Bullies

[Guest doje6863]

Took my 15 year old daughter out of school today.

 

She has been systematically bullied and today was surrounded by 25+ Year 9 and 10's.

 

Most of the bullying was because she's British.

 

For those of you planning the move, don't be put off, we just picked the wrong school.

 

Feel suddenly very sad, lonely and homesick

 

donna

[suziewozie]

So sorry to hear that, and I feel you have definately done the right thing in pulling your daughter out of that School.

 

Its times like this when you really miss having your family around.

 

Take your time in finding a new School and try and focus on the positives rather than the negatvies right now.

[Guest willow1234]

thats so disturbing donna, hope you and your family can get threw this.i supose i ought to be gratefull as my children has settled well into school, weve only been here 6 months. hope everything goes well for you guys and you havnt been put off too much !

[Guest guest569]

Sorry to hear about your daughter. My daughter also had issues with bullies ( boys and girls) at her primary school. We did the same as you and moved her and it was the best thing we could have done !!! She now loves school again and has made some good friends. Good luck to your daughter in her new school !!

[Guest Nick11]

When we first arrived my 6 year old was bullied at a quite a prestigious school in the adelaide hills. It broke my heart and made me want to get the next plane home. Thankfully we moved quite quickly and he found lots of lovely friends..both English and ozzie alike.

So I can fully sympathise with what you're going through

Big hugs

xx

[ozzieclare2be]

aww donna sorry to hear that hun, think youve done the right thing xx

[Moosh]

I've heard another family taking their kid out of that school because of bullying. Unfortunately it happened again at 3 other schools in the local area too.

[Guest shella_n]

Thats disgracefull!! The school should be named and shamed!

 

So sorry you have had to all go through that.

[Guest doje6863]

Thanks ever so much for all the pm's and replies on here.

I have sent a really strong email to the governors of Graces' ex-school, doubt if they even bother to respond but it sure did feel good venting off steam like that!

As for where we go now, I've told Grace that in a few years time, these brats may feel bad about what they have done to her, but by then Grace will have her own life and won't even remember their names. But its so hard when your daughter, who so wanted to come to Australia, now wants to go back.

 

Oh well, lets see what tomorrow chucks at us.

 

Thanks again all

 

donna

[Guest guest3462]

Give her a well deserved break and don't start her back until next term. The poor girl deserves some time to get over the stress. Hope everything works out in her new school next year xxx

[Guest nicandchris]

Yes ive heard that bullying is abit of a problem in oz schools, why is this?

Took my 15 year old daughter out of school today.

 

She has been systematically bullied and today was surrounded by 25+ Year 9 and 10's.

 

Most of the bullying was because she's British.

 

For those of you planning the move, don't be put off, we just picked the wrong school.

 

Feel suddenly very sad, lonely and homesick

 

donna

[Guest garlic--bread]

I'm sorry to hear about your daughters bullying. My niece has suffered at the hands of bullies, she has been called a pommie slut etc - this in my opinion is racism at it's basic level. She's the sweetest girl you could meet and only petite yet this girl (the bully) was twice the size. A video of one of the fights was even posted on youtube!! this was quickly removed however and the persons account who posted it was deleted. There was also a news story on 6 news apparently. It's upsetting because they all moved from Wagga Wagga in NSW to Adelaide in the hope of a brighter future. To add insult to injury they promised to exclude the girl responsible (although it has since come to light that it all stemmed from one boy who has since started trouble with my nephew who had nothing to do with it all) then back stepped at the last minute, they promised to keep them out of the same lessons together but on this girls first day back she was in the first lesson with my niece!! My niece was also 'bashed' by this girl outside school, but the teachers didn't believe her as all this girls friends colluded with each other to tell the same story, even though a woman reported what she saw to the school the next day my niece received no apology. The school are frightened to do this as ths bully is an indigenous Australian! Terrible!

 

However my sister had very little interest from the head teacher and his assistant spoke to my brother in law as if he were a schoolboy! I must admit he kept his cool and just walked out and refused to deal with her again. The school has systematically failed to do anything about the whole thing so now she has passed it on to the higher school authorities in the hope of getting something done....lets see!

[Guest guest4504]

wow ! And all this goes on in alot of places towards Brits ? I wonder if alot of people think is it really worth it to be in Oz, after all, so many say its for the children. Is this wide accross schools all over Adelaide, or just a certain number. From the ones I have read about in the past, School heads dont seem to bother. Are the conplaints just seen as " Wingin pommes ". I would say this is the main thought of concern over many other things, even finance. Would like to hear if this is common or not. Sorry to hear about that from the original poster, hope you find a better place.

[RJECSAUNDERS]

wow ! And all this goes on in alot of places towards Brits ? I wonder if alot of people think is it really worth it to be in Oz, after all, so many say its for the children. Is this wide accross schools all over Adelaide, or just a certain number. From the ones I have read about in the past, School heads dont seem to bother. Are the conplaints just seen as " Wingin pommes ". I would say this is the main thought of concern over many other things, even finance. Would like to hear if this is common or not. Sorry to hear about that from the original poster, hope you find a better place.

 

Sadly, bullying happens all over. Our daughter was terribly bullied in the UK - and she was only in primary school! We have all learnt from it though, because if I am honest, we put too much trust that the school was doing all they could for her, when really they were doing nothing. To the OP - you have done the best thing by taking your daughter out - wish we had done that sooner than we did. Hopefully, all will work out for your daughter and you, it us such a horrible thing for the whole family. We couldn't be happier with the school our daughter is in now - she is like a different child with confidence we never knew she had.

[Moosh]

If I had a kid, I would encourage it to kick back. I know its not the done thing but if the schools do nothing then they may as well fight their own corner. You have my permission to smack the b$%^& where it hurts!

[ShaunWilson]

Both of our kids have never been bullied at school since we got here. I feel sorry for the OP, and believe they have done the right thing, but bullying in school just because you are "british" is not rife!! Bullying hapens in schools, whether it be here or back in the UK. Not justifying it, and saying it's ok, but it happens.

[Guest doje6863]

Thanks for reply Shaun and I am genuinely happy that you haven't gone through the torment that Grace has gone through. It is very easy to blame "racism", but when you are called a "pommie c***" on a daily basis you kind of feel there is a pattern of bigotry forming. The amount of PM's I have recieved also show that it is not, unfortunately, an isolated case. Bullying does happen in schools and perhaps I shouldn't have titled my post "bullies" as Grace has been persecuted and not just "bullied" or "sent to Coventry" which we may have encountered as kids. Today the kids, usually girls are downright evil and are very careful at planning their attacks and ensuring they have the support of the "mob". We now also have the knowledge that this has been spread on Facebook and will no doubt follow her to her next school. I spose what is also a concern is that the school has knowledge of the abuse and has decided not to act.

 

donna

 

Both of our kids have never been bullied at school since we got here. I feel sorry for the OP, and believe they have done the right thing, but bullying in school just because you are "british" is not rife!! Bullying hapens in schools, whether it be here or back in the UK. Not justifying it, and saying it's ok, but it happens.

[Guest jordanfamily]

That is awful ...some schools don't care.I just been into my 5 year old daughter's school cos she was slapped round the face by a 6 year old yesterday (she told me not the school! ). The teacher told me it had probably been dealt with at lunchtime and this girl has issues and finds it hard to be friendly so she couldn't do anything about it!!. We moving tomorrow and daughter going to new school in Jan so hopefully will be ok. Hope your daughter ok and you get it sorted out

[Guest Nicky&Andy]

i so feel for your daughter and yourselves, its every parents night mare, our's started in willunga high school this is their second week, luckily they have so many new friends, and were made to feel really welcome, my nearly 15yr old has even been on camp already,

 

the hardest decision is do you leave her in the same school or try a different one

all i can say is i wish you all the luck in the world to get this sorted, its hard enough for their age group to move to a different country without haveing to deal with bullying as well

 

good luck

[Guest Janine3979]

There are Bullies everywhere in the UK and OZ, you just have to find a school that deals with them effectivley.

[ShaunWilson]

Thanks for reply Shaun and I am genuinely happy that you haven't gone through the torment that Grace has gone through. It is very easy to blame "racism", but when you are called a "pommie c***" on a daily basis you kind of feel there is a pattern of bigotry forming. The amount of PM's I have recieved also show that it is not, unfortunately, an isolated case. Bullying does happen in schools and perhaps I shouldn't have titled my post "bullies" as Grace has been persecuted and not just "bullied" or "sent to Coventry" which we may have encountered as kids. Today the kids, usually girls are downright evil and are very careful at planning their attacks and ensuring they have the support of the "mob". We now also have the knowledge that this has been spread on Facebook and will no doubt follow her to her next school. I spose what is also a concern is that the school has knowledge of the abuse and has decided not to act.

 

donna

 

I do understand that it happens, and has happened to friends of ours with kids in other schools. I do feel for your daughter and you as parents, and honestly hope you get things sorted and it's better in her new school. Maybe a meeting with the principal before she starts and explain everything that has gone on previous may help ease the way for her?

[Diane]

This is terrible and I wish your daughter all the best on getting over this awful experience.

 

I think bullies target their victims for several reasons, and pick on something that 'singles' the victim out as being 'different' in some way, so it could be the fact they wear glasses, the fact they have red hair, or the fact they have a different accent. Whatever it takes to make them feel isolated. In a lot of cases it is particularly hard to deal with for migrants or new arrivals, as they haven't had the chance to build up several different networks of friends and their only circle is the school friends, so when the bullies cut them off from that for support, it is so much harder to deal with.

 

Apart from doing what you have, which is remove her from the school, the only other thing I can think of that might help in the future is to look into other activities she could do, clubs she cold join (drama, sport, music, youth group, church groups, gym class), so she builds up an assortment of 'groups' she belongs to, then if the bullies isolate her from one group, she has other 'outside' friends she can turn to for support (as well as her family, obviously). This is not something that can happen overnight though, so it is regrettably the newer arrivals that suffer most when something happens.

 

I don't think Australia or Adelaide is alone in this in any way - it's a worldwide problem unfortunately.

 

As a mother of a 16 year old daughter, I really feel for you and yours so much.

[lorluc]

It is a horrible situation for any child...but particularly hard for a young girl of 15 coming over to a new country...I hope your daughter is happy in her next school...

 

My eldest daughter was 15 when we moved here 5 years ago....She experienced some abuse at High School....I remember quite well how she had walked home from school and some girls followed her, hurling abuse....but what i cant remember, if the abuse was directed at her because she was a POM or just because she was new....

 

And it doesnt always happen at school.......she was working on the checkout at the local Foodland, and one particular customer picked up on her english accent and got very nasty and told her to F**k Off back to England.....not a pleasant experience for a 15 year old girl to deal with....

[RockDr]

The trouble with bullying is that it's a vicious circle, once you've lost confidence, even in a new environment you'll react to any little comment that may have been made jokingly, assuming it was meant nastily, anyone with bullying tendencies will pick up on that reaction and it starts up again.

 

I second what Diane said, try to get some hobbies going outside of school. Maximise the chances of finding people you get on well with. Speaking from experience all it takes is one friend to restore confidence that not everyone hates you and that the bullies are just idiots with nothing better to do. And you need that confidence in order to be able to shrug off and ignore the bullying if it arises again/at the new school. Once you don't react to it, they eventually get bored and leave you alone. I eventually gave up even trying to make friends at school, used to go do my instrument practises at breaks/lunch, such that I had more time in the evenings to spend with my friends from outside of school. At the end of the day, why on earth would you expect to find someone you get on really well with out of a random sample of 30 people whose only thing in common is age and where their parents live?

 

edit to add: this was in UK, though also happened in France, bullies just pick up on lack of confidence and pick any random difference to abuse about... doesn't even have to be a difference, once saw some kids wearing glasses calling some other poor kid 'four eyes' - go figure.

[Guest katsmajic]

Bullying is rife in schools, everywhere at the end of the day - the pommie bit is just an extra insult they can make - if the bullies are going to pick on people theyl do it regardless to where theyve come from.

C**T is just as bad as pommie C**T at the end of the day...its nowt to do with being english - its just the scum bag bullies lacking imagination so resorting to the pommie slurr...i recall the one indian girl in one of my primary schools being called a P****e C**T and honestly you all know that that goes on everywhere!

 

In our experience here the bullying rate is at the same rate as the uk schools - jees the primary school my big kids went to in runcorn was utterly vile...

 

Taking your daughter out is the best answer, and best result for your daughter, a fresh start etc for her, and she has the experience behind her now to be selective in who she invites into her new circle of friends again.

 

I took my daughter out of the best state/public school in gloucestershire (according to the stats) as she was sexually assaulted and the school rather than deal with it, punished her as she hung the boy over the banisters of the stairwell....