bullies isolate her from one group, she has other 'outside' friends she can turn to for support (as well as her family, obviously). This is not something that can happen overnight though, so it is regrettably the newer arrivals that suffer most when something happens.
I don't think Australia or Adelaide is alone in this in any way - it's a worldwide problem unfortunately.
As a mother of a 16 year old daughter, I really feel for you and yours so much.
Sometimes the grass will appear greener on the other side because it has been fertilised by bull****
It is a horrible situation for any child...but particularly hard for a young girl of 15 coming over to a new country...I hope your daughter is happy in her next school...
My eldest daughter was 15 when we moved here 5 years ago....She experienced some abuse at High School....I remember quite well how she had walked home from school and some girls followed her, hurling abuse....but what i cant remember, if the abuse was directed at her because she was a POM or just because she was new....
And it doesnt always happen at school.......she was working on the checkout at the local Foodland, and one particular customer picked up on her english accent and got very nasty and told her to F**k Off back to England.....not a pleasant experience for a 15 year old girl to deal with....
Arrived November 2005........live in Happy Valley
The trouble with bullying is that it's a vicious circle, once you've lost confidence, even in a new environment you'll react to any little comment that may have been made jokingly, assuming it was meant nastily, anyone with bullying tendencies will pick up on that reaction and it starts up again.
I second what Diane said, try to get some hobbies going outside of school. Maximise the chances of finding people you get on well with. Speaking from experience all it takes is one friend to restore confidence that not everyone hates you and that the bullies are just idiots with nothing better to do. And you need that confidence in order to be able to shrug off and ignore the bullying if it arises again/at the new school. Once you don't react to it, they eventually get bored and leave you alone. I eventually gave up even trying to make friends at school, used to go do my instrument practises at breaks/lunch, such that I had more time in the evenings to spend with my friends from outside of school. At the end of the day, why on earth would you expect to find someone you get on really well with out of a random sample of 30 people whose only thing in common is age and where their parents live?
edit to add: this was in UK, though also happened in France, bullies just pick up on lack of confidence and pick any random difference to abuse about... doesn't even have to be a difference, once saw some kids wearing glasses calling some other poor kid 'four eyes' - go figure.
Last edited by RockDr; 18-11-2010 at 03:07 AM.
Bullying is rife in schools, everywhere at the end of the day - the pommie bit is just an extra insult they can make - if the bullies are going to pick on people theyl do it regardless to where theyve come from.
C**T is just as bad as pommie C**T at the end of the day...its nowt to do with being english - its just the scum bag bullies lacking imagination so resorting to the pommie slurr...i recall the one indian girl in one of my primary schools being called a P****e C**T and honestly you all know that that goes on everywhere!
In our experience here the bullying rate is at the same rate as the uk schools - jees the primary school my big kids went to in runcorn was utterly vile...
Taking your daughter out is the best answer, and best result for your daughter, a fresh start etc for her, and she has the experience behind her now to be selective in who she invites into her new circle of friends again.
I took my daughter out of the best state/public school in gloucestershire (according to the stats) as she was sexually assaulted and the school rather than deal with it, punished her as she hung the boy over the banisters of the stairwell....
Although unfortunately bullying happens all over the world, I havn't found it to be as bad here. However my son was spat at repeatedly on his way home from school by some other students and when I went in and complained the school couldn't have been more helpful. Both the offenders were suspended and had to write letters of apology. I was really pleased to see the school dealing with this sort of thing so positively, however I think this occured because he happened to be there, in the wrong place at the wrong time time, not beacuse he's english. As others have said, keeping your daughter at home till after christmas is probably the best and maybe she can look at some other schools with you? I encouraged my kids to find out of school activities for this very reason as girls in particular can be vile. I hope that you and your daughter find a school she enjoys going to and that she can enjoy here extended summer holidays now too x
Please say which school it is as I want to avoid it.
This happened to my nephew in oz also, the annoying thing is that half of the Aussies come from other countries anyway and if they look back in their family tree they probably desend from convicts, the true Aussie which is the abo got driven out and treated awful by the whites. It really annoys me what gives them the right to do that to a child!!! My 8 year old son got bullied for 18 months, it was horrific. He now lacks in confidence and he is sure a lovely boy, just scared in case we come to oz and it all happens all over again. I don't think he could take it again. Hope you get things sorted